Tariq Masood, Muneeb Ur Rehamn at Pakistan Navy Ship Tipu Sultan

[MastanKhan]

Marrying 4 wives is order of Islam and you just proved my point you have no proof against them you just want them to teach Islam which suits you sorry to tell you but not going to happen

Hi,

it is not an order of Islam.

 

[Jf Thunder]

Marrying 4 wives is part of Islam and ALLAH has given permission, and you just proved my point you have no proof against them you just want them to teach Islam which suits you sorry to tell you but not going to happen

let us examine the Quran, shall we?
the Ayat you are referring to is:

“And if you fear that you may not be just to the orphans, then you may marry whom you please of the women: two, and three, and four. But if you fear you will not be fair, then only one, or what your right hand possesses. This is best that you do not face financial hardship.” 4:3

Now let us read this in conjunction with another Ayat from the Quran

“You will not be able to treat all women equally even if you wish to do so.” 4:129


so Allah says, that you can marry four provided you can maintain balance, but just a little farther, Allah says that you will not be able to maintain balance.
Now only that person will advocate multiple marriages who thinks that he knows more than Allah Almighty, Naozubillah


but I know you wont be accepting the Quranic ayats and will come up with something to reject them

 

[Champion_Usmani]

I know the context Janab. And next time ask an engineer to be Doctor also and also also an Doctor to be economist also and than other things. Janab What you need to is 12th standard ed education should be same and after that Madrassa education should start. Madrassas already have started doing with Matric now time to take it to 12 standard

Agreed...

 

[War Thunder]

Who are these people?

 

[Zarvan]

let us examine the Quran, shall we?
the Ayat you are referring to is:

“And if you fear that you may not be just to the orphans, then you may marry whom you please of the women: two, and three, and four. But if you fear you will not be fair, then only one, or what your right hand possesses. This is best that you do not face financial hardship.” 4:3

Now let us read this in conjunction with another Ayat from the Quran

“You will not be able to treat all women equally even if you wish to do so.” 4:129


so Allah says, that you can marry four provided you can maintain balance, but just a little farther, Allah says that you will not be able to maintain balance.
Now only that person will advocate multiple marriages who thinks that he knows more than Allah Almighty, Naozubillah


but I know you wont be accepting the Quranic ayats and will come up with something to reject them

If you can't understand ayat than it's your problem not of Ulemas. Lady Sahaba understood Islam the best and guess what most had more than one wives and many of those when married 2nd time married a virgin so your understanding is wrong permission is totally relevant and their

 

[Jf Thunder]

If you can't understand ayat than it's your problem not of Ulemas. Lady Sahaba understood Islam the best and guess what most had more than one wives and many of those when married 2nd time married a virgin so your understanding is wrong permission is totally relevant and their

see, just like I said
you rejected clear Quranic ayats
ok

 

[Zarvan]

see, just like I said
you rejected clear Quranic ayats
ok

I didn't you are doing lady ALLAH has in crystal clear words given permission if you can't understand ayat get knowledge first don't try to think for second you know Islam better than great Sahabas.

 

[AfrazulMandal]

I didn't you are doing lady ALLAH has in crystal clear words given permission if you can't understand ayat get knowledge first don't try to think for second you know Islam better than great Sahabas.

The right hand possesses is applicable to female slaves, not wives.
We men are permitted to legally marry up to 4 wives.
There should not be any confusion in these matters.

 

[Zarvan]

The right hand possesses is applicable to female slaves, not wives.
We men are permitted to legally marry up to 4 wives.
There should not be any confusion in these matters.

I am not confused @JFThunder is

The translation of the verse is as follows:

If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with them), then (marry) only one…. (Qur’an 4:3)

From this verse a number of facts are evident:

1. That polygamy is neither mandatory, nor encouraged, but merely permitted.
2. That the permission to practice polygamy is not associated with mere satisfaction of passion. It is rather associated with compassion toward widows and orphans, a matter that is confirmed by the atmosphere in which the verse was revealed.
3. That even in such a situation, the permission is far more restricted than the normal practice which existed among the Arabs and other people at that time when many married as many as ten or more wives.
4. That dealing justly with one’s wives is an obligation. This applies to housing, food, clothing, kind treatment. etc., for which the husband is fully responsible. If one is not sure of being able to deal justly with them, the Quran say: “then(marry) only one.” (Qur’an 4:3)

