The virginity industry

[zagahaga]

why people can not make a big deal about it .. its a reason why GOd put it there soo the husband know that his wife is a virgin daaaawwww..... and how dose the women know that the husband is not a virgin ... only experience can tell

 

[jagjitnatt]

We in the subcontinent are still too concerned about virginity.

I would personally like to have a virgin wife but it wouldn't matter to me if she isn't either. Virginity is over hyped in the subcontinent.

But I would never want to marry someone who got herself a restoration like this because such a person is trying to cheat me with a false virgin tag. If you ain't a virgin then admit it. If someone does have sex, then he/she should be able to face the consequences too.

If she is not ready to face the consequences then she shouldn't have had sex in the first place. Only immature people have sex without hint of the aftermath. I wouldn't want to have such a partner for sure.

I really hate fake people. Sometimes I feel like pulling out that rocket launcher off my bag and blowing that clown into pieces. But thats just me.

 

[Hyde]

We in the subcontinent are still too concerned about virginity.

I would personally like to have a virgin wife but it wouldn't matter to me if she isn't either. Virginity is over hyped in the subcontinent.

But I would never want to marry someone who got herself a restoration like this because such a person is trying to cheat me with a false virgin tag. If you ain't a virgin then admit it. If someone does have sex, then he/she should be able to face the consequences too.

If she is not ready to face the consequences then she shouldn't have had sex in the first place. Only immature people have sex without hint of the aftermath. I wouldn't want to have such a partner for sure.

I really hate fake people. Sometimes I feel like pulling out that rocket launcher off my bag and blowing that clown into pieces. But thats just me.

Jay Ho !

Very well said Sir

 

[prodevelopment]

We in the subcontinent are still too concerned about virginity.

I would personally like to have a virgin wife but it wouldn't matter to me if she isn't either. Virginity is over hyped in the subcontinent.

But I would never want to marry someone who got herself a restoration like this because such a person is trying to cheat me with a false virgin tag. If you ain't a virgin then admit it. If someone does have sex, then he/she should be able to face the consequences too.

If she is not ready to face the consequences then she shouldn't have had sex in the first place. Only immature people have sex without hint of the aftermath. I wouldn't want to have such a partner for sure.

I really hate fake people. Sometimes I feel like pulling out that rocket launcher off my bag and blowing that clown into pieces. But thats just me.

The problem is just that. We in the subcontinent are just too concerned about virginity. We are not capable to sit down and have mature discussions on this topic.

A girl is willing to talk about it if the other person is willing to listen. But if your husband is hell bent on beheading you, why would she not try to save her own life (if only by deceiving him)? Sure she made a mistake, but it's for her to worry about. Why should the entire society ostracize her? That BS should stop. Then I promise you, this 'industry' would perish as well.

 

[SMC]

I actually want to hear from a modern, educated muslim's point of view about freedom of lifestyle and freedom to live one's own life without being judged by everybody. So yes, please answer.

I am not judging anyone. My point is there is nothing wrong with seeking virginity contrary to what the article is suggesting towards the end. And I am trying to say why there's nothing wrong with seeking virginity. If people are gonna do it, go ahead, I honestly couldn't care less. Really, I don't.

As for why it's more than just superficial. To me personally it shows patience, it shows the desire to be with one person you love(and tends to work out), etc. A relationship where you have sex before marriage pretty much never lasts long.

What about having children before marriage? That's another big point as it is statistically proven that children from single mother homes are far more likely to not go to college, far more likely to drop out of high school, far more likely to go to prison, etc.

Having sex before marriage is also not healthy.

Also, people tend to get hurt far more often with this than in being virgin and then getting married. This 14 year old white girl I know, she was in a relationship, lost her virginity to a guy. Guy left her and she was devastated. You would have to know her to see how bad she felt. She said she cried several times a day, was very depressed and wanted the guy back.

I asked her why are you so upset? It's just one guy. You can get another one. She said "I lost it to him". Her first answer. No doctoring of her answer from me, exact words she said. She said was she loved him so much, etc, and that she will love him forever and do anything to get back to him. She also said there's plenty of other girls like this who don't talk about it with most people.

So those are some of the reasons. Personally I have a hard time putting my thoughts into words on this one. It's just something in my mind I have a hard time converting to words.

As for my overall thoughts, I will say again. If you want to do it, go ahead, I am not gonna judge you. Best of luck. But please, don't tell me it's wrong to seek virginity.

 

[Choppers]

Virginity is over-hyped

Big Issue over a Small Tissue

 

[Awesome]

The problem is just that. We in the subcontinent are just too concerned about virginity. We are not capable to sit down and have mature discussions on this topic.

