Jazzbot
ELITE MEMBER
- Joined
- Apr 27, 2010
- Messages
- 10,382
- Reaction score
- 14
- Country
- Location
Nawaz Sharif utters grand total of seven words in communication with Saudi King
Jeddah
Our Saudi Correspondent
Pakistan Prime Minister Dr Mian Muhammad Nawaz Sharif met Saudi King Shah Abdullah and had a long and tedious discussion on bilateral ties, the problems of the Muslim Ummah and the amount of money that Pakistan would need for the next fiscal year. For the Muslim Ummah the issues in Palestine and Syria were discussed and the spiralling awareness over Shia genocide in Pakistan was also a matter of concern.
Eyewitnesses have told Khabaristan Today that the Pakistan prime minister uttered a grand total of seven words in the four-hour meeting, while the Saudi hierarchy did most of the talking. Finance Minister Ishaq Dar, also present during the meeting, could not utter any words unfortunately. Sources privy to the finance minister reveal that Dar did not really want to say anything in the first place.
The Pakistani prime minister had a notepad with him on which he wrote down the orders, Khabaristan Today has learnt. He was busy writing down instructions, which is one of the reasons he could not say much, sources stated. However, the counter theory to this argument is that Nawaz did not really have much to contribute to a discussion that resembled conversations between Queen Elizabeth and her butler.
“The butler doesn’t utter much,” an eyewitness exclaimed on condition of anonymity.
Sources further told Khabaristan Today that of the seven words that the Pakistani prime minister uttered, three roughly translated into ‘more dollars please’. The rumours surrounding the other four words are abound, and we are doing our best to unearth those four magic words. One of them is believed to be ‘yes’, when the PM was asked whether he would like to have more hummus.
*****
Economy strong enough to donate $1m to other countries: analysts
Islamabad
Our Finance Correspondent
Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz (PML-N) has fulfilled its pre-election promise of transforming the country into ‘Roshan Pakistan’. According to latest financial reports Pakistan’s economy is now strong enough to post staggering numbers, with inflation now down to negative double digits.
The GDP has grown by 2,000 percent in the last year and Pakistan’s power generation is such that it can export both electricity and gas to all countries. Pakistan is planning on exporting gas to Australia via a gas pipeline while, it would supply electricity to Alaska through electricity transmission lines. Pakistan’s transformation into a fiscal powerhouse in a single year has been nothing short of miraculous.
Economist are now of the opinion that considering Pakistan’s meteoric economic rise, where unemployment and hunger is now non-existent, it can now donate a million dollars to other people who might not be as fortunate as Pakistan is right now. Experts believe that considering Pakistan’s surplus production of everything, the country should now focus on helping out those around the world who are suffering.
Pakistan Prime Minister Mian Muhammad Nawaz Sharif has immediately taken notice of the economists’ verdict and is planning on donating a million dollars immediately. Thankfully Pakistan is now a country that has no sufferers, and no victims of any sort that might have needed money. Pakistan has now transformed from a “donate” to a donator.
*****
Pakistani man secretly wants Ramazan to end
Lahore
Our Ramazan Correspondent
A Pakistani man was caught secretly wanting Ramazan to end in the afternoon of Friday, Khabaristan Today has learnt. The said man, one Ali Arshad, 28-year-old chartered accountant, wished for the fifth time in the last week or so that the holy month of Ramazan would ‘end already’, according to sources privy to Arshad’s subconscious.
Arshad, 5 ft 4 inches tall and weighing 50kg feels week after 3 pm every day, having had nothing to eat or drink throughout the day. The man is not a practising Muslim and hence finds it increasingly difficult to warm up to the idea of staying hungry all day. Sometimes he does manage to squeeze in a banana or two when no one is watching, but he is not fortunate enough to manage to pull it off every day. Furthermore, there is even more pressure on Arshad to pray during office hours. More pressure than non-Ramazan days.
“I just want to eat whenever I want to and not pray if I don’t want to. I cannot stand this pressure.” Arshad told himself on Friday. “My religion is my business, why is everyone putting so much pressure on me?” he exclaimed.
According to reports Ali Arshad is not the only person who wants an end to all the pressure that Ramazan brings. It is pertinent to mention here that some of those people’s desires might be influenced by the week-long Eid vacations that would follow Ramazan, but a considerable portion of the population feels unnecessary pressure every year in the holy month of Ramazan.
Note: This is a work of satire and meant to be taken as such.