This verse, when combined with another verse in the same chapter, shows some discouragement of such plural marriages. The other verse plainly states:

“You are never able to be fair and just as between women even if it is your ardent desire…” (Qur’an 4: 129)

The requirement of justice rules out the fantasy that man can “own as any as he pleases.” It also rules out the concept of “secondary wife,” for all wives have exactly the same status and are entitled to identical rights and claims over their husband. It also implies, according to the Islamic Law, that should the husband fail to provide enough support for any of his wives, she can go to the court and ask for a divorce.

1. The verse says “Marry,” not kidnap, buy, or seduce. What is “marriage” as understood in Islam? Marriage in Islam is a civil contract which is not valid unless both contracting parties consent to it. Thus no wife can be forced or “given” to a husband who is already married.

I is thus a free choice of both parties. As to the first wife:

1. She may be barren or ill and see in polygamy a better solution than divorce.
2. She may divorce him (unilaterally) if he is married to a second wife provided that the nuptial contract gives her the right of unilateral divorce (Ismah).
3. She can go to court and ask for a divorce if there is evidence of mistreatment or injustice inflicted upon her.

But if polygamy is discouraged and loaded with such constraints, could it have been better if the Quran simply forbade it? To answer this question, we may have to raise another one:

4. CAN POLYGAMY BE A BETTER SOLUTION IN SOME CASES?

Scholars in the past and at present, Muslims and non-Muslims, have consistently pointed out such cases. The following are a few examples which are tied in with the general approach of Islam to individual and social problems.

1. Individual cases:

1. A man who discovers that his wife is barren, and who at the same time instinctively aspires to have children and heirs.

In a situation as this, the man would either have to:

-Suffer the deprivation of fatherhood for life.

-Divorce his barren wife and get married to another woman who is not barren.

In many cases, neither solution can be considered as the best alternative. Polygamy would have the advantage of preserving the martial relationship without depriving the man of fathering children of his own.



2. A man whose wife becomes chronically ill would have one of possible alternatives:

-He may suppress his instinctive sexual needs for the rest of his life.

-He may divorce his sick wife at the time when she needs his compassion most, and get married to another woman, thus legally satisfying his instinctive needs.



-Or he could compromise by keeping his sick wife, and secretly take for himself one or more illicit sex partners.

Let us discuss these alternatives from the point of view of the Islamic teachings. The first solution is against human nature. Islam recognizes sex and sexual needs and provides for legitimate means for their satisfaction. The second solution is clearly less compassionate, especially where there is love between the two parties. Further more divorce is described by Prophet Muhammad (P) as the “permitted thing which is hated most by God.” The last solution is plainly against the Islamic teachings which forbid illicit sexual relations in any form.



To sum up, Islam being against immorality, hypocritical pretense of morality, and against divorce unless no better solution is available, provides for a better alternative which is consistent with human nature and with the preservation of pure and legitimate sex relationships. In a situation like this, it is doubtful that any solution would be better than polygamy, which is, after all, an optional solution.

b. Social cases

1. Anthropologists tell us that among various tribes and societies, polygamy is a social and economic necessity. In some very poor areas, the infant morality is very high. Children on the other hand, are a source of additional labour for the earning capacity of the family. To have more children under such situations would require the practice of polygamy. It is by this very reason Christian missionaries in some African regions justified their permission to local people to practice polygamy without being excommunicated from the church. One researcher has even found, through his studies that women in such societies not only accept polygamy, but some of them even prefer this. (See for example Campbell, D., In the Heart of the Bantuland, Seeley, service and Co.,Ltd., London, 1922, p. 160, and Cory H., Sukuma Law and Customs, Oxford University Press, N.Y., 1953, p.52.)
2. Aside from cases where women outnumber men, devastating wars, in the past and at present, have taken their roll mainly among men. The result is not simply more women who cannot find husbands, but even more widows who may aspire to a respectable family life. In such a situation, if polygamy is bad, the limitation on polygamy is even far worse.

