Stupid and funny from all over the world - II

[Imran Khan]

 

[AHMED85]

Lion need not to clean its mouth...

 

[Imran Khan]

 

[Imran Khan]

 

[chauvunist]

 

[Leader]

ah... we all experience that...

 

[soul hacker]

at last some memes found on Earth

 

[Imran Khan]

suna hai RAW phone tape kerti hai is liye main jab bhi GURU DUTT se phone per baat kerta hoon ISI - LASKER E TAIBA - ATANG WADI -PAKISTAN -ISLAMABAD - zaroor use kerta hoon

 

[RPK]

 

[Bas_tum_Pak]

This is Reality ...

 

[void_0in]

India Pakistan to work out a joint scam to boost bilateral ties

India and Pakistan would soon carry out a joint scam and loot millions of dollars from their respective national treasuries to boost bilateral ties. Governments on both sides of the border believe that such a step would improve people-to-people contact across the border at “no extra cost”.

“Scams would anyway happen, right?” a spokesman in the Indian Ministry of External Affairs argued why there were no additional costs involved, “Currently they are somewhat bringing all the Indians together who feel cheated by the loot. We believe that if both the countries carry out a joint loot, it might bring many Indians and Pakistanis together as well.”
Manmohan Singh and Asif Ali Zardari

Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari was reportedly too excited and wanted to start the joint exercise in corruption as soon as possible, even as the Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh waited for approval from the high command

Officials from Pakistan too have confirmed that their country was eagerly looking forward to such a joint scam, which could work far better than Indian and Pakistani artists performing together at music and cultural concerts.

“All these Ghazal nights and tabla jugalbandi is fine, but at the end of the day it doesn’t achieve anything political,” said the Pakistani Foreign Ministry official, “Some private media companies end up making money in name of promoting peace, so we thought it was high time we government guys made some money as well from peace initiatives.”

Officials claimed that apart from the formal diplomatic initiatives between the two countries, attempts such as Cricket diplomacy and other forms of Track II diplomacy, such as Sania Mirza and Veena Malik initiatives, had failed to improve Indo-Pak ties, and hence the only option left was to try “scam diplomacy”.

Experts in both countries have largely welcomed the move, and have hoped that the citizens of both the countries would benefit from it. Scamsters on both sides of border too are very happy.

“I was a bit concerned when they were talking about importing onions into India when I was selling them at 80 rupees per kilo,” Sharad Prasad, a hoarder and black marketer said, “Now we can cooperate with our brothers in Pakistan and make sure the prices never come down.”

Sources indicate both the governments have also planned to blame each other for the “domestic scams” if the joint scam brings the people too close to each other, thus threatening “regional stability”.

“Just imagine Lashkar taking responsibility for the 2G scam,” an official in the telecom ministry said.

 

[SQ8]

India Pakistan to work out a joint scam to boost bilateral ties

India and Pakistan would soon carry out a joint scam and loot millions of dollars from their respective national treasuries to boost bilateral ties. Governments on both sides of the border believe that such a step would improve people-to-people contact across the border at “no extra cost”.

“Scams would anyway happen, right?” a spokesman in the Indian Ministry of External Affairs argued why there were no additional costs involved, “Currently they are somewhat bringing all the Indians together who feel cheated by the loot. We believe that if both the countries carry out a joint loot, it might bring many Indians and Pakistanis together as well.”
Manmohan Singh and Asif Ali Zardari

Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari was reportedly too excited and wanted to start the joint exercise in corruption as soon as possible, even as the Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh waited for approval from the high command

Officials from Pakistan too have confirmed that their country was eagerly looking forward to such a joint scam, which could work far better than Indian and Pakistani artists performing together at music and cultural concerts.

“All these Ghazal nights and tabla jugalbandi is fine, but at the end of the day it doesn’t achieve anything political,” said the Pakistani Foreign Ministry official, “Some private media companies end up making money in name of promoting peace, so we thought it was high time we government guys made some money as well from peace initiatives.”

Officials claimed that apart from the formal diplomatic initiatives between the two countries, attempts such as Cricket diplomacy and other forms of Track II diplomacy, such as Sania Mirza and Veena Malik initiatives, had failed to improve Indo-Pak ties, and hence the only option left was to try “scam diplomacy”.

Experts in both countries have largely welcomed the move, and have hoped that the citizens of both the countries would benefit from it. Scamsters on both sides of border too are very happy.

“I was a bit concerned when they were talking about importing onions into India when I was selling them at 80 rupees per kilo,” Sharad Prasad, a hoarder and black marketer said, “Now we can cooperate with our brothers in Pakistan and make sure the prices never come down.”

Sources indicate both the governments have also planned to blame each other for the “domestic scams” if the joint scam brings the people too close to each other, thus threatening “regional stability”.

“Just imagine Lashkar taking responsibility for the 2G scam,” an official in the telecom ministry said.

You forgot to include the Army of Pakistan in this.

