Both are good points and both factors are necessary in making a society conducive for strong families.
The state alone cannot impose rules and regulations on individuals within their private life. It will cause resentment within the people. Rather, the state should only concern itself with the public life, and as much as I know some folks might not like the sound of this, but a religious body should concern itself with the spiritual health of the people, and even that body should not intervene within their private life. Because only a spiritual incentive can regulate people within their private life.
Things like abstaining from sex until after marriage is something only the individual can do on their own initiative. And no other incentive is powerful enough to achieve this than the spiritual incentive.