Spam mails

[Musalman]

People, i have received the following E-Mail from a dear in Pakistan.
Kindly read it and advise.

DONT DELETE!IF YOUR A MUSLIM! PLEASE READ THIS!This is true.From Madina Sheikh Ahmed has sent this news.On a Friday Sheikh Ahmed fell asleep reading the Quraan.He dreamt the Prophet Muhammed(SAW) standing in front of him and saying that in 1 week 7000 people died but not even one was a true Muslim.None did what ALLAH wanted.He also said now is a bad time.These days Wives dont look after their Husbands,Girls go round without being covered they do not respect parents or others,Rich do not look after the poor,they do not fulfil zakaat.The day of judgement is near. When there is a single star in the sky,straight away the path of forgiveness will close.The writing in the Quraan will disappear (vanish).The Sun will lower itself with earth.The Prophet said whoever reads this news to someone else,"I WILL ON THE DAY OF JUDGEMENT MAKE HIM A PLACE IN PARADISE,AND IF SOMEONE DOES NOT BELIEVE THIS NEWS TO BE TRUE THEY WILL BE BANISHED FROM PARADISE".If a poor person gives out this news to other people his/her good wish will come true.Sheikh Ahmed said if this is not true then my death will be off a Non-Muslim.Whoever Forwards This will get his/her reward in three days. One Person forward it to 40 people he had 8,000 thousand, take prophit in his buisness.One Person did not believe this news and his son died.One kept Saying he will forward it today,tomorrow but never forward this news he died as well.PLEASE DO NOT THINK THIS IS NOT TRUE.PLEASE FORWARD THIS TO AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE!

Islam was completed at the time of last Haj of the Prophet(SAW). Don't u think these statements contradict with Islam being final and complete?

 

[Kansu]

if everybody reading this thread sleep with their teddy bears, uncle teddy will and uncle sam will come to your dream and will present you a Javelin missile... a real, brand new one...

 

[FreekiN]

Tomorrow never comes until its too late.

 

[Awesome]

WJ, I've been receiving these type of emails since forever. I have NEVER forwarded any of these emails. It's all just a chain letter, meant to waste everybody's time.

It seems like Sheikh Ahmad is having this dream every Friday . It's spam. Anybody that asks you to forward the email and this n that would happen to you if you don't delete it. Nowadays Islamic chain letters have this new trend. They try to shame you into forwarding stuff like "If you are a true Muslim you would forward this mail" or better yet "Can't you spend 2 mins just to hit the forward button?" or or or, Say this Dua "Xyz", now forward it ahead and everybody who says it, their good deeds would be added to you and so on, its like a Pyramid Marketing scheme for Duas... Delete! I delete it off just for the principle of it all.

Just forward jokes and funnies, thats all people want to read and they will probably say more duas for you for making them laugh.

 

[FreekiN]

Thats what I call a 'Sign from Allah'

 

[DaRk WaVe]

Holy SMS​

Pakistanis love emailing and text messaging quotes from hadiths and assorted religious paraphernalia. I usually ignore such messages because in my mind I imagine a holy punter who is convinced that each email or SMS of his is getting him that much closer to booking a cosy place in heaven. The truth is that this (albeit irritating) activity is actually better than a holy bum blowing himself up in public to find that same place in Paradise.

However, last Monday, as I again received my share of emails and SMSes quoting hadith and citing all that sophomoric stuff about ‘scientific proofs in the Qu’ran,’ I decided to answer one particular SMS; one I was receiving for the umpteenth time.

This is how it went: Munafiq ki Nishaanian (signs of the hypocrite) – Jhoot bolna (telling lies); Wa’da khilafi karna (breaking promises); Khiyanat karma (stealing); Gaali dayna (swearing).

So I replied: Sir/Madman, thank you for your SMS. But I think you forgot one more sign of being a munafiq, i.e. khaali khuli kay SMS karna (sending aimless SMSes).

Right away the sender SMSed his/her reply: SMS technology wasn’t invented when the hadith were compiled. So you can’t say SMSing is a sign of being a munafiq.


He/she quite obviously missed out on my sarcasm. No matter, I thought. At once, I SMSed him/her my reply: Brother/Sister, in that case, I am sure SMSing is haraam. In future I think you should use a pigeon to send your wonderful messages, or better, bring good tidings on a camel.

There was silence for about 10 minutes. Then my phone buzzed again. He/She replied: I am female, so you can call me sister. I sense that you are making fun of my SMS. Very unfortunate, indeed. What was it that you found offensive in my SMS?

I wrote back: Sister. You can call me Nadeem. There was nothing offensive in it, as such. I just wondered what made you the one to tell everybody else what a munafiq is. Are you suggesting you are not one yourself? If not, then do share with me the signs and nishaanian of a person who thinks he or she is not a munafiq.

My phone buzzed again. This was her reply: Bhai, I was just spreading a good saying. I am not an angel, but at least I am conscious of avoiding things that can make one a munafiq. I send the SMS to many people, and most of them were happy and thankful.

“Did they have a choice?” I wrote back. “You don’t even know me. SMSing unrelated men. A very un-Islamic thing to do, no?”

“Dear, brother,” she SMSed, “I can’t see you, and neither can you see me. You are calling me sister, and I am referring to you as brother.”

“Sister,” I wrote, “You speak well … in parables. Should I read your SMS metaphorically or literally?”

