I was not talking about you as I know your take on that issue. I was talking about those secular liberal hyper-nationalists who label us as "Arab slaves" for no good reason whatsoever---Despite us speaking, dressing, eating our own way. We have retained our culture for the most part, and have not Arabized ourselves.
Their real enmity is against religion.
Okay my apologies. I thought you included me there.
And yes, I would agree, such people have enmity with religion.
Absolute control is just as counter-productive as absolute freedom.
Nikkah by coercion is invalid to begin with---one can talk the issue or council the girl if there is a need to.
True, you are correct.
However when it comes to judging men and selecting a prospective groom, women have the intellect of an ant, perhaps even less.
This is why only the father should decide who the prospective groom(s) will be for their daughter(s). Of course, provided that the father is a practicing Muslim and of good character himself.
If he's a drunkard, gambler, or only wants his daughter(s) to marry someone from his own clan or tribe, disregarding the Islamic criteria of selecting a prospective groom (character and religiosity), then of course he is in the wrong and in contradiction with Islam, and this is one of those pre-Islamic practices still common in our region, (unfortunately), and should be ridden of.
That being said, most women decline good proposals over superficial things. For example, a certain guy might have all of the qualities of a good prospective spouse from an Islamic standpoint, but a girl will simply decline him because he can't "make her laugh" or "keep her interest in a conversation".
And of course men in our society aren't any less superficial either. And then the parents make things even more complicated with their own superficial demands. This is why so many Pakistanis end up marrying-out into other Muslim nationalities and races, because our own fellow Pakistanis make it next to impossible to get married to another Pakistani.