A girl is willing to talk about it if the other person is willing to listen. But if your husband is hell bent on beheading you, why would she not try to save her own life (if only by deceiving him)? Sure she made a mistake, but it's for her to worry about. Why should the entire society ostracize her? That BS should stop. Then I promise you, this 'industry' would perish as well.

The argument that somebody would kill her - vanishes when if she can come to Paris, she can get the hell away from those crazy conservatives as well who would kill over this matter.

IF the argument is that a 'nice' guy won't like her any more, then that's the nice guy's choice. She can go find plenty of guys who would be okay with it. She doesn't have to be a non-conformist and then complain that the rest of the society isn't conforming according to her. To each their own...

I'm pretty sure a lot of women would be just using this as a deception tactic, if they are getting surgery in Paris they can definitely get out of their society at some point as well. It's that saying in Urdu, "Sau choohay maarke billi Haj ko chali" (The cats going for Haj after killing a hundred mice)

 

[gubbi]

Lol, a ridiculous issue over a piece of tissue!!

"the more experience the woman has, the stronger she becomes"
So according to some modernday cavemen a woman should not have experience and she should not be strong!

Such people should "go [bleep] themselves"

 

[waraich66]

Islam dont allow girlfriend and boyfriend relationship.

Having taken care of the daughter, I will now focus attention on the son. It is ironical that parents react as if there is a death in the family when their daughter engages in a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. But when it is the son who is in a similar or worse position, the same parents are complacent,. feel that the boy needs to have experience and enjoy himself first before he can settle down and marry. It is as if the daughter alone carries the honor of the family.

Honor needs to be distributed evenly among the family if it is to be kept intact. This means the father, mother, son and daughter must each guard their own honor. If the father or mother loses his or her honor then they are providing the role model for their children. And if the son loses his honor and goes unpunished then the daughter will see this as a hypocritical act and consequently rebels. For any mediating action to work on the daughter, parents must be consistent on their son as well. Look to the reasons why girls pursue boys then parents will see that those are the same ones that propel boys into the arms of girls.

 

[haawk]

yup virginity is over hyped!!!!!! besides whats wrong in losing it premaritally!!!! extramarital affair is another thing!........

and it is also biased......we guys never even have to worry about it coz we are men!!!! isnt that hypocracy again......

 

[prodevelopment]

The argument that somebody would kill her - vanishes when if she can come to Paris, she can get the hell away from those crazy conservatives as well who would kill over this matter.

I'm sorry sir but I don't think you grasped the context in which this article was written. Quotes from the original article...

Whether in Asia or the Arab world, an unknown number of women face an agonising problem having broken a deep taboo. They've had sex outside marriage and if found out, risk being ostracised by their communities, or even murdered.

The social pressure is so great that some women have even taken their own lives.

Sonia wants to remain anonymous for fear of reprisal. She is a slender young brunette studying at art college in Paris.

Although born in France, Arab culture and traditions are central to Sonia's life. Life was strict growing up under the watchful eyes of a large traditional Arab family.
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IF the argument is that a 'nice' guy won't like her any more, then that's the nice guy's choice. She can go find plenty of guys who would be okay with it. She doesn't have to be a non-conformist and then complain that the rest of the society isn't conforming according to her. To each their own...

I'm pretty sure a lot of women would be just using this as a deception tactic,

I am obviously not condoning the act of deception. However, it is between the wife and the husband. I'm of this opinion that this should be discussed between the two of them BEFORE the marriage to sort out any possible confusions.

 

[SMC]

May I add that if 2 people in Islam have sex before marriage then they are supposed to marry and everything's fine. At least that's what I heard from other muslims.

 

[SMC]

yup virginity is over hyped!!!!!! besides whats wrong in losing it premaritally!!!! extramarital affair is another thing!........

and it is also biased......we guys never even have to worry about it coz we are men!!!! isnt that hypocracy again......

I think the bias is overstated. There's other things that guys are under more pressure in, taking care of family, providing for the family, treating women with respect (women are not asked to do the same to men), not hitting women (again, women are not asked to do the same), etc. Not as one-sided.

 

[jagjitnatt]

May I add that if 2 people in Islam have sex before marriage then they are supposed to marry and everything's fine. At least that's what I heard from other muslims.

There are a lot of things that we as humans are supposed to do, but what we do and what we are supposed to do are two different things.

Also the virginity is of concern to only those people who themselves are virgin. Its not a concern actually, its an insecurity. Since they themselves are virgins they expect the same in return. They feel ripped off and cheated when their partners are not virgin. They feel as if all their life they have been so stupid and missed the most joyful moments of their life in anticipation that someday they would find someone who would all theirs to love. Its obvious they would be disappointed since they were expecting otherwise for their entire life.

For those people who themselves are not virgins, their partner's virginity is least of their concerns.

 

[SMC]

I am speaking from a religious POV, not what a person feels.