Joke

[FlyingEagle]

Wife to Sardar: O wekho munda menu smile de ria je.

Sardar: Smile ni dy raya pagly, Jadon mai tenu peli wari wekhia c te mera v hassa nikal gya c.

 

[FlyingEagle]

Sardar went to england with his wife on honeymoon. During shoping he collide/bump with a lady:
Lady: Ohh I'm sorry
Sardar (Izat ka sawal hay): Twinkle twinkle little star
Lady: What are you talking about?
Sardar: How I wonder what you are
Lady: nonsense (move ahead)

Sardarni: Wah sardar G tusi ty udi changi bolti band kiti.
Sardar: palia loky sukar kr, ajy ty ma onu Thirsty crow ni sunai

 

[FlyingEagle]

Dil sa Desi kay ly:

Education board's chairman visit to a village high school. He goes to ninth standard and ask a question:
Chairman: Somnat ka mandir kis na torra?
Student: Allah di kasmy ma ni torya.
Teacher (Apni stick uthaty huvy): OO jay tu torya ay manda kyun ni?

(All three of them goes to the principal)

Chairman to Principal: Twady school cy kisi nu pata hi ni k somnath ka mandir kis na tora
Principal: Sir 1 ganta(Hour) do ma pata kara dyna a k kis na a harkat kiti ay.

Chairman went back and wrote a letter to education board and explain the situation that no one knows k somnath ka mandir kis na tora. After few days a letter was received by the principal from Eucation board which states:

"Sanu vi ni pata k somnath da mandir kiny torya pr udi bharwai twadi tankhawa wicho hoi gi"

 

[BlackenTheSky]

A husband and wife lived well life..unfortunately they both got killed in a car accident..they both were sent to the heaven.and they both agreed to live together in heaven...so they ask the angel..
wife and husband: jannat mein hamara nikkah karwado..
Angel: pehle kisi mulla ko tau jannat mein aane do

 

[Iggy]

 

[U-571]

A husband and wife lived well life..unfortunately they both got killed in a car accident..they both were sent to the heaven.and they both agreed to live together in heaven...so they ask the angel..
wife and husband: jannat mein hamara nikkah karwado..
Angel: pehle kisi mulla ko tau jannat mein aane do

acha is main hasna bhi tha, zara likh dya hota bhai!!

 

[Bushy]

Thought I would add a bit of mine in this thread too...


Examiner: Ye kaun si bird hai, iski taang dekh kar batao

Student: Mujhe nahi pata

Examiner: You are failed! What is your name?

Student: Le saale le! Meri taang dekh ke bata de!

 

[U-571]

Thought I would add a bit of mine in this thread too...


Examiner: Ye kaun si bird hai, iski taang dekh kar batao

Student: Mujhe nahi pata

Examiner: You are failed! What is your name?

Student: Le saale le! Meri taang dekh ke bata de!

stupid but funny

 

[mshoaib61]

A young unmarried girl discovers that she is pregnant. Scared, She confides this ' news' to her mother.


Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did This to you?


I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.


Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature And distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit steps out of it and enters the house.


He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the Girl, and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the Problem. However, I can't marry her because of my personal family Situation, but I'll take responsibility. If a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $2,000,000 bank account.


If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each. However,


If there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"


At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand


Firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You can try again !" LOL

 

[BlackenTheSky]

acha is main hasna bhi tha, zara likh dya hota bhai!!

The thread is JOKES.and jokes are to laugh..now i have written something on joke will not be any horror story to scare..if you need my guidance that what you have to do then sorry no time to guide you

 

[Kompromat]

once there were 4 people flying in a plane , A pilot one sardar jee , one Pathan and one school kid to some destination.

Plane's engine has stopped running we are going to Crash soon , we all must jump but we only have 3 parasuits , Pilot announced!!

Pathan got up took the parasuit and jumped saying ," i am getting late from Namaz "

Sardar jee saw him jumping down , quickly got up picked the parasuit and jumped saying , "Gurwindar's mumi is waiting for me "

Pilot was shocked and said to the kid , " i will try to land somewhere and save my life , you can take the last parasuit and jump down"

Kid replied " no uncle pilot you come with me ! we have 2 parasuits not 1 ... sardar jee took my school bag with him "

 

[mshoaib61]

A family in Gujarat was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother (Ba) arrived from the US . It was sent by one of the daughters.

The dead body was very tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it when they opened the lid; they found a letter on top addressed to her brothers and sisters:


Dear Chandrakantbhai, Arvindbhai, Smitaben and Varsha,


I am sending Ba's body to you, since it was her wish that she should be cremated in the compound of our ancestral home in GUJARAT .

Sorry, I could not come along as all of my paid leave is consumed.

