Interfaith marriages

[HK-47]

what are your views on interfaith marriages?do you accept them?In today's world it's impossible to stop even in the most conservative socieites.
I also hate the conversion part when it comes to such marriages whether the Muslim is the bride or the bridegroom.

although I can tolerate interfaith marriages I really don't endorse them or encourage such practices.Interfaith marriages are happening all over the Islamic world IMO too much for our own good.dating,dancing this and that,they can be accepted to a certain level but I think people should draw the line when it comes to an interfaith union.

there is also a demographic issue.a year ago I used to read articles where they use to say Muslim men are out in the west ,here and there to marry and convert Non-Muslim girls into Muslims and practically use them as baby production factories.
are such allegations true?

looking forward to your views.

 

[AgNoStiC MuSliM]

There is no reason they shouldn't be accepted from a societal point of view - they are however a true test of the flexibility of two individuals, and as such should not be entered into lightly - without taking into account serious issues such as the faith of the children, the type of upbringing you envision for them etc. and of course whether or not you expect the spouse to conform to your expectations of how he/she should behave after marriage.

I don't agree at all with either side asking the other to convert - the marriage is between two people who care for each other, not between one person and the other persons religion. To ask your spouse or would be spouse to convert is being extremely disrespectful of her beliefs and upbringing. Honestly, if one has that big of an issue with the other persons faith, they should not be considering any sort of permanent union. What people tend to forget while trying to "convert" the other, is that your significant other's original faith, beliefs, experiences and upbringing make them the person they are, and the person that you care about enough to consider marrying. How does asking them to give up all of that make sense?

Its all about being open with each other, realizing there will be differences and deciding what sort of give and take will occur. It is a personal decision, and if two individuals feel comfortable with it, we should respect their decision.

As far as the "allegation", thats hogwash. I am personally aware of a couple of guys at the uni. here who want to marry American girls they are dating, but their condition is that the girls convert. Thats fine, I may not agree with it, but at least their conditions are upfront. Now if the girl chooses to convert, why blame the men for it? Are the girls not adults who can think for themselves? That kind of nonsense is propoganda by Islam detractors.

Of course I have also heard Muslims say that Christian men marry Muslim women to do what you mentioned. Its simply ignorance on both sides.

 

[amunhotep]

AM i thought you were agnostic.

 

[roadrunner]

Well, here's one reason not to date a Sikh woman..and you wonder what's that they keep in their turbans..

Pregnant Muslim teenager 'stabbed to death by Sikh love rival' was disappointed with her arranged marriage | the Daily Mail

 

[AgNoStiC MuSliM]

AM i thought you were agnostic.

What are you trying to say?

 

[HK-47]

visited a Sikh forum once....the way they spoke there it seems it's more common to see interfaith marriages than others.
Road Runner a good one.there was also a recent case in West Bengal of India where the Muslim boy was murdered.But Muslims too have their share of honour killings.

 

[su-47]

If two people of two different religions choose to marry, its their personal business. Their religious community shouldnt put pressure on either of them.

But unfortunately, all religious communities like to interfere. Sometimes families are also very harsh with the religion issue. In an Indian magaine i read of a hindu doctor who married a woman of another religion (cant remember if she was muslim or christian). He was subsequently disinherited by his father, and never allowed back in the family. Stupid aint it?

also, i believ that children of interfaith couples should be allowed to choose which religion they want to follow, rather than being forced to follow one.

 

[HK-47]

I concur with you but it's not that easy sometimes.

 

[Samudra]

1.What does the book say ? Are Muslim women allowed to marry lets say, a Hindu? Are the rules different for men and women ? If so, why?

2. Do Shia's and Sunni's inter-marry freely ? I hear from my Pakistani friends that such marriages are quite rare.

As far as the "allegation", thats hogwash. I am personally aware of a couple of guys at the uni. here who want to marry American girls they are dating, but their condition is that the girls convert. Thats fine,

AM.

That's not fine and more importantly that is not love. At least that's my opinion. May be the boys can convert? The all loving God is certainly not going to punish somebody for worshipping him in another form - all for the love of his life!

I've seen a Muslim trying to convert a friend of mine. When I had the friend ask the guy to convert - well, you can guess the reaction.