Both unmarried women and widows are human beings. Unless their instinctive needs are legitimately satisfied, the temptation is great for corruption and immorality. But aside from the moral question these women are also exploited. They are used as tools for men’s pleasure, yet have no guarantees, no rights or security, financial or emotional. Should they become pregnant, it is their burden alone. But even if such women are ready to pay the price for this personally, society also suffers seriously from such situations. The increasing number of illegitimate children born today under conditions such as these provides a potential base for tomorrow’s maladjusted and even criminals. Further more it is inhuman, humiliating for those children to grow up without knowing who their fathers were and without enjoying a lean and normal family life.

One question remain:

5. WHY NOT POLYANDRY (PLURALITY OF HUSBANDS FOR THE SAME WOMAN)?

It is evident that the nature of women is physiologically and psychologically different from that of men. Psychologically speaking, the woman is monogamous by her very nature. Furthermore, in all cultures, new and old, the headship of the family, is normally man’s. One can imagine what would happen if the family had two or more heads. Furthermore, if the woman is married to more than one husband, which would be the father of her children?

CONCLUSION
It is now evident that the association of “polygamy” with Islam is not only unfair or biased but based on serious misunderstanding. Polygamy was practiced, often without limitation, in almost all cultures. It was sanctioned by various religions, and practiced both before Islam and for many centuries thereafter. It is presently practiced, though secretly, by the Mormons, (It is estimated that is Utah alone over 30,000 middle-class Mormon Americans secretly cling to the practice of plural marriage. The Mormon church accepted the principal of Plural Marriage as a revelation from God. It was widely adopted after Brigham Young led the Mormons into their “Promised Land”—the Territory of Utah, in 1847. In 1890, however, after polygamy was outlawed a Federal statue, Church funds and property were confiscated. This apparently led the Church to issue a manifesto banning plural marriage. Church President Wilford Woodruff later declared the manifesto had been divinely inspired. For a first-hand report on the practice of polygamy in the U.S.A. as late as 1967, see Ben Merson, “Husband with More than on Wife.” In Journal, June 1967,esp. p. 78) and it is allowed by Christian missionaries in Africa and other areas where polygamy is a social necessity.

It is both honest and accurate to say that it is Islam which regulated this practice, limited it, made it more humane, and insisted equal rights and status for all wives. What the Qur’anic decrees amount to, taken together, is a discouragement of polygamy unless necessity for it exists.



It is also evident that the general rule in Islam is monogamy and not polygamy. However, permission to practice limited polygamy is only consistent with Islam’s realistic view of the nature of man and woman and of the various social needs, problems, and culture variations.



The question is, however, far more than the inherent flexibility of Islam; it also is the frank and straightforward approach of Islam in dealing with practical problems. Rather than requiring hypocritical and superficial compliance, Islam delves deeper into the problems of individuals and societies, and provides for legitimate and clean solutions which are far more beneficial than would be the case if they were ignored. There is no doubt that the second wife legally married and treated kindly is better off than a mistress without any legal rights or security. There is no doubt also that the legitimate child of a polygamous father, born in the “full light of the day”, and who enjoys all the rights and privileges of a son or daughter, is far better off than the wanted or unwanted illegitimate child (especially if it is a girl).



It is fair also to say the polygamy may be harmful in many respects. Islam, however, does not regard polygamy as a substitute for monogamy. Realizing its disadvantages Islam allows it under strict conditions and when no better alternative is available. This is actually consistent with a general rule in Islamic Law, “The Lesser of two evils.” This means that if a harm is certain, and if there is no way to avert such harm unless some other harm is done, then it is better to cause the lesser harm in order to avoid the greater. It is like a captain who gets rid of the ship’s freight in order to save the lives of the sailors.



The vitality, flexibility, and far-sightedness of the teachings of Islam cannot possibly be attributed to any man or group of men, including Prophet Muhammad (P) himself. Its secret simply lies in its Divine Source, God Most high, who knows in entirety what human needs and problems are.



Man can reject the guidance of God, become his own god, and establish his own standards of morality. Ultimately, however, he may discover the mirage that alluded him. A few honest questions finally: What is the situation in countries which banned polygamy? Do they really enjoy sincere and faithful “monogamy?” What is the degree of cohesion of the family? Is there any significant number of mistresses, “Sweethearts”, and illegitimate children? How observant are married men and women of the strict “monogamous” relationship? Are infidelity and secret extramarital sexual relationships more moral than the legitimate, legally-protected husband-wife relationships, even under polygamy if there is a pressing need for it? Which of the two situations is best?

