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Stupid & Funny from Around the World :Continued

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An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h in 30,000 feet, when suddenly a Eurofighter with Tempo Mach 2 appears.
The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio: "Airbus flight, boring flight isn’t it? Take care and have a look here!”
He rolls his jet on its back, accelerates, breaks through the sound barrier, rises rapidly to a dizzying height, only to swoop down almost to sea level in a breathtaking dive. He loops back next to the Airbus and asks, "Well, how was that?"
The Airbus pilot answers: "Very impressive, but now have a look here!"
The jet pilot watches the Airbus, but nothing happens. It continues to fly stubbornly straight, with the same speed. After five minutes, the Airbus pilot radioed, "Well, what are you saying now?"
The jet pilot asks confused: "What did you do?" The other laughs and says, "I got up, stretched my legs, went to the back of the flight to the bathroom, got a cup of coffee and a cinnamon cake.
The moral of the story is:
When you are young, speed and adrenaline seems to be great. But as you get older and wiser, comfort and peace are not to be despised either.
This is called S.O.S.: Slower, Older, Smarter.

I believe the original version of the joke has a pretty little stewardess play a role too. :D
 
Babar Azam ain’t shit, tweets US Embassy in latest gaffe

by The Dependent


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ISLAMABAD: The official Twitter handle of the United States Embassy in Islamabad Thursday tweeted a message widely interpreted as straightforward, but also believed to be encrypted, as it said, “Babar Azam ain’t shit.” The development comes after the US Embassy retweeted a tweet drawing parallels between the ouster of Donald Trump with a similarly anticipated departure of Pakistan’s current leader.
The US Embassy has apologised for the retweet, prompting Foreign Minister Shah Mehmood Qureshi to declare the ruling Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf a ‘superpower’ and the first Pakistani government to extract an unconditional apology from American officials. It remains to be seen whether the US Embassy retracts its claim that ‘Babar Azam ain’t shit’.
Diplomatic experts dub these developments evidence of the growing schism between the US and Pakistan, which has clearly chosen to side with China in the ongoing cold war between Beijing and Washington.
“By bringing Babar Azam into the diplomatic trash-talk, the US is clearly targeting Pakistan’s valuable assets, which Washington still fears could land in the wrong hands,” notes Michael Kugelman, Senior Associate for South Asia at the Woodrow Wilson Centre.
The timing of the tweet is also drawing scepticism among security analysts, given that Babar Azam was this week announced as the national team’s captain for all three formats.
The Pakistani skipper is also on the back of ODI and T20I series wins against Zimbabwe, the latter seeing second-placed Babar Azam close the gap to David Malan at the top of the batting rankings, as the all-format captain remains the only batsman to feature in the top five rankings of all three formats.
“Babar Azam is a joint Pakistan-China venture and a leading project of CPEC. An attack on Babar Azam is an attack on CPEC, which is an attack on Pakistan’s sovereignty,” maintains leading security analyst and China expert Javed Miandad.

New superpower PTI first Pakistan govt to get US officials to issue unconditional apology: Qureshi

by The Dependent


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ISLAMABAD: The United States Embassy in Islamabad apologising for sharing an “unauthorised” tweet is the latest evidence that the Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf (PTI) is now the undisputed superpower of the region, if not the world, according to Foreign Minister Shah Mehmood Qureshi.
In an exclusive interview with The Dependent, Qureshi said that the PTI led government is the first to get US officials to issue an unconditional apology.
“Begging, trembling, jostling for mercy,” began the foreign minister speaking of the US Embassy’s apology.
“Just pick up the keywords from the apology, ‘retweet’, ‘confusion’, ‘accessed… without authorization’ – just look at them and you’ll notice how they are baffled and bamboozled, and seem to be scribing in line with the Tweet Retraction 101 course that we teach our interns at Aabpara,” he added.
Qureshi reiterated that not only was this apology a sign that PTI is the ‘new superpower’, it also underlines an unparalleled achievement.
“This is an unprecedented unconditional apology issued by US officials to Pakistan. None of the ‘sorry for the losses suffered’ b**lsh*t after Salala. Clear and straightforward ‘we apologize’,” Qureshi added.
When asked if ‘we apologize for the confusion’ sort of pales what otherwise is the greatest warring triumph of the 21st century, Qureshi replied in the negative.
“Oh, you wait till the Joe Biden regime gets a glimpse of the confusion we have in store for them along the Af-Pak border.”

Confrontational PM calls ISPR findings “a comedy”

by The Dependent


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Civil-military tensions again flared up in the country when Prime Minister Imran Khan openly called the findings of a military enquiry into an incident in a Karachi last month as “a comedy.”
“I think it is a comedy,” he said while answering a question by anchor Sabir Shakir on ARY about the kidnapping of the Sindh IGP. “I cannot even understand it.”
The statement has come just weeks before the ISPR issued a press release saying that the IGP was, indeed, kidnapped by “overzealous” officers who were responding to public pressure.
Experts predict that this confrontation is going to be lead to an absolute impasse in the coming week.
“Both sides are adamant and are digging in their heels,” said Mosharraf Zaidi, an Islamabad-based political analyst, railways, education, aviation and solid waste management expert.
“The PM shouldn’t have said that the findings are a comedy, but, yes, should dispute the fact that any of our officers are unprofessionally overzealous, but still not contradict the report because the internal accountability mechanism of the army is infallible, except when it is calling our brave officers unprofessional, which they are not, except when….” said an exhausted Zaidi before collapsing as a result of a nervous breakdown.


 

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