India: Brothers share wife to secure family land

[Al-zakir]

HIMACHAL PRADESH, India (CNN) -- Amar and Kundan Singh Pundir are brothers. Younger brother Amar breaks rocks in a mine for a living. Kundan farms their small piece of inherited land. They live in a beautiful but remote hillside village in the clouds of Himachal Pradesh, India.

Kundar Singh Pundir, left, and his brother Amar, right, share Indira Devi, centre, as their wife.

1 of 2 Both aged in their forties, the two brothers have lived together nearly their whole lives. They are poor and share just about everything: Their home, their work and a wife.

"See we have a tradition from the beginning to have a family of five to 10 people. Two brothers and one wife." Kundan says.

They practice what is known as fraternal polyandry -- where the brothers of one family marry the same woman. Why? Tradition and economics.

Life is hard here. The village is precariously perched on the side of a very steep hill about 6,000ft up. Most of the villagers survive off tiny plots of cropland.

In this difficult terrain there isn't enough land to go around. So, instead of finding separate wives and splitting up their inherited property, the brothers marry the same woman and keep their land together.

Wife Indira Devi says life with two husbands isn't easy.

"We fight a lot."

But like any married couple they fight mostly over mundane stuff, except there are three spouses instead of two.

"Usually it's about chores, why didn't you do this? Why didn't you do that?" she says. Watch Sara Sidner's interview with the brothers »

One thing they agreed on was the need to have children; They have three. So how does a married trio deal with sex?

"We make shifts, change shifts and sleep on alternate days. We have to make shifts otherwise it won't work," Kundan says.

"To run our families we have to do this, overcome the hurdles as well and then we have to control our hearts from feeling too much," Amar adds.

To outsiders their arrangement may seem odd, but in the village of about 200 it is the norm.

Typically the marriages are arranged and women have two husbands. But some wives have three or four depending on how many brothers there are in a family.

Polyandry is illegal in India but socially acceptable here. No one from the government seems to bother the villagers about the law.

"It's been going on for ages. My sister in law has two husbands, my mother in law also has two husbands," Indira says.

And as to the question of which husband is the biological father of the children -- the Pundir's don't know and don't care.

"For me everyone is the same, my mother and my fathers are the same. My mother and my fathers are like God to me," 17-year old daughter Sunita Singh Pundir says.

Even as modern society arrives in this ancient village through satellite dishes and mobile phones, the Pundirs say they want their age-old tradition to continue with their children.

"Absolutely," eldest son Sohna says.

He and his younger brother have already discussed it and will marry the same woman.

Daughter Sunita isn't so sure.

"I would like one husband," she says.


But when asked if she will marry for love or tradition, Sunita's answer makes it clear the tradition of marrying more than one man will continue with the next generation.

"I will never leave our tradition even if I have to forgo love. I will never spoil my parents' reputation and my brothers


Brothers share wife to secure family land - CNN.com

 

[Zovc]

It is a tradition in some parts of India, here is a short documentary on the issue from CNN:

Hindu Tradition, 2 Men Married 1 Girl

 

[Captain03]

i heard about that
kinda disgusting though

 

[Torpedo]

i heard about that
kinda disgusting though

Why disgusting??

You are ok with having more than one wife, just because you are used to the concept.

Think without getting biased and you will find this practice equally disgusting.

 

[duhastmish]

In mahabhartahan epic (indian) 5 brother had one wife. I think its not right relationship, but then again its just like have 2 wife for a man. equally bad. Gender issues.

 

[afriend]

Yeah its kinda disgusting..!!! Man having 2 wives.. women having 2 husbands... 90 year old marrying 10 year old..

 

[pacifist]

Thanks God in Islam there is not Exploitation of woman like this. Strange very strange tradition of 1 woman having 4 husbands.

 

[Blossom]

Why disgusting??

You are ok with having more than one wife, just because you are used to the concept.

Think without getting biased and you will find this practice equally disgusting.

see when you know nothing about the concept how can you even comment on it? Its not a tradition nor a concept to have more than one or four wives.A Muslim can only marry more than Once if he's capable enough to do justice between the wives both financially and morally.
Without getting biased, I THOUGHT but still find it pretty hard to understand the concept of having more than husbands.

 

[afriend]

Thanks God in Islam there is not Exploitation of woman like this. Strange very strange tradition of 1 woman having 4 husbands.

Exploitation..!!! Didnt you know that muslims are allowed to have more than 1 wife. Is that exploitation??? it depends on how you look at it.?? it may be disgusting and a practise which should be surely done away with... but definitely not exploitation if it is done by mutual consent..as is the case here..!!!

 

[afriend]

see when you know nothing about the concept how can you even comment on it? Its not a tradition nor a concept to have more than one or four wives.A Muslim can only marry more than Once if he's capable enough to do justice between the wives both financially and morally.
Without getting biased, I THOUGHT but still find it pretty hard to understand the concept of having more than husbands.

Well your justification doesnt justify the hypocracy..!!!!!

 

[Rafael]

Well your justification doesnt justify the hypocracy..!!!!!

Its not hypocracy....In Islam there are alot of things that a man can do but a women cant and vice versa...hypocracy by no means..

 

[afriend]

Its not hypocracy....In Islam there are alot of things that a man can do but a women cant and vice versa...hypocracy by no means..

No no.. i didnt mean to billtle the customs ..!! Even though i personally dont agree about the concept of multiple partners...!! What i was trying to say is ridiculing a simliar practise done by another community is also not right..!!! There are communities where a lady have more than two husbands... even in kerala we have heard.. but that practise have become more and more less during the passage of time. You have a justification for multiple partners as they also do have the same..!!!! We cannot say that we can kill people because we are rich, but you cannot do so because you are poor... We both shouldnt kill.. right

 

[duhastmish]

see when you know nothing about the concept how can you even comment on it? Its not a tradition nor a concept to have more than one or four wives.A Muslim can only marry more than Once if he's capable enough to do justice between the wives both financially and morally.
Without getting biased, I THOUGHT but still find it pretty hard to understand the concept of having more than husbands.

A wife can have more than 1 husband if she is capable of doing justice between her husbands both physically morally mentally financially