After all, Islam by its very nature, is a universal religion which is revealed by God guide people in all places and at all times.

The guidance can hardly be secured by avoiding issues and problems, which are real, even as they are relevant to human life on earth with its diversity. Hypocrisy, apology, or burying one’s head in the sand are hardly realistic means of achieving righteous human life. They are not effective in achieving moral upliftment either!

 

[AfrazulMandal]

I am not confused @JFThunder is

The translation of the verse is as follows:

If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with them), then (marry) only one…. (Qur’an 4:3)

From this verse a number of facts are evident:

1. That polygamy is neither mandatory, nor encouraged, but merely permitted.
2. That the permission to practice polygamy is not associated with mere satisfaction of passion. It is rather associated with compassion toward widows and orphans, a matter that is confirmed by the atmosphere in which the verse was revealed.
3. That even in such a situation, the permission is far more restricted than the normal practice which existed among the Arabs and other people at that time when many married as many as ten or more wives.
4. That dealing justly with one’s wives is an obligation. This applies to housing, food, clothing, kind treatment. etc., for which the husband is fully responsible. If one is not sure of being able to deal justly with them, the Quran say: “then(marry) only one.” (Qur’an 4:3)

This verse, when combined with another verse in the same chapter, shows some discouragement of such plural marriages. The other verse plainly states:

“You are never able to be fair and just as between women even if it is your ardent desire…” (Qur’an 4: 129)

The requirement of justice rules out the fantasy that man can “own as any as he pleases.” It also rules out the concept of “secondary wife,” for all wives have exactly the same status and are entitled to identical rights and claims over their husband. It also implies, according to the Islamic Law, that should the husband fail to provide enough support for any of his wives, she can go to the court and ask for a divorce.

1. The verse says “Marry,” not kidnap, buy, or seduce. What is “marriage” as understood in Islam? Marriage in Islam is a civil contract which is not valid unless both contracting parties consent to it. Thus no wife can be forced or “given” to a husband who is already married.

I is thus a free choice of both parties. As to the first wife:

1. She may be barren or ill and see in polygamy a better solution than divorce.
2. She may divorce him (unilaterally) if he is married to a second wife provided that the nuptial contract gives her the right of unilateral divorce (Ismah).
3. She can go to court and ask for a divorce if there is evidence of mistreatment or injustice inflicted upon her.

But if polygamy is discouraged and loaded with such constraints, could it have been better if the Quran simply forbade it? To answer this question, we may have to raise another one:

4. CAN POLYGAMY BE A BETTER SOLUTION IN SOME CASES?

Scholars in the past and at present, Muslims and non-Muslims, have consistently pointed out such cases. The following are a few examples which are tied in with the general approach of Islam to individual and social problems.

1. Individual cases:

1. A man who discovers that his wife is barren, and who at the same time instinctively aspires to have children and heirs.

In a situation as this, the man would either have to:

-Suffer the deprivation of fatherhood for life.

-Divorce his barren wife and get married to another woman who is not barren.

In many cases, neither solution can be considered as the best alternative. Polygamy would have the advantage of preserving the martial relationship without depriving the man of fathering children of his own.



2. A man whose wife becomes chronically ill would have one of possible alternatives:

-He may suppress his instinctive sexual needs for the rest of his life.

-He may divorce his sick wife at the time when she needs his compassion most, and get married to another woman, thus legally satisfying his instinctive needs.



-Or he could compromise by keeping his sick wife, and secretly take for himself one or more illicit sex partners.

Let us discuss these alternatives from the point of view of the Islamic teachings. The first solution is against human nature. Islam recognizes sex and sexual needs and provides for legitimate means for their satisfaction. The second solution is clearly less compassionate, especially where there is love between the two parties. Further more divorce is described by Prophet Muhammad (P) as the “permitted thing which is hated most by God.” The last solution is plainly against the Islamic teachings which forbid illicit sexual relations in any form.