“Brother,” she relied, “my SMS was only about good, clear advice. Read it as it is.”

“But why bring religion into it?” I wrote back. “Can’t an irreligious person be good as well; or can’t he or she too give good, clear advice?”

The phone beeped again: “Brother, I can’t understand how a person can be irreligious.”

“Sister,” I replied, “An irreligious person is as much a human being as a religious person. What’s the confusion?”

“Are you irreligious?” She wrote back.

“What do you think?” I replied.

“I think you are,” she wrote.

“I see. If you think I am irreligious, does SMSing me make you a munafiq?” I wrote back.

“No,” she replied. “Maybe my SMS will make you rediscover God.”

“Rediscover God through an SMS?” I replied. “How very tech-savvy of you, dear sister.”

“So are you irreligious or not?” she asked.

“What if I was?” I replied.

Bang came another advice: “A man without God is like a fish without water!”

“Dear sister,” I wrote back. “How expectantly presumptuous of you. Are you also suggesting that the Taliban who also claim to believe in God are better than an irreligious person who may be a lot less violent?”

“They are not Muslims!” she replied.

“Oh? And how is that?” I wrote.

“They are non-Muslims being paid to bring disrepute to Islam,” she replied.

“And how do you know that, dear sister?”

“It’s obvious. No Muslim would kill another Muslim.” she wrote back.

“But it’s okay if he kills a non-Muslim?” I replied.

“Yes, if he is attacked by a non-Muslim.”

“So,” I wrote, “this should mean that the Taliban who are killing Americans in Afghanistan are Muslim, but the Taliban who are killing Muslims in Pakistan are non-Muslims being paid by kafirs?”

“Yes,” came the reply.

“Dear sister,” I wrote back, “you just presented yourself to be a glaring example of a munafiq! Jazaak Allah. I now truly understand.”

“You have no right to say that,” she replied. “You are not even a Muslim!”

“Did I say that I wasn’t?” I wrote.

“No, but it’s obvious.”

“How come everything is so obvious to you?” I replied.

“That’s because I am a fish with water,” she wrote, with a smiley face.

“Oh, you got that wrong, sister.” I wrote. “You are a fresh water fish stuck in salt water!”

“Well, in that case, sorry to bother you. Have to go. My credit is running out,” she replied.

“Oh, boy,” I wrote. “How can a good, honest, non-munafiq spreader of Islam not have what all good, honest, non-munafiq spreader of Islam should have?”

“And what is that?” She replied.

“A post-paid connection.”

 

[DaRk WaVe]

Thats what I call a 'Sign from Allah'

undoubtedly the things in Space are real 'signs of Allah' something we never see, its just amazing & beautiful

 

[jeypore]

In a religious fight, who is the most Muslim gives more precedences then any other religious activities, maybe this explains the great thread after all. Since the question becomes who is really going to haven..

All I know, I am not one of them..

 

[Luftwaffe]

jayporeperhaps you're one of those who'll drink scaling water..my best wishes

 

[Windjammer]

WJ, I've been receiving these type of emails since forever. I have NEVER forwarded any of these emails. It's all just a chain letter, meant to waste everybody's time.

It seems like Sheikh Ahmad is having this dream every Friday . It's spam. Anybody that asks you to forward the email and this n that would happen to you if you don't delete it. Nowadays Islamic chain letters have this new trend. They try to shame you into forwarding stuff like "If you are a true Muslim you would forward this mail" or better yet "Can't you spend 2 mins just to hit the forward button?" or or or, Say this Dua "Xyz", now forward it ahead and everybody who says it, their good deeds would be added to you and so on, its like a Pyramid Marketing scheme for Duas... Delete! I delete it off just for the principle of it all.

Just forward jokes and funnies, thats all people want to read and they will probably say more duas for you for making them laugh.

My dear, as i said earlier that the item was E-Mailed to me from Pakistan by a relative, the guy works in IT Department of WAPDA in Islamabad and the subject turned up on his system. Being a Nephew, he obviously wanted to show me Highway to Heaven. In any case, i have given my reply and answer in post #14 and have also alerted the contact in Pakistan.

 

[Musalman]

My dear, as i said earlier that the item was E-Mailed to me from Pakistan by a relative, the guy works in IT Department of WAPDA in Islamabad and the subject turned up on his system. Being a Nephew, he obviously wanted to show me Highway to Heaven. In any case, i have given my reply and answer in post #14 and have also alerted the contact in Pakistan.

Without doubting your good intention brother, but this tantamount to bidha (innovation in religion) which is not suppose to be a good thing as per Islam (kindly refer to Sahih Muslim hadith in this regard)

 

[wjcking]

Bullshit....crappy email flying all over the internet.....there are similar emails in targeting all religions.......forward it to someone,... and their email Id gets tagged and gets fed in the originators database...and then these email Ids are used to send crappy ....viagra.... **** ...and all kind of email..... stop forwarding these kind of email to others...its nothing but a fraud.

hahahaha,indeed, Such bullshit things , juck email flying over the internet.

Do not trust these bullshit mails. which can offer you nothing but bullshting.

 

[FreekiN]

While we are in a spam thread,

for those of you who use Firefox/Chrome I suggest you download the plugin called 'AdBlock.' It will eliminate every ad on the interwebs. Especially the ones that may make you feel uncomfortable so it is very good.