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Stupid and funny from all over the world - II

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Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If General Motors had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response, General Motors issued a press release stating that if GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought "CarNT," but then you would have to buy more seats.
Apple would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but it would only run on five percent of the roads.
The warning lights for the oil pressure, water temperature and alternator would all be replaced by a single "general protection fault" warning light.
New seats would force everyone to have the same sized butt.
The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before deploying.
Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, you car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the antenna.

Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
You'd have to press the "start" button to turn the engine off.
 
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This unsuspecting pigeon, captured on this YouTube video, was in for a surprise when it landed on the handrail of a moving escalator. Either that, or it was using the rail as a bird-sized treadmill, we don't know – what do you think?


 
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