To sum up, Islam being against immorality, hypocritical pretense of morality, and against divorce unless no better solution is available, provides for a better alternative which is consistent with human nature and with the preservation of pure and legitimate sex relationships. In a situation like this, it is doubtful that any solution would be better than polygamy, which is, after all, an optional solution.

b. Social cases

1. Anthropologists tell us that among various tribes and societies, polygamy is a social and economic necessity. In some very poor areas, the infant morality is very high. Children on the other hand, are a source of additional labour for the earning capacity of the family. To have more children under such situations would require the practice of polygamy. It is by this very reason Christian missionaries in some African regions justified their permission to local people to practice polygamy without being excommunicated from the church. One researcher has even found, through his studies that women in such societies not only accept polygamy, but some of them even prefer this. (See for example Campbell, D., In the Heart of the Bantuland, Seeley, service and Co.,Ltd., London, 1922, p. 160, and Cory H., Sukuma Law and Customs, Oxford University Press, N.Y., 1953, p.52.)
2. Aside from cases where women outnumber men, devastating wars, in the past and at present, have taken their roll mainly among men. The result is not simply more women who cannot find husbands, but even more widows who may aspire to a respectable family life. In such a situation, if polygamy is bad, the limitation on polygamy is even far worse.

Both unmarried women and widows are human beings. Unless their instinctive needs are legitimately satisfied, the temptation is great for corruption and immorality. But aside from the moral question these women are also exploited. They are used as tools for men’s pleasure, yet have no guarantees, no rights or security, financial or emotional. Should they become pregnant, it is their burden alone. But even if such women are ready to pay the price for this personally, society also suffers seriously from such situations. The increasing number of illegitimate children born today under conditions such as these provides a potential base for tomorrow’s maladjusted and even criminals. Further more it is inhuman, humiliating for those children to grow up without knowing who their fathers were and without enjoying a lean and normal family life.

One question remain:

5. WHY NOT POLYANDRY (PLURALITY OF HUSBANDS FOR THE SAME WOMAN)?

It is evident that the nature of women is physiologically and psychologically different from that of men. Psychologically speaking, the woman is monogamous by her very nature. Furthermore, in all cultures, new and old, the headship of the family, is normally man’s. One can imagine what would happen if the family had two or more heads. Furthermore, if the woman is married to more than one husband, which would be the father of her children?

CONCLUSION
It is now evident that the association of “polygamy” with Islam is not only unfair or biased but based on serious misunderstanding. Polygamy was practiced, often without limitation, in almost all cultures. It was sanctioned by various religions, and practiced both before Islam and for many centuries thereafter. It is presently practiced, though secretly, by the Mormons, (It is estimated that is Utah alone over 30,000 middle-class Mormon Americans secretly cling to the practice of plural marriage. The Mormon church accepted the principal of Plural Marriage as a revelation from God. It was widely adopted after Brigham Young led the Mormons into their “Promised Land”—the Territory of Utah, in 1847. In 1890, however, after polygamy was outlawed a Federal statue, Church funds and property were confiscated. This apparently led the Church to issue a manifesto banning plural marriage. Church President Wilford Woodruff later declared the manifesto had been divinely inspired. For a first-hand report on the practice of polygamy in the U.S.A. as late as 1967, see Ben Merson, “Husband with More than on Wife.” In Journal, June 1967,esp. p. 78) and it is allowed by Christian missionaries in Africa and other areas where polygamy is a social necessity.

It is both honest and accurate to say that it is Islam which regulated this practice, limited it, made it more humane, and insisted equal rights and status for all wives. What the Qur’anic decrees amount to, taken together, is a discouragement of polygamy unless necessity for it exists.



It is also evident that the general rule in Islam is monogamy and not polygamy. However, permission to practice limited polygamy is only consistent with Islam’s realistic view of the nature of man and woman and of the various social needs, problems, and culture variations.



The question is, however, far more than the inherent flexibility of Islam; it also is the frank and straightforward approach of Islam in dealing with practical problems. Rather than requiring hypocritical and superficial compliance, Islam delves deeper into the problems of individuals and societies, and provides for legitimate and clean solutions which are far more beneficial than would be the case if they were ignored. There is no doubt that the second wife legally married and treated kindly is better off than a mistress without any legal rights or security. There is no doubt also that the legitimate child of a polygamous father, born in the “full light of the day”, and who enjoys all the rights and privileges of a son or daughter, is far better off than the wanted or unwanted illegitimate child (especially if it is a girl).



