Capital Bull Shit
Aug 02, 2015: A total of 7.6 million voters voted for PTI candidates; the PTI bagging nearly 17 percent of the popular votes. The PTI’s current tally stands at 35 general seats.
Election results shattered delusions. Party leader Imran Khan, suffered serious bruises to his ego and possible brain damage as a direct result. Later on he failed to keep his promises on most fronts and as coming days would show, tried his best to stay relevant even after being rejected by the nation.
1st World Record: PTI, the most righteous party in the history of mankind, started public agitation against election results. Billions of dollars were wasted as a direct result of this non-sense. Businesses suffered, except for the news businesses. Delusional party supporters attacked national buildings and brought shame to the entire nation. IK denied any responsibility for attack on Radio Pakistan, but some corrupt bastard leaked IK's conversation in which he was instructing his deputy to attack Radio Pakistan. The only person who seemed more delusional than IK himself was Tahir-ul-Padri al-maroof Candadvi Mulla. The combined forces of these two leaders held thousands of people hostage in the capital.
Lo and behold, the election commission eventually declared the elections generally free and fair. But the justice system which was A-AWESOME when a government minister was sacked, had now become a part of purana Pakistan.
2nd World Record: The only province with a PTI government still lacks in education, health and all other metrics. The projects shown in presentations are assumed to be real life working projects by PTI fan boys. Meanwhile ACTUAL, ON-GROUND projects are continuously bashed by jialas and yoothias for being expensive.
Lo and behold, ACTUAL work is being done on ground and projects like metros, solar parks, wind parks are in operation. Huge projects in coal, nuclear, hydro are under construction.
3rd World Record: While the nation suffered under terrorism, the glorious leader Imran Khan kept handing on to his delusions of a peaceful solution. Ultimately 132 innocents paid with their lives and the glorious leader changed his stance. Instead of guiding the nation towards a strong united response, IK helped distort the discourse.
Lo and behold, after the operation was launched and it seemed popular with the masses, PTI started changing its stance. But it was not too long before IK had another brain fart and went back to his delusional stance of negotiating with people who had guns up his arse.
Who said: “Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don’t add up.”
The writer is an average, fed up, middle class guy based in Anytown, Pakistan.