 

[Spring Onion]

If two people of two different religions choose to marry, its their personal business. Their religious community shouldnt put pressure on either of them.
But unfortunately, all religious communities like to interfere. Sometimes families are also very harsh with the religion issue. In an Indian magaine i read of a hindu doctor who married a woman of another religion (cant remember if she was muslim or christian). He was subsequently disinherited by his father, and never allowed back in the family. Stupid aint it?.

Well that is not that easy specially in communities like that of sub-continent and also other regions too as it is not only synonomous with this part of the world.
If we take only our part of the world we can not get away with interfaith marriages as there are many things taken to be into consideration before going for such a marriage

1. The religion
2. culture/Family values
3. the complex system of communities within a community
4. The cast system

Now its not easy just to ignore these factores

also, i believ that children of interfaith couples should be allowed to choose which religion they want to follow, rather than being forced to follow one.

hat is the biggest problem such marriages creat problem for the childer as parents somehow manages but when it come to adoption of faith for the childern it is something which is not easy.
We can not simply say oh let them choose whatever they want beacuse

1. till certain age they are not able to understand what a faith is and they had to be under influence of both the parents so its difficult to keep them away from getting under influence of one or the other.
2. naturaly no matter both wife and husband somehow manage to carry along each other's faiths but they do want to get their kids under influence of their individual faith

 

[roadrunner]

2. Do Shia's and Sunni's inter-marry freely ? I hear from my Pakistani friends that such marriages are quite rare.

On the contrary, the Shia-Sunni marriages are quite common, especially amongst Pakistanis.

 

[AgNoStiC MuSliM]

On the contrary, the Shia-Sunni marriages are quite common, especially amongst Pakistanis.

I can testify to that- I am the product of one

 

[AgNoStiC MuSliM]

AM.

That's not fine and more importantly that is not love. At least that's my opinion. May be the boys can convert? The all loving God is certainly not going to punish somebody for worshipping him in another form - all for the love of his life!

I've seen a Muslim trying to convert a friend of mine. When I had the friend ask the guy to convert - well, you can guess the reaction.

Please don't take one part of my post, and then the first two words of a sentence, and misrepresent my views. I quite clearly stated that I do not agree with trying to convert your significant other, and elucidated why - but while you and I may not agree with that view, there is nothing wrong with a boy, or girl (don't take my example literally, its just an example), choosing to express his/her conditions before any long term commitment. It is "fine" because the girl/boy being given the choice can say F*** Off - you obviously care more about your faith than me. The two can then live with whatever consequences their choices have.

But the key here is that they have the freedom to state their "conditions", and accept or reject them.

 

[Awesome]

1.What does the book say ? Are Muslim women allowed to marry lets say, a Hindu? Are the rules different for men and women ? If so, why?

Your questions are based upon religious doctrine whereas the question was asked on more societal grounds. Anyway,

IMO it's not allowed for either. A Muslim woman can marry a non-Muslim (Polytheist or Monotheist), if he converts. The number 1 reason: Your actions throughout life shouldn't harm the continuity of Islam... EVER. A true Muslim won't love someone, if that harms his or her religion. If you still want to, go ahead but seek any conformity from Islam too.

2. Do Shia's and Sunni's inter-marry freely ? I hear from my Pakistani friends that such marriages are quite rare.

There is no religious restriction in such a marriage. Since religiously speaking there really isn't such a thing as a Shia or a Sunni. But since the cultures are different there will obviously be a problem.

That's not fine and more importantly that is not love.

Now you're treading back into social dilemmas.

Sure its not a sacrifice that one is expected to make in true love. But there is another love a Muslim bound to. His love towards the religion and God. The Prophet Abraham was willing to sacrifice his own son that he loved so much for that was the commandment of God.

However no one should convert for the sake of love either. The only conversion permissible is the one out of conviction for Islam itself.

The all loving God is certainly not going to punish somebody for worshipping him in another form - all for the love of his life!

Again no conversion can happen without someone having a true conviction for the other religion.

Just labeling someone Muslim, Hindu, Christian does not mean anything.

 

[AgNoStiC MuSliM]

SU 47

also, i believ that children of interfaith couples should be allowed to choose which religion they want to follow, rather than being forced to follow one.

I agree with that, in fact it is something I have recommended to people in that situation. It is perfectly alright to raise your children in both faith's and allow them to make the choice whenever they feel they are ready. I don't agree with the view that this will "confuse the children", if anything, it allows them to learn about the diversity of belief systems in the world, and become well rounded and open minded individuals.