It is fair also to say the polygamy may be harmful in many respects. Islam, however, does not regard polygamy as a substitute for monogamy. Realizing its disadvantages Islam allows it under strict conditions and when no better alternative is available. This is actually consistent with a general rule in Islamic Law, “The Lesser of two evils.” This means that if a harm is certain, and if there is no way to avert such harm unless some other harm is done, then it is better to cause the lesser harm in order to avoid the greater. It is like a captain who gets rid of the ship’s freight in order to save the lives of the sailors.



The vitality, flexibility, and far-sightedness of the teachings of Islam cannot possibly be attributed to any man or group of men, including Prophet Muhammad (P) himself. Its secret simply lies in its Divine Source, God Most high, who knows in entirety what human needs and problems are.



Man can reject the guidance of God, become his own god, and establish his own standards of morality. Ultimately, however, he may discover the mirage that alluded him. A few honest questions finally: What is the situation in countries which banned polygamy? Do they really enjoy sincere and faithful “monogamy?” What is the degree of cohesion of the family? Is there any significant number of mistresses, “Sweethearts”, and illegitimate children? How observant are married men and women of the strict “monogamous” relationship? Are infidelity and secret extramarital sexual relationships more moral than the legitimate, legally-protected husband-wife relationships, even under polygamy if there is a pressing need for it? Which of the two situations is best?

After all, Islam by its very nature, is a universal religion which is revealed by God guide people in all places and at all times.

The guidance can hardly be secured by avoiding issues and problems, which are real, even as they are relevant to human life on earth with its diversity. Hypocrisy, apology, or burying one’s head in the sand are hardly realistic means of achieving righteous human life. They are not effective in achieving moral upliftment either!

Good informed post.

There is no dispute.

What is the contrary position?

 

[Mitho1980]

Circumcision ceremony?

 

[AfrazulMandal]

Circumcision ceremony?

Islamophobe?

apparently my nafs in under my own control
the only religion they preach is of marrying four wives and other strange concepts

You can marry 4 women. But there is no compulsion.

 

[Mitho1980]

Nope ... But FRAUDophobe.......
Stop following these mullahs they will eventually guide u to hell?

 

[Jf Thunder]

You can marry 4 women. But there is no compulsion.

no I cant

I didn't you are doing lady ALLAH has in crystal clear words given permission if you can't understand ayat get knowledge first don't try to think for second you know Islam better than great Sahabas.

you yourself are rejecting the clear Ayats of Allah, that says that you wont be able to do Justice

I am not confused @JFThunder is

The translation of the verse is as follows:

If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with them), then (marry) only one…. (Qur’an 4:3)

From this verse a number of facts are evident:

1. That polygamy is neither mandatory, nor encouraged, but merely permitted.
2. That the permission to practice polygamy is not associated with mere satisfaction of passion. It is rather associated with compassion toward widows and orphans, a matter that is confirmed by the atmosphere in which the verse was revealed.
3. That even in such a situation, the permission is far more restricted than the normal practice which existed among the Arabs and other people at that time when many married as many as ten or more wives.
4. That dealing justly with one’s wives is an obligation. This applies to housing, food, clothing, kind treatment. etc., for which the husband is fully responsible. If one is not sure of being able to deal justly with them, the Quran say: “then(marry) only one.” (Qur’an 4:3)

This verse, when combined with another verse in the same chapter, shows some discouragement of such plural marriages. The other verse plainly states:

“You are never able to be fair and just as between women even if it is your ardent desire…” (Qur’an 4: 129)

The requirement of justice rules out the fantasy that man can “own as any as he pleases.” It also rules out the concept of “secondary wife,” for all wives have exactly the same status and are entitled to identical rights and claims over their husband. It also implies, according to the Islamic Law, that should the husband fail to provide enough support for any of his wives, she can go to the court and ask for a divorce.

1. The verse says “Marry,” not kidnap, buy, or seduce. What is “marriage” as understood in Islam? Marriage in Islam is a civil contract which is not valid unless both contracting parties consent to it. Thus no wife can be forced or “given” to a husband who is already married.

