Wait whaaaaaaaaaaaaat? O_O
The year was 1947, the Jews and Arabs were at it again. Zimbabwean lands were well protected and prosperous when the Jews and Arabs briefly set aside their differences to co-conspire a plan to invade ancient Zimbabwean lands, it came at a complete and utter surprise when the Arabs and Jews turned their guns and fury towards us. A young Robert Mugabe with his beautiful unblemished skin and imposing stature was at the time apart of a clandestine commando squad operating throughout Zimbabwean territory across the world, the squad was so classified that it didn't officially have a name as to not draw any attention to the group. Its members 'officially' had civilian jobs as to cover their involvement with the group. Robert Mugabe for example was a teacher.
The attack happened in the middle of the night, most Zimbabweans in the territory were asleep, including the squad. It came at a stroke of luck when a sentry caught sight of an Israeli infiltrator and opened fire. The reaction forced the Israeli and Arab commanders to panic and prematurely attack, this was a fatal mistake. The squad was instantly alerted by the commotion and within mere seconds were fully prepared to confront the enemy. For many hours the squad was assaulted with hordes upon hordes of invading Bedouins and Israeli's, the squads perseverance inflicted over 10,000 casualties upon the invading forces. This was enough time to evacuate the entire territory and leave traps for the invading forces. Mugabe who at the time commanded the entire squad demanded Zimbabwean leadership to let the group stay and finish off the invaders, however the sheer badassery of the squad shocked entire governments across the world who were totally jealous of the squads capabilities, they threatened war because of this jealousy. This was too much as Zimbabwe can only fight 6 powers at one time, not seven (though this capability has been increased exponentially since then).
The squad reluctantly evacuated, leaving the unrelenting but battered Arabs and Israeli's to lick their wound and turn their hostilities towards each other once again, the Arabs were so utterly, completely and hilariously destroyed by the squad, the remnants were quickly dispatched and defeated by the Israelis where they continued to capture large swaths of Arab and Zimbabwean lands. The squad were held as heroes back in their native and awesome Zimbabwe despite the secrecy surrounding their group, there our loyal and fearless Robert Mugabe quickly ascended to his rightful place ruling Zimbabwe many years after. There he vowed to return the occupied territory to Zimbabwe even if he himself had to take up arms and fight, disregarding his age which he himself describes as "Merely a number".
Since then many movies and books have been released across the world regarding the almost mythical squad. The most famous of which is "12" (the number of commandos in the squad) detailing how they defeated a collective force of over 10,000 Arabs and Israeli's, while exploring the relationships formed along the way during the very one-sided battle. The event will go down as the biggest military failure in Israeli history and like the 50th in Arab history. It is often said the phrase "Oy Vey" is referencing when an Israeli soldier mentioned to his comrade during battle "Oy Vey! We really suck". And that the phrase "Allahu Akbar" was when a Bedouin horseman mentioned to his comrade in battle that "Allahu Akbar! We really suck". Nevertheless, despite the details of the battle, many of its specifics have been lost in time, with only the survivors of the battle ( which there are few) knowing the full details
Join us on the next adventure when the squad battles The Ultimate Warrior's ghost and decimates all of Navy Seal!
Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump 5h5 hours ago
