pkd
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Champions Trophy: more sex please, we're Indian Well, it worked for Warnie I guess. But can India really bed-hop their way to the Champions Trophy?
Thats the view of coach Gary Kirsten, who says Indias chances in South Africa depend as much on bowling over maidens as bowling maiden overs. On the eve of the Champions Trophy, Kirsten circulated a four-page preparatory document among the members of Mahendra Dhonis squad.
Much of it was standard fare about diet, training etc. But one chapter - Does sex improve performance? - would certainly have pricked up a few ears. Yes it does, so go ahead and indulge! reads the document, which has been leaked to the Hindustan Times. From a physiological perspective, having sex increases testosterone levels, which cause an increase in strength, energy, aggression and competitiveness. If thats the case, then Englands players could do with more time fielding in the covers, so to speak.
But on closer inspection, these instructions pose several obvious problems. Firstly, not all the cricketers are single, and WAGs dont always travel on tour. Attitudes to sex are becoming more liberal, in India and in England, but it remains highly unlikely an adulterous cricketer could placate his seething bride by claiming the coach told me to do it!
Another obvious issue is tackled in the document by Tim Noakes, a professor and sports scientist at the University of Cape Town, who writes: Sex [is] not a problem, but being up till 2am, probably having a few drinks at a bar while trying to pick someone up, on the eve of a game, almost always is. According to Noakes though, a solution is at hand (sorry, that really is the last pun). If you want sex but do not have someone to share it with, one option is to go solo whilst imagining you have a partner, or a few partners, who are as beautiful as you wish to imagine, the document reads. No pillow talk and no hugging required. Just roll over and go to sleep.
Unfortunately, though, even this advice is not without obstacles, particularly as most cricketers still share a bedroom while on tour. And obviously, morale within a dressing room can really suffer when individuals spend too much time focusing on themselves in this way. So while interesting, this document seems to throw up as many questions as it does answers. But at least it clears up one point which has been nagging me for a while.
The armies of backroom staff now employed by modern cricket teams has led many of us to wonder what these blokes do all day. Now we have an answer - they teach cricketers how to masturbate. Edward Thring - the Victorian schoolmaster who famously pioneered sport as an antidote to the devil work of impurity - must be turning in his grave
Thats the view of coach Gary Kirsten, who says Indias chances in South Africa depend as much on bowling over maidens as bowling maiden overs. On the eve of the Champions Trophy, Kirsten circulated a four-page preparatory document among the members of Mahendra Dhonis squad.
Much of it was standard fare about diet, training etc. But one chapter - Does sex improve performance? - would certainly have pricked up a few ears. Yes it does, so go ahead and indulge! reads the document, which has been leaked to the Hindustan Times. From a physiological perspective, having sex increases testosterone levels, which cause an increase in strength, energy, aggression and competitiveness. If thats the case, then Englands players could do with more time fielding in the covers, so to speak.
But on closer inspection, these instructions pose several obvious problems. Firstly, not all the cricketers are single, and WAGs dont always travel on tour. Attitudes to sex are becoming more liberal, in India and in England, but it remains highly unlikely an adulterous cricketer could placate his seething bride by claiming the coach told me to do it!
Another obvious issue is tackled in the document by Tim Noakes, a professor and sports scientist at the University of Cape Town, who writes: Sex [is] not a problem, but being up till 2am, probably having a few drinks at a bar while trying to pick someone up, on the eve of a game, almost always is. According to Noakes though, a solution is at hand (sorry, that really is the last pun). If you want sex but do not have someone to share it with, one option is to go solo whilst imagining you have a partner, or a few partners, who are as beautiful as you wish to imagine, the document reads. No pillow talk and no hugging required. Just roll over and go to sleep.
Unfortunately, though, even this advice is not without obstacles, particularly as most cricketers still share a bedroom while on tour. And obviously, morale within a dressing room can really suffer when individuals spend too much time focusing on themselves in this way. So while interesting, this document seems to throw up as many questions as it does answers. But at least it clears up one point which has been nagging me for a while.
The armies of backroom staff now employed by modern cricket teams has led many of us to wonder what these blokes do all day. Now we have an answer - they teach cricketers how to masturbate. Edward Thring - the Victorian schoolmaster who famously pioneered sport as an antidote to the devil work of impurity - must be turning in his grave