I is thus a free choice of both parties. As to the first wife:

1. She may be barren or ill and see in polygamy a better solution than divorce.
2. She may divorce him (unilaterally) if he is married to a second wife provided that the nuptial contract gives her the right of unilateral divorce (Ismah).
3. She can go to court and ask for a divorce if there is evidence of mistreatment or injustice inflicted upon her.

But if polygamy is discouraged and loaded with such constraints, could it have been better if the Quran simply forbade it? To answer this question, we may have to raise another one:

4. CAN POLYGAMY BE A BETTER SOLUTION IN SOME CASES?

Scholars in the past and at present, Muslims and non-Muslims, have consistently pointed out such cases. The following are a few examples which are tied in with the general approach of Islam to individual and social problems.

1. Individual cases:

1. A man who discovers that his wife is barren, and who at the same time instinctively aspires to have children and heirs.

In a situation as this, the man would either have to:

-Suffer the deprivation of fatherhood for life.

-Divorce his barren wife and get married to another woman who is not barren.

In many cases, neither solution can be considered as the best alternative. Polygamy would have the advantage of preserving the martial relationship without depriving the man of fathering children of his own.



2. A man whose wife becomes chronically ill would have one of possible alternatives:

-He may suppress his instinctive sexual needs for the rest of his life.

-He may divorce his sick wife at the time when she needs his compassion most, and get married to another woman, thus legally satisfying his instinctive needs.



-Or he could compromise by keeping his sick wife, and secretly take for himself one or more illicit sex partners.

Let us discuss these alternatives from the point of view of the Islamic teachings. The first solution is against human nature. Islam recognizes sex and sexual needs and provides for legitimate means for their satisfaction. The second solution is clearly less compassionate, especially where there is love between the two parties. Further more divorce is described by Prophet Muhammad (P) as the “permitted thing which is hated most by God.” The last solution is plainly against the Islamic teachings which forbid illicit sexual relations in any form.



To sum up, Islam being against immorality, hypocritical pretense of morality, and against divorce unless no better solution is available, provides for a better alternative which is consistent with human nature and with the preservation of pure and legitimate sex relationships. In a situation like this, it is doubtful that any solution would be better than polygamy, which is, after all, an optional solution.

b. Social cases

1. Anthropologists tell us that among various tribes and societies, polygamy is a social and economic necessity. In some very poor areas, the infant morality is very high. Children on the other hand, are a source of additional labour for the earning capacity of the family. To have more children under such situations would require the practice of polygamy. It is by this very reason Christian missionaries in some African regions justified their permission to local people to practice polygamy without being excommunicated from the church. One researcher has even found, through his studies that women in such societies not only accept polygamy, but some of them even prefer this. (See for example Campbell, D., In the Heart of the Bantuland, Seeley, service and Co.,Ltd., London, 1922, p. 160, and Cory H., Sukuma Law and Customs, Oxford University Press, N.Y., 1953, p.52.)
2. Aside from cases where women outnumber men, devastating wars, in the past and at present, have taken their roll mainly among men. The result is not simply more women who cannot find husbands, but even more widows who may aspire to a respectable family life. In such a situation, if polygamy is bad, the limitation on polygamy is even far worse.

Both unmarried women and widows are human beings. Unless their instinctive needs are legitimately satisfied, the temptation is great for corruption and immorality. But aside from the moral question these women are also exploited. They are used as tools for men’s pleasure, yet have no guarantees, no rights or security, financial or emotional. Should they become pregnant, it is their burden alone. But even if such women are ready to pay the price for this personally, society also suffers seriously from such situations. The increasing number of illegitimate children born today under conditions such as these provides a potential base for tomorrow’s maladjusted and even criminals. Further more it is inhuman, humiliating for those children to grow up without knowing who their fathers were and without enjoying a lean and normal family life.

One question remain:

5. WHY NOT POLYANDRY (PLURALITY OF HUSBANDS FOR THE SAME WOMAN)?

It is evident that the nature of women is physiologically and psychologically different from that of men. Psychologically speaking, the woman is monogamous by her very nature. Furthermore, in all cultures, new and old, the headship of the family, is normally man’s. One can imagine what would happen if the family had two or more heads. Furthermore, if the woman is married to more than one husband, which would be the father of her children?