Nawaz Sharif utters grand total of seven words in communication with Saudi King | Pakistan Today
Jeddah
Our Saudi Correspondent
Pakistan Prime Minister Dr Mian Muhammad Nawaz Sharif met Saudi King Shah Abdullah and had a long and tedious discussion on bilateral ties, the problems of the Muslim Ummah and the amount of money that Pakistan would need for the next fiscal year. For the Muslim Ummah the issues in Palestine and Syria were discussed and the spiralling awareness over Shia genocide in Pakistan was also a matter of concern.
Eyewitnesses have told Khabaristan Today that the Pakistan prime minister uttered a grand total of seven words in the four-hour meeting, while the Saudi hierarchy did most of the talking. Finance Minister Ishaq Dar, also present during the meeting, could not utter any words unfortunately. Sources privy to the finance minister reveal that Dar did not really want to say anything in the first place.
The Pakistani prime minister had a notepad with him on which he wrote down the orders, Khabaristan Today has learnt. He was busy writing down instructions, which is one of the reasons he could not say much, sources stated. However, the counter theory to this argument is that Nawaz did not really have much to contribute to a discussion that resembled conversations between Queen Elizabeth and her butler.
“The butler doesn’t utter much,” an eyewitness exclaimed on condition of anonymity.
Sources further told Khabaristan Today that of the seven words that the Pakistani prime minister uttered, three roughly translated into ‘more dollars please’. The rumours surrounding the other four words are abound, and we are doing our best to unearth those four magic words. One of them is believed to be ‘yes’, when the PM was asked whether he would like to have more hummus.
*****
Economy strong enough to donate $1m to other countries: analysts
Islamabad
Our Finance Correspondent
Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz (PML-N) has fulfilled its pre-election promise of transforming the country into ‘Roshan Pakistan’. According to latest financial reports Pakistan’s economy is now strong enough to post staggering numbers, with inflation now down to negative double digits.
The GDP has grown by 2,000 percent in the last year and Pakistan’s power generation is such that it can export both electricity and gas to all countries. Pakistan is planning on exporting gas to Australia via a gas pipeline while, it would supply electricity to Alaska through electricity transmission lines. Pakistan’s transformation into a fiscal powerhouse in a single year has been nothing short of miraculous.
Economist are now of the opinion that considering Pakistan’s meteoric economic rise, where unemployment and hunger is now non-existent, it can now donate a million dollars to other people who might not be as fortunate as Pakistan is right now. Experts believe that considering Pakistan’s surplus production of everything, the country should now focus on helping out those around the world who are suffering.
Pakistan Prime Minister Mian Muhammad Nawaz Sharif has immediately taken notice of the economists’ verdict and is planning on donating a million dollars immediately. Thankfully Pakistan is now a country that has no sufferers, and no victims of any sort that might have needed money. Pakistan has now transformed from a “donate” to a donator.
*****
Pakistani man secretly wants Ramazan to end
Lahore
Our Ramazan Correspondent
A Pakistani man was caught secretly wanting Ramazan to end in the afternoon of Friday, Khabaristan Today has learnt. The said man, one Ali Arshad, 28-year-old chartered accountant, wished for the fifth time in the last week or so that the holy month of Ramazan would ‘end already’, according to sources privy to Arshad’s subconscious.
Arshad, 5 ft 4 inches tall and weighing 50kg feels week after 3 pm every day, having had nothing to eat or drink throughout the day. The man is not a practising Muslim and hence finds it increasingly difficult to warm up to the idea of staying hungry all day. Sometimes he does manage to squeeze in a banana or two when no one is watching, but he is not fortunate enough to manage to pull it off every day. Furthermore, there is even more pressure on Arshad to pray during office hours. More pressure than non-Ramazan days.
“I just want to eat whenever I want to and not pray if I don’t want to. I cannot stand this pressure.” Arshad told himself on Friday. “My religion is my business, why is everyone putting so much pressure on me?” he exclaimed.
According to reports Ali Arshad is not the only person who wants an end to all the pressure that Ramazan brings. It is pertinent to mention here that some of those people’s desires might be influenced by the week-long Eid vacations that would follow Ramazan, but a considerable portion of the population feels unnecessary pressure every year in the holy month of Ramazan.
Note: This is a work of satire and meant to be taken as such.
Nawaz Sharif utters grand total of seven words in communication with Saudi King | Pakistan Today
..he could have use recorder
