There is something fundamentally wrong with Pakistani parenting style in the diaspora

[Avicenna]

This is a good pick up by @OsmanAli98

I think this applies also to other Muslim majority ethnicities as well however.

But I agree, it's definitely a REAL phenomenon.

 

[airmarshal]

There is something fundamentally wrong with Pakistani Parenting in the diaspora I know its taboo topic because being that Pakistan is a 98 percent Islamic country and very conservative one the respect of elders and parents in general is taken highly I am not against that but I think a good chuck of the elders and parents from our background misuse that responsibility,example its very common from a early age to abuse kids verbally and physically anytime a child wants to fight back or counter their relatives or friends automatically put blame on the child even when the parents are the culprit of abuse this continues even further into adulthood,also I think most Pakistani elders no offense are low key racist or prejudice towards other Muslims heck even fellow Pakistani Muslims from different ethnicity or group even if follow all the rules and you cause no ruckus abuse continues this is taking for granted it's no wonder 2nd gen or 3rd gen folks are self hating and dont want to identify with anything Pakistani

There is a problem with parenting in whole of Pakistan.

Its because parents are not educated and I include those too who have college degrees. There is jahalat, unawareness, lack of education about values, religion etc. Its to do with tarbiyat.

 

[Rusty]

When I was young, my mom used to love to tell me that story of a kid who's mom wanted water but then fell asleep so the kid stood there all night waiting for his mom to wake up so he could give her water.

As an adult, that story sickens me to my stomach and shows how barbaric Pakistani culture can be.

Children are not dogs where you use and abuse them how you want and expect them to be completely obedient.
Children are little humans, your job as a parent is to teach them how to be big humans.

There are also studies that show that societies that expect children to be obedient also do not innovate as much as societies that treat their children like humans.

I know many PDFers would love to live in the dark ages, but the reality is that in our modern world, innovation is the currency of wealth and success.

 

[cloud4000]

There is something fundamentally wrong with Pakistani Parenting in the diaspora I know its taboo topic because being that Pakistan is a 98 percent Islamic country and very conservative one the respect of elders and parents in general is taken highly I am not against that but I think a good chuck of the elders and parents from our background misuse that responsibility,example its very common from a early age to abuse kids verbally and physically anytime a child wants to fight back or counter their relatives or friends automatically put blame on the child even when the parents are the culprit of abuse this continues even further into adulthood,also I think most Pakistani elders no offense are low key racist or prejudice towards other Muslims heck even fellow Pakistani Muslims from different ethnicity or group even if follow all the rules and you cause no ruckus abuse continues this is taking for granted it's no wonder 2nd gen or 3rd gen folks are self hating and dont want to identify with anything Pakistani

This is not only a problem in Pakistan but all of South Asia. Automatic defence and respect for someone just because they are older than me are not right. Respect should be earned regardless of age, and it should be mutual. Don't disrespect children simply because they are children.

 

[LeGenD]

How many here are married and parents on top? When you will tick both boxes, only then you will understand what your parents had been through to provide for you and how they felt when you were acting all macho and calling them dumb/paindo.

Is fear of Allah Almighty lost in you? Study Holy Quran in full and only then you will understand the bigger picture. Do not let foreign philosophy and norms cloud your judgement.

Strive to be a better human being and do not disrespect your parents - be patient and tolerant. Allah Almighty is watching.

This isn't to say that parents should abuse their children. But what will you do when you grow older? Disown them or throw them out of the home? Be sensible, and learn to cope with pressures of life.

 

[Yankee-stani]

How many here are married and parents on top? When you will tick both boxes, only then you will understand what your parents had been through to provide for you and how they felt when you were acting all macho and calling them dumb/paindo.

Is fear of Allah Almighty lost in you? Study Holy Quran in full and only then you will understand the bigger picture. Do not let foreign philosophy and norms cloud your judgement.

Strive to be a better human being and do not disrespect your parents - be patient and tolerant. Allah Almighty is watching.

This isn't to say that parents should abuse their children. But what will you do when you grow older? Disown them or throw them out of the home? Be sensible, and learn to cope with pressures of life.

You see I understand your point but you assume that what I am writing is the justification of western forms of parenting is right and the Pakistani style is right I say both are wrong and un-Islamic in a sense both push offsprings in the diaspora away from their culture and then later deen or religion, western form is ultra liberalism which is wrong leads to kids being astray the Pakistani form is control and trying to use cultural means to supress Kids from taking a path that could be right I am saying they should not act like their bosses and kids are employees

When I was young, my mom used to love to tell me that story of a kid who's mom wanted water but then fell asleep so the kid stood there all night waiting for his mom to wake up so he could give her water.

As an adult, that story sickens me to my stomach and shows how barbaric Pakistani culture can be.

Children are not dogs where you use and abuse them how you want and expect them to be completely obedient.
Children are little humans, your job as a parent is to teach them how to be big humans.

There are also studies that show that societies that expect children to be obedient also do not innovate as much as societies that treat their children like humans.

I know many PDFers would love to live in the dark ages, but the reality is that in our modern world, innovation is the currency of wealth and success.

I have said here and will say it again if you hate western style forms and its culture why tf you moved in the first place if you knew it was going to effect your next generation

 

[Azadkashmir]

There is nothing more wrong or less wrong in Pakistani diaspora parents then their country of origin. One look at the state of Pakistan shows the mess the country is in. Deviant crimes, peadophilia, corrupt to the core, lazy, filthy habits and amoral culture produces the mess we call Pakistan. So one look at Pakistan demolishes the notion the parents in Pakistan produce better generation.

If they were good at parenting they would lay the seeds of a generation that would turn Pakistan into envy of the world.

mashallah this I agree. take it from me I have experience - abroad Pakistan bemaaani we got our sister married. The husband decides to play games and ran off with his best friend wife and got her pregnant to get a stay. truth is the biggest **** gannd sh it happens in pak where they fcuk each other sisters and wives behind closed doors. yet have the gall to say uk paks are corrupt. whisky, young girl prostituting, drugs, **** videos, incest, fraud, stealing, treason, jealousy, black magic now donkey meat etc is committed in Pakistan like it is normal. Ask all UK Pakistanis what is their concern the answer will be: my relative back home are stealing my parents land.

what they don't teach uk is life skills which a lot of people say nowadays.

I remember one time I saw an English man teach his toddler, probably still in his nappies to pick up his own food bag and say thanks to the chipy shop owner. train your kid young and keep them close.

oh yep, this another conspiracy, Pakistani's in pak pull on their oversea cousins, that is: to play malicious phone calls - so the newly married couple in uk get suspicious and breakup and to curse and spread rumours.

 

[Wa Muhammada]

Fault of the people. Prosperity, literacy, law/order etc don't fall from the skies. The real resource of any country are the people. Germany was wiped out in 1945. Not a single town was left unscathed. 5 million Germans were dead. Yet within 10 years the entire country was rebuilt and German industry became global leader. Where did all that come from. Das Volk.

Let's play a hypothetical. All British people were teleported to Pakistan. All Pakistani's were teleported top UK. What would happen afteer 20 years?

Gore would die of the heat and pakis would make Britain corrupt lol

The queen would have to seek asylum in Romania

 

[El Sidd]

All Pakistani parents should be forced to read that Altaf Hussain Hinduism conversion thread.

These are the brightest minds you nourished.

Cherish them.

Time is running out i need your lakht e jigars for my personal ambitions

 

[Valar.]

For some reasons, Pakistani parents believe that they can raise kids in west with eastern values.
How the hell these parents despise western values and yet move there?
How the hell they expect their kids to follow eastern values in a place where it doesn't even exist or at times not appreciated?