*Military’s Murphy Laws…*
● Never share a bunker with anyone braver than yourself.
● Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
● Five-second fuses always burn in three seconds.
● No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.
● Friendly fire ain't friendly.
● The easy way is always mined.
● Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.
● If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.
● Incoming fire has the right of way.
● No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection.
● No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.
● If the enemy is within range, so are you.
● The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
● Tracers work both ways.
● Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs.
● Military Intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
● Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
● When in doubt, empty your magazine.
● The side with the simplest uniforms wins.
● Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.
● If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.
● The most dangerous thing in the world is a Lieutenant with a map and a compass.
● The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired.
● The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator.
● If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything.
● To steal information from a person is called plagiarism. To steal information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence.
● The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is the one you are trained with.
● The bursting radius of a hand grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range.
● The crucial round is a dud.
● There is no such place as a convenient foxhole.
● The density of fire increases proportionally to the curiousness of the target.
● Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the General is watching.
● Things that must be together to work can never be shipped together.
● The QuarterMaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
● If you have a personality conflict with your superior, he has the personality, you have the conflict.
● If you enter the CO's office with an idea, most likely, you will leave his office with his idea.