Joke

[KashifAsrar]

1)Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.

2) Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a baby.

3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.

4) Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.

5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.

6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.

7) Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.

8) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS To produce a baby.

And lastly.................

9) Risk Management coordinator is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the Right baby.

 

[Neo]

You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect man (or) woman you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car.

Think before you continue reading. This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first; or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect dream lover again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble
coming up with his answer.

He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my old friend, and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the woman of my dreams."

Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."

 

[KashifAsrar]

Or outside car?
Kashif

 

[TexasJohn]

What to wear when your wife wants you to do something!!

 

[A.Rahman]

Plz stop giving keys crazy Ideas

 

[Keysersoze]

please note guys, thats the new digital camo.......

 

[TexasJohn]

Check it out on this F-16!

http://www.defenseindustrydaily.com/images/AIR_F-16_in_KA2-Desert_lg.jpg

 

[Chrome9]

looks gorgeous!

 

[Neo]

 

[SomiShah]

Apple Ka Juice...
Mangoo ka Juice...
Tarboz ka Juice...
Badaam Ka Juice...
Khajoor Ka Juice...
Kaaju Ka Juice...
Agar un main us kuch pasand nahi tu Angootha Chooos Kanjoos....[]

 

[EagleEyes]

^ Nice share man!

 

[mustang]

Do You Think Like A Psychopath?

Read this question, come up with an answer. This is not a trick question.

It is as it reads. No one I know so far has got it right.

A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met a guy whom she did not know. She thought the man was amazing. She believed him to be her dream hero so much so that she fell in love with him right there, but never asked for his number and could not find him. A few days later she killed her sister.

Question:
What is her motive for killing her sister?

Give this some thought before you look at the answer below.





















Answer:
She was hoping the guy would appear at the funeral again.

If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath. This supposedly was a test by a famous American Psychologist used to test if one has the same mentality as a killer.

Several arrested serial killers were given test and answered the question correctly.
If you didn’t answer the question correctly, good for you. If you did,admit it, and look for a good doctor.

 

[mustang]

Two Blind Pilots

Two blind pilots were both wearing dark glasses. One is using a guide dog and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane.

Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the c*ckpit, the door closes and the engines start up. The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming.

The plane moves faster and faster down the runway and the people sitting in the window seats realize they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport. As it begins to look as though the plane will plough into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin.


At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly and soon all retreat into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands.


In the c*ckpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says, "Ya know, Bob, one of these days, they're gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die."

 

[solid snake]

I don't know if anyone here will get my jokes but here goes:

A priest, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar. The bartender says "what is this, a joke?"

A sandwich walks into a bar. Bartender says "sorry, we don't serve food".

 

[F.O.X]

Laloo Prasad sent his Bio Data

Laloo Prasad sent his Bio Data - to apply for a post in Microsoft Corporation,
A few days later he got this reply:
Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,
You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence.
No phone call shall be entertained.
Thanks
Bill Gates.

Laloo prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply.
He arranged a press conference : "Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki hum ko Amereeca mein naukri mil gayee hai."Everyone was delighted. Laloo prasad continued...... "Ab hum aap sab ko apnaa appointment Letter padkar sunaongaa ? par letter angreeze main hai - isliyen saath-saath Hindi main translate bhee karoonga.

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad ----- Pyare Laloo prasad bhaiyya
You do not meet -----aap to miltay hee naheen ho
our requirement ----- humko to zaroorat hai
Please do not send any furthur correspondance ----- ab Letter vetter bhejne ka kaouno zaroorat nahee.
No phone call ----- phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai
shall be entertained ----- bahut khaatir kee jayegi.
Thanks ----- aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyavad.
Bill Gates. ---- Tohar Bilva. .


Regards
Wilco