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Stupid and funny from all over the world - II

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If you stare at the image long enough, you should see a giraffe.

giraffe.gif
 
A hunter kills a deer and brings it home. He decides to clean it, prepare it, and serve the deer meat for dinner. He knows his kids are fussy eaters, and won't eat it if they know what it is, so he doesn't tell them.

His little boy keeps asking him, "What's for dinner dad?"

"You'll see", he replies.

They start eating dinner and his daughter keeps asking him what they are eating.

" Ok", says her dad, "Here's a hint. It's what your mother sometimes calls me."

His daughter screams... "Don't eat it, Jimmy !...... It's a

f***ing arsehole...!!!"
 
An Australian guy goes into a bar in the Greek Islands. Jill, the
Australian barmaid takes his order and notices his Australian accent. Over the course of the night they talk quite a bit. At the end of the night he asks her if she wants to have sex with him.

Although she is attracted to him she says no. He then offers to pay Her $200 for the deed. Jill is travelling the world and because she is short of funds she agrees.

The next night the guy turns up again and after showing her plenty of attention throughout the night he asks if she will sleep with him again for $200. She figures in for a penny in for a pound - and it was fantastic the night before - so she agrees. This goes on for 5 nights.

On the sixth night the guy comes into the bar. But this night he orders a beer and just goes and sits in the corner.

Jill is disappointed and thinks that maybe she should pay him more
attention. She goes over and sits next to him. She asks him where he
is from and he tells her Melbourne.

"So am I" she says. "What suburb in Melbourne?"

"Glen Iris" he says.

"That's amazing" she says, "so am I - what street?"

"Cameo street" he says."

"This is unbelievable" she says, "what number?"

He says "Number 20" and she is astonished.

"You are not going to believe this" she says, "I'm from number 22 and
my parents still live there!"





"I know" he says "your father gave me $1,000 to give to you!"





He who drinks Australian - thinks Australian!
 
A guy rushes into public toilet, which had two cubicles.

One of the doors was locked. So he went into the other one, closed the door, dropped his trousers and sat down.

A voice came from the next cubicle, "Hello mate, how are you doing?"

Although thinking that it was a bit strange, he didn't want to be rude, so he replied, "Not too bad, thanks."

After a short pause, he heard the voice again. "So, what are you up to?"

Again he answered, somewhat reluctantly, "Just having a quick sh**... How about yourself?"

The next thing he heard him say was, "Sorry, buddy, I'll have to call you back. I've got some idiot in the cubicle next to me answering everything I say."
 
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