Ups and Downs of Love

[H2O3C4Nitrogen]

Ups and Downs of Love

Everyday in my business I hear about folks falling in and out of love. I have always been perplexed by that...how does one fall in and out of love?

I've discovered that what they call falling in and out of love is not the 'love for another' but the love of their own projected image of that person. As Dr. Stan has told me, true love is having a real, authentic desire to accept a person as they are not the way you'd like them to be. I realize that's a hard one but anything less isn't love.

It has been proven, in study after study, that the first stage of love can last anywhere from 3 months to 2 years. Somewhere in that time frame you get a wake-up call and it usually makes you question whether this person is the one for you. Great question. Too bad most people don't ask it while they are dating but instead, wait until the mad rush of love isn't quite there. Then they decide to take the time to determine if the person is 'right' for them.

Ladies and gentlemen, please be willing to love yourself enough to ask yourself serious questions about whether the man or woman you are dating has the same intentions towards life or a similiar value system. Now, what's fascinating is when you are truly willing to practice loving yourself in that way, the love you attract is quite different than the love you experienced before.

And what's even more fascinating, when you practice loving people for who they are (not who you wish they would be) then you truly discover the gift that person can be to your life.

It's no secret that I'm in love and yes, I'm in the first phase of love and yes, I've had a few wake-up calls. And what I'm most proud of is the way I've handled those wake-up calls.

What is a wake-up call? You know that moment when your mate does something and you can't quite believe that the love-of-your-life is capable of such behavior, i.e. eating sushi with a fork or going to bed with workout sweat or not brushing their teeth for an entire day or even worse, giving you the same look your mother gave you when you knew you were in trouble or forgetting your birthday or getting angry at you for something you deem silly or walking out during a fight, etc.

You know, those moments when you ask yourself some version of: Have I made a mistake? When the wake-up call hits, you might want to run out the door screaming or call your best friend and claim an alien has taken over your mate or just pack up and leave telling yourself "It's not worth it."

I've realized wake-up calls are when I truly am my most loving. It is when I decide to love, not necessarily because I feel it. Trust me on this one...it isn't always easy.

Mr. Love-A-Lot is not always easy to love until...I decide to see his innocence when he isn't making sense or choose to move towards him when I want to run away or speak first when I secretly want him to get on his knees and beg forgiveness. I realize I must act loving if I am going to feel loved. If not, the love I feel will be fleeting and I will be falling in and out of love depending on his lastest thought, word or deed.

I don't know about you but I want to experience true love, authentic love, great love. The funny thing is I've realized it has little to do with the other person and everything to do with breathing through my fear and being willing to be vulnerable when it is the last thing I want to do.

It's my willingness to love first that makes me truly fearless.

 

[H2O3C4Nitrogen]

Keep Love Growing Through All The Ups And Downs


We are meant to live a life of love. However, no matter how successful some are in other aspects of their lives, they wonder if it’s possible to have the same success in love. Although things may start out wonderfully in the beginning, there is always the fear that it won’t last, that difficulties will arise, feelings will start to change. Then when things alter, as they naturally must, many have the mistaken idea that the love is disappearing. . They wonder what went wrong.

Nothing went wrong. Change is natural and inevitable. It does not mean that the love has gone away. That is a mistaken idea of what love is. We simply have to know what love is, and how to keep it growing, through all the ups and downs.

The Perfect Partner

When we initially fall in love, we feel we have found “the perfect person.” A tremendous excitement takes over. We project many wonderful qualities upon our partner and block out any faults. Then we feel that we, too, must be so wonderful to have a partner who is so ideal. For many there is the feeling that they have finally discovered someone who will be able to give them all the love, approval and inspiration they have sought all their lives.

This is a huge demand to make upon another person, but it happens anyway. When this demand is not fulfilled, a deep disappointment can arise. It seems as though the partner has failed us, but in truth it is the unrealistic demands we have made that is causing pain.