 

[Firemaster]

suna hai RAW phone tape kerti hai is liye main jab bhi GURU DUTT se phone per baat kerta hoon ISI - LASKER E TAIBA - ATANG WADI -PAKISTAN -ISLAMABAD - zaroor use kerta hoon

Esey dosto ke rehte Guru ko dushmano ki kya jarurat

 

[void_0in]

US apologizes for the next unilateral action on Pakistani soil

Washington, DC. After facing strong criticism from the government and the civil society of Pakistan for its unilateral military action on Pakistani soil to kill Osama, US has apologized for any such step that it may take in future to target those whom it consider terrorists.

“Frankly we had no idea that it was a unilateral action,” John Brennan, a top White House official said, “It was just like any other of those drone attacks, which we used to carry out if and when we had some random intelligence. Yeah, there were some differences arising out of unforeseen reasons this time.”

The official conceded that Pakistani military or establishment was not involved or informed about the anti-Osama operation, but clarified that US didn’t do that on purpose.
US drone

A file photo showing a US army personnel unilaterally preparing for a drone attack

“Earlier we used to send SMS to the Pakistani army officials about our planned drone attacks, and used to launch the drones the moment we got the delivery report on our handsets,” John revealed, “This time there seemed to be some network problem as we got the delivery report after 12 hours.”

The official pointed out that even the radar system of Pakistani army was not working that day.

“It was some technical snag for sure, no malicious intents on our side,” he claimed.

“But if the folks back there claim it was some sort of unilateral action that they thought was improper; cool, we’d keep that in mind next time we strike,” John Brennan said, “We apologize for it if they don’t like it. No issues.”

But the official clarified that he was not tendering any apology for the anti-Osama operation as the modus operandi for such an operation had already been finalized and agreed upon at least 10 years ago between the then Presidents Pervez Musharraf and George W Bush.

“See, this style of operation worked, and we are not in a mood to redraw our strategy as it took 10 years to catch that Osama dude,” he said, “We apologize for our next strike is all that I’m saying.”

When asked why US Navy SEALs didn’t wait for the SMS delivery report, John Brenna was a bit evasive. “Our boys were getting restless,” was all that he said.

Meanwhile Pakistani military has termed the US official’s claims a “big lie”.

“They had got the delivery report as well as our reply,” General Ashfaq Parvez Kayani, showing us the reply in his “sent” items folder that read, “Wait!”

 

[void_0in]

Pakistan to stamp its products with RAW Mark, Taliban furious

Islamabad, Pakistan: In a unilateral confidence building measure aimed at easing tensions with rival India, Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari announced the launch of the “RAW Mark” as the official seal of quality and standards for consumer products across Pakistan. This has been done apparently as a sign of reciprocity towards India, which has stamped every product with an “ISI Mark” since 1987 as the gold standard in quality and authenticity.

Speaking at the launch ceremony in Islamabad’s Marriott Hotel, Zardari said, “Not just in the field of quality, this is a major strategic change in our international relations. We studied Indian strategy and felt that we must show the same level of practicality and return the favour by stamping all our products with RAW mark. Personally I think even the Marriott Hotels might have survived the attacks on them had they been ascertained for quality and stamped with the RAW mark.”

Purported to be implemented from 1st January 2010 under the aegis of the Pakistan Standards and Quality Control Authority, the RAW mark would hence be applied on every consumer good produced or imported in Pakistan. This would entail everything from soaps, pressure cookers, gas cylinders and even mineral water bottles. The products exempted include movies produced by Mahesh Bhatt and Atif Aslam’s albums if any one song features in a Bollywood movie besides those of Bhatt.
The arms recovered from Terrorists in Pakistan were marked Indian Ammo, but no RAW mark was found on them

The arms recovered from Terrorists in Pakistan were marked Indian Ammo, but no RAW mark was found on them

But a controversy has broken out as a section of Pakistani establishment wants weapons of mass destruction such as RDX, Grenades and AK 47’s to be stamped with RAW mark as well, so that the involvement of RAW can be proved in the regular terrorist activities inside Pakistan.

“Nobody, including our own citizens and media, believed us when we claimed that Indian ammunitions were recovered from Taliban militia, whereas Indians have been claiming ISI involvement for ages now. It’s because they stamp the ISI mark on just any about damn thing. This decision will be useless if we don’t stamp the weapons with RAW stamp.” General Zaid Hamid, an ex-army officer of Pakistani Army said.

While the Indian officials are yet to react, the group that is most upset over this suggestion is Tehreek-E-Taliban, and it has threatened to speed up the terrorist attacks inside Pakistan to one each hour if any attempt was made to take the credits away from them.

Speaking from a remote cave in Waziristan the spokesperson of Tehreek-E-Taliban said “What the ****! It has taken us a lot of time and effort to be able to carve a niche for ourselves within the terror market. Our members have worked diligently and used their extensive networks in Afghanistan, Iran, China and Nepal to be able to secure the latest in weapons technology. We have hired the best minds from management schools across Sudan and Yemen to be able to plan and organise these attacks. And once we end up executing the attacks to a flawless perfection – the Pakistani establishment says the Indians did it! Seriously, what the ****!”

Taliban is not taking any chances and it has announced that future cadres of suicide bombers will be equipped with the latest in the black box technology and satellite navigation equipments, so that their movements, words and actions can be tracked and produced as evidence by Taliban to counter the claims of ISI and the Pakistani government.