CONCLUSION
It is now evident that the association of “polygamy” with Islam is not only unfair or biased but based on serious misunderstanding. Polygamy was practiced, often without limitation, in almost all cultures. It was sanctioned by various religions, and practiced both before Islam and for many centuries thereafter. It is presently practiced, though secretly, by the Mormons, (It is estimated that is Utah alone over 30,000 middle-class Mormon Americans secretly cling to the practice of plural marriage. The Mormon church accepted the principal of Plural Marriage as a revelation from God. It was widely adopted after Brigham Young led the Mormons into their “Promised Land”—the Territory of Utah, in 1847. In 1890, however, after polygamy was outlawed a Federal statue, Church funds and property were confiscated. This apparently led the Church to issue a manifesto banning plural marriage. Church President Wilford Woodruff later declared the manifesto had been divinely inspired. For a first-hand report on the practice of polygamy in the U.S.A. as late as 1967, see Ben Merson, “Husband with More than on Wife.” In Journal, June 1967,esp. p. 78) and it is allowed by Christian missionaries in Africa and other areas where polygamy is a social necessity.

It is both honest and accurate to say that it is Islam which regulated this practice, limited it, made it more humane, and insisted equal rights and status for all wives. What the Qur’anic decrees amount to, taken together, is a discouragement of polygamy unless necessity for it exists.



It is also evident that the general rule in Islam is monogamy and not polygamy. However, permission to practice limited polygamy is only consistent with Islam’s realistic view of the nature of man and woman and of the various social needs, problems, and culture variations.



The question is, however, far more than the inherent flexibility of Islam; it also is the frank and straightforward approach of Islam in dealing with practical problems. Rather than requiring hypocritical and superficial compliance, Islam delves deeper into the problems of individuals and societies, and provides for legitimate and clean solutions which are far more beneficial than would be the case if they were ignored. There is no doubt that the second wife legally married and treated kindly is better off than a mistress without any legal rights or security. There is no doubt also that the legitimate child of a polygamous father, born in the “full light of the day”, and who enjoys all the rights and privileges of a son or daughter, is far better off than the wanted or unwanted illegitimate child (especially if it is a girl).



It is fair also to say the polygamy may be harmful in many respects. Islam, however, does not regard polygamy as a substitute for monogamy. Realizing its disadvantages Islam allows it under strict conditions and when no better alternative is available. This is actually consistent with a general rule in Islamic Law, “The Lesser of two evils.” This means that if a harm is certain, and if there is no way to avert such harm unless some other harm is done, then it is better to cause the lesser harm in order to avoid the greater. It is like a captain who gets rid of the ship’s freight in order to save the lives of the sailors.



The vitality, flexibility, and far-sightedness of the teachings of Islam cannot possibly be attributed to any man or group of men, including Prophet Muhammad (P) himself. Its secret simply lies in its Divine Source, God Most high, who knows in entirety what human needs and problems are.



Man can reject the guidance of God, become his own god, and establish his own standards of morality. Ultimately, however, he may discover the mirage that alluded him. A few honest questions finally: What is the situation in countries which banned polygamy? Do they really enjoy sincere and faithful “monogamy?” What is the degree of cohesion of the family? Is there any significant number of mistresses, “Sweethearts”, and illegitimate children? How observant are married men and women of the strict “monogamous” relationship? Are infidelity and secret extramarital sexual relationships more moral than the legitimate, legally-protected husband-wife relationships, even under polygamy if there is a pressing need for it? Which of the two situations is best?

After all, Islam by its very nature, is a universal religion which is revealed by God guide people in all places and at all times.

The guidance can hardly be secured by avoiding issues and problems, which are real, even as they are relevant to human life on earth with its diversity. Hypocrisy, apology, or burying one’s head in the sand are hardly realistic means of achieving righteous human life. They are not effective in achieving moral upliftment either!

After reading this damn long post, I concluded the following:

Polygamy is advantageous when :
1)First Wife is barren
2)She is extremely ill

is that the gist of it?

 

[Mitho1980]

How many of us preaching polygamy would like soootans for their sisters App 4 karo theek bother in law dosri ka sochae tou sara khandan sar par