The Times --- is read by the people who run the country.
> The Daily Mirror --- is read by the people who think they run the country.
> The Guardian --- is read by the people who think they ought to run the country.
> The Morning Star --- is read by the people who think the country ought
> to be run by another country.
> The Independent --- is read by people who don't know who runs the
> country but are sure they're doing it wrong.
> The Daily Mail --- is read by the wives of the people who run the country.
> The Financial Times --- is read by the people who own the country.
> The Daily Express --- is read by the people who think the country
> ought to be run as it used to be run.
> The Daily Telegraph --- is read by the people who still think it is
> their country.
> And,
> The Sun's readers --- don't care who runs the country providing she
> has big t**s.
dont think so matey!
HOW THE CHINESE STAY PUT IN ITALY
About a century or two ago,the Pope decided that all the Chinese had toleave Italy . Naturally there was a big uproar from the Chinese community. So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Chinese community. If the Chinese win, they could stay. If the Pope wins, the Chinese would have to leave.
The Chinese realized that they had no other choice. So they picked an old man named Ah Pek to represent them.
As Ah Pek was not conversant in Italian language, he asked for one condition to be addedto the debate.
'To be fair', he said, 'neither side would be allowed to talk'.
The Pope agreed.
On the day of the big debate, Ah Pek and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute.
Then the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.
Ah Pek looked back at him and raised one finger.
The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head.
Ah Pek pointed to the ground at where he sat.
The Pope pulled out a loaf and a glass of wine.
Ah Pek pulled out an apple.
The Pope stood up and said: 'I give up. This man is too good in religious knowledge. The Chinese can stay.'
An hour later, the cardinals were all around the Pope asking him what happened.
The Pope said, 'First I held up three fingers to represent the holy trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions.
Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground and showing that God was also right here with us.
I pulled out the wine and loaf to show thatGod absolves all sin. He showed me an apple to remind us of the original sin.
He had an answerfor everything. What could I do??'
Meanwhile, the Chinese community also crowded around Ah Pek and asked him what's happened in the debate.
'Well', said Ah Pek. 'First he indicated to me that all Chinese had 3 days to get out of here. I raised my third finger and asked him to f*@k off, and that none of us was leaving.
Then he pointed that this whole city would be cleared of Chinese. I showed him that we are staying right here.'
'Yes, and then???' asked the crowd.
'I don't know', said Ah Pek, 'He took out his lunch, and I took out mine.'