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Stupid and Funny from all over the world

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photoshoped but still nice if ever done in reality.

world water sking speed record 156mph stall speed of a f-18 arround 120, perhaps it might be possible but you would probably cook the skier.
 
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hahahahahahaahhahaha well done friends amazing work from you
 
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Azam Tariq might have been rotten down to his bones in his grave... but he's still alive & well in some news media of US...

This channel says Azam Tariq (& shows his photo) took responsibility for NATO oil tankers attack... :woot: Didn't I tell ya ghosts exist...
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N.& S. Waziristanis have become so sophisticated that their softwares can identify Europeans...:rofl: ooorrrr... probably he's saying that CIA used softwares that locate Europeans in Trabal-Pakistan & target them...!!!
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I am just speechless

 
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"Squawks" are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight. Here are some squawks submitted by Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.

(P) = Problem (S) = Solution

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(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement

(S) Almost replaced left inside main tire
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(P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough

(S) Autoland NOT installed on this aircraft
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(P) #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid

(S) #2 Propeller seepage normal - #1 #3 and #4 propellers lack normal seepage
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(P) Something loose in cockpit

(S) Something tightened in cockpit
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(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear

(S) Evidence removed
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(P) DME (Distance Measuring Equipment) volume unbelievably loud

(S) Volume set to more believable level
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(P) Dead bugs on windshield

(S) Live bugs on order
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(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm (feet per minute) descent

(S) Cannot reproduce problem on ground
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(P) IFF inoperative

(S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode
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(P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick

(S) That's what they're there for
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(P) Number three engine missing

(S) Engine found on right wing after brief search
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(P) Aircraft handles funny

(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right" and be serious
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(P) Target Radar hums

(S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the lyrics
 
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Speeding Ticket
Kingsville, TX



Two Texas Highway Patrol Officers were conducting speeding enforcement on Hwy 77, just south of Kingsville, TX.

One of the officers was using a hand held radar device to check speeding vehicles approaching the town of Kingsville. The officers were suddenly surprised when the radar gun began reading 300 miles per hour and climbing.


The officer attempted to reset the radar gun, but it would not reset and then it suddenly turned off.

Just then a deafening roar over the Mesquite treetops on Hwy 77 revealed that the radar had in fact locked on to aUSMC F/A-18 Hornet which was engaged in a low flying exercise near this, it's Naval Air home base location in Kingsville, TX.

Back at the Texas Highway Patrol Headquarters in Corpus Christi the Patrol Captain fired off a complaint to theU.S. Naval Base Commander in Kingsville for shutting down his equipment.


The reply came back in true USMC style:

'Thank you for your letter ...

You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Hornet had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked on to, your hostile radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it, which is why it shut down.

Furthermore, an Air-to-Ground missile aboard the fully armed aircraft had also automatically locked on to your equipment's location.

Fortunately, the Marine Pilot flying the Hornet recognized the situation for what it was, quickly responded to the missile system alert status and was able to override the automated defense system before the missile was launched to destroy the hostile radar position on the side of Hwy 77 So. of Kingsville.

The pilot suggests you cover your mouths when cussing at them, since the video systems on these jets are very high tech.

Sergeant Johnson, the officer holding the radar gun, should get his dentist to check his left rear molar. It appears the filling is loose. Also, the snap is broken on his holster.'
 
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