An old man and his wife went to bed. After lying there for a few minutes the man farts and says, "Goal."
His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?" The man replies, "It's fart football. I just scored."
A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says, "Score tied."
After about five minutes the old man farts again and says, "Goal, I'm ahead 2 to 1."
Not to be outdone, the wife rips another one and says, "Goal, score tied."
Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says, "Penalty! I lead 3-2."
Now the pressure's on and the old man refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard but to no avail.
He gives it everything, but instead of farting, he poops in bed.
The wife looks and says, "What was that?"
The man replies, "Half-time, switch sides."