You will find inside the coffin, under Ba's body, cans of cheese,

10 packets of Tobler chocolates and 8 packets of Badam (peanuts) please divide these among all of you.


On Ba's feet you will find a new pair of Reebok shoes (size 10) for Mohan. There are also 2 pairs of shoes for Radha's and Lakshmi's sons. Hope the sizes are correct.

Ba is wearing 6 American T-Shirts. The large size is for Mohan.

Just distribute the rest among yourselves.


The 2 new Jeans that Ba is wearing are for the boys.


The Swiss watch that Reema wanted is on Ba's left wrist.


Shanta masi, Ba is wearing the necklace, earrings and ring that you asked for. Please take them off her.


The 6 white cotton socks that Ba is wearing must be divided among my nephews.


Please distribute all these fairly.


PS : If anything more required let me know soon as Bapuji is also not feeling too well now a days

 

[mshoaib61]

Harbhajan ne apni Biwi se puchha,"Kya main tumhara pehla pyar hoon?"
BIWI Boli, "Kar di na sardaro wali baat, SPINNER ko kabhi opening milti hai.bhala ..

 

[mshoaib61]

After making a trip of South India, Santa Singh, his wife and his son were returning to Punjab in Tamilnadu Express.

Santa Singh was occupying the lower berth, his wife the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train. When the train stopped at one of the stations on the way back the son requested Santa Singh to bring him a cup of Ice cream to which Santa readily agreed.

When Santa and his son returned they found that a South Indian who couldn't understand Hindi had occupied his son's berth.

Outraged, Santa Singh called the TT and asked him to help. TT requested that he could not understand Hindi/Punjabi so it would be better if Santa Singh explained the whole situation to him in English.

Santa Singh explained, "That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child."

 

[mshoaib61]

WHEN THE BOY WAS RETURNING AFTER HIS MARRIAGE…HE FOUND HIS WIFE HOLDING A SMALL PACKET..

THE BOY ASKED……..WHATS THERE IN THAT PACKET..

WIFE REPLIED…..DARLING THIS IS THE SECRET OF MY LIFE...PLS NEVER OPEN IT OR ASK ME ABOUT IT FURTHER….OTHERWISE OUR MARRIAGE WILL BE IN TROUBLE....

THE COUPLE SPENT THEIR DAYS HAPPILY……BUT THE BOY WAS VERY KEEN TO KNOW WHAT WAS THERE IN THAT SMALL PACKET……


AFTER SOME DAYS THE BOY AGAIN TOLD……DARLING AFTER MARRYING YOU , I GOT THE WOMAN OF MY DREAM…BUT TELL ME WHAT THAT PACKET IS…….IT WLL NEVER AFFECT OUR RELATIONSHIP… ..AS I LOVE U MORE THAN MY LIFE………………..BUT WIFE ONLY TOLD THAT I ALSO LOVE U MORE THAN MY LIFE….THATS WHY TELLING U NOT TO ASK ABOUT THAT……….

AFTER SOME DAYS WIFE WENT TO HER OWN HOUSE AND FORGOT TO TAKE HER PACKET………THEN THE BOY COULDN'T CONTROL HIMSELF….AND OPENED THAT PACKET…………


HE WAS SHOCKED TO OPEN THAT……..THERE WAS 30 RUPEES……AND 2 WHEAT GRAINS….IN THAT PACKET……THE BOY COULDN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IT WAS…AND HOW IT COULD AFFECT THEIR MARRIAGE LIFE……

THEN WHEN HIS WIFE RETURNED …..HE BURST INTO LAUGHTER…..AND TOLD …DARLING WHAT IS THIS……AND HOW IT COULD HAVE AFFECTED OUR RELATIONSHIP……..WHATEVER MAY BE……U HAVE TO TELL ME ABOUT THE SECRET…….


THE THE WIFE REPLIED…………

THAT'S NOT GOOD……………….ANY WAY…….IF U HAVE ALREADY FINALISED TO KNOW THE SECRET …..HERE IT…………

BEFORE MARRIAGE ..EACH TIME I HAD SEX WITH ANY GUY…I PUT A WHEAT GRAIN IN THAT PACKET TO REALISE THAT I HAVE DONE A MISTAKE……

THE BOY SAW THOSE TWO WHEAT GRAINS….AND AFTER WAITING FOR TWO MINUTES TOLD…..……….. ITS OK……EVERYBODY MAKES MISTAKE …….

I STILL LOVE U BECAUSE U TOLD ME THE TRUTH…….. BUT WHAT IS THAT 30 RUPEES………… THE WIFE REPLIED…..THE BOY FAINTED…………

THE WIFE SAID……I HAVE SOLD 6 KG WHEAT AT A RATE RS 5 PER KG