Defence Imposes Sanctions on Jauhar
Khaiban-e-Tom Cruise, Phase VIII, Defence - After several days of accusations and warnings, Defence finally imposed financial sanctions on Gulistan-e-Jauhar. ‘We all know mobile-snatchers are trained in Jauhar,’ said Defence’s ambassador to Jauhar, Tee Jay Khan. ‘After months of deliberation, we have decided to stop all financial aid to the area.’
Burger aunties and uncles alike breathed a collective sigh of relief after the decision was taken. ‘We should also stop helping out North Karachi and Nazimabad.
We gave them Nando’s. Is this how they repay us? By snatching our mobile phones?’
FM91 and FM89 have also been told to stop broadcasting in the area as a punishment. ‘We will make sure they can’t listen to Jazz and Funk and all the other sh**,’ said the ambassador. ‘And this is also payback for FM107.’
There is already a plan to ban all cars smaller than a Toyota Corolla to enter Defence. This was further emphasized by the ambassador who said, 'Our Khaibans don't deserve these small and puny little cars. They are super lame.'
Furthermore, there have been reports of plans to build a wall to separate the burger and non-burger areas of Karachi. Upon hearing about this the regional Biker Boys Associations of Gulshan, Jauhar and North Karachi have all already started to device plans to storm the Sea View area in the middle of the night.