Guide 1: Take a close look at what you are expecting from your partner. Is it possible? Are you setting yourself up for a fall?

Realize that no one can make up for years of upset. No one can give you all you need to feel whole. You must learn to love, grow and become whole on your own. You must become your own best friend, and also learn to be a friend to the other

After a period of time, when we feel more secure in the relationship, it is inevitable that reality starts to set in. Different qualities in our partner become obvious. It’s hard to keep pretending that the person matches all our dreams. It is at this point that questions and doubts start to surface. Perhaps there is a desire to “change” the other to meet our image, or a feeling that if they loved us enough, they would naturally change.

Both stop a moment and think carefully. Another person does not exist to meet all of your needs and dreams. This is not love. It is using anotheras an object to meet our needs. This desire itself cause our pain.

Guide 2: No one has to change for you to love them. Nor do you have to change to be worthy of love. You can never change enough to please another person. The work of love is to be able to love the other just as they are, and to also love yourself.

The work of love is the work of learning to accept the other person, and also to accept yourself. Love is not a feeling that stays the same all the time. Love is a verb. It grows as we face change and difficulty. Love grows through actions we take, through understanding and through developing the ability to really know who the other is and to really become their friend.

“A feeling that is here one minute and gone the next cannot be called love.”

 

[SQ8]

Distractions.. Distractions...

 

[Jiya seher]

Keep Love Growing Through All The Ups And Downs


We are meant to live a life of love. However, no matter how successful some are in other aspects of their lives, they wonder if it’s possible to have the same success in love. Although things may start out wonderfully in the beginning, there is always the fear that it won’t last, that difficulties will arise, feelings will start to change. Then when things alter, as they naturally must, many have the mistaken idea that the love is disappearing. . They wonder what went wrong.

Nothing went wrong. Change is natural and inevitable. It does not mean that the love has gone away. That is a mistaken idea of what love is. We simply have to know what love is, and how to keep it growing, through all the ups and downs.

The Perfect Partner

When we initially fall in love, we feel we have found “the perfect person.” A tremendous excitement takes over. We project many wonderful qualities upon our partner and block out any faults. Then we feel that we, too, must be so wonderful to have a partner who is so ideal. For many there is the feeling that they have finally discovered someone who will be able to give them all the love, approval and inspiration they have sought all their lives.

This is a huge demand to make upon another person, but it happens anyway. When this demand is not fulfilled, a deep disappointment can arise. It seems as though the partner has failed us, but in truth it is the unrealistic demands we have made that is causing pain.

Guide 1: Take a close look at what you are expecting from your partner. Is it possible? Are you setting yourself up for a fall?

Realize that no one can make up for years of upset. No one can give you all you need to feel whole. You must learn to love, grow and become whole on your own. You must become your own best friend, and also learn to be a friend to the other

After a period of time, when we feel more secure in the relationship, it is inevitable that reality starts to set in. Different qualities in our partner become obvious. It’s hard to keep pretending that the person matches all our dreams. It is at this point that questions and doubts start to surface. Perhaps there is a desire to “change” the other to meet our image, or a feeling that if they loved us enough, they would naturally change.

Both stop a moment and think carefully. Another person does not exist to meet all of your needs and dreams. This is not love. It is using anotheras an object to meet our needs. This desire itself cause our pain.

Guide 2: No one has to change for you to love them. Nor do you have to change to be worthy of love. You can never change enough to please another person. The work of love is to be able to love the other just as they are, and to also love yourself.

The work of love is the work of learning to accept the other person, and also to accept yourself. Love is not a feeling that stays the same all the time. Love is a verb. It grows as we face change and difficulty. Love grows through actions we take, through understanding and through developing the ability to really know who the other is and to really become their friend.

“A feeling that is here one minute and gone the next cannot be called love.”

Love is like an ocean which is never finished although now i donn have trust upon it as i think in our country there is nothing of this name "love" coz here love is the 2nd name of time pass
...........wht u say