Such a lot of garbage. The supreme Court ruled, the Congress government bent over backwards to change it. One of the Congress's top ministers Arif Mohammed Khan resigned over that. Rajiv Gandhi then went on to open the locks at the disputed structure in Ayodhya & the rest is history. The BJP can't do it because they don't want anymore of anti-Muslim tag than they already have. As I said before, Sati would still have been practiced if community leaders were allowed to decide.
The problem with being over the top is you simply don't understand what arguments bother whom, I believe that any & all largesse based on religious grounds is anti-secular. Your argument though would have been made more correctly on Kailash Manasoravar subsidies, not on events happening within India. Even cricket matches & rock concerts get police protection & arrangements & there is tourism involved.
My point is that the reason we have this ridiculous things(like subsidies for Hindu pilgrimages) is because after the executive has giving the Haj subsidy, it makes it very difficult for the government to dismiss any other imbecilic claim for more such crap. That is tax money we are talking about and there are better things that it can be spent on. I think the khap panchayats should be dealt in the same way. I certainly don't support your argument that they should be allowed to do things their own way as their community leaders want.
You also talk about Hindus changing. Caste discrimination laws exist, no one made your argument that such laws should be scrapped and people should do so of their own free will. That is not how it works, in the U.S., in South Africa & in India and elsewhere. That is why we are supposed to be a nation of laws. Whether individuals change over time is their issue, whether they be allowed to practice idiotic behaviour that effects the rights of Indian citizens is another matter. The last I saw, Muslim women were still full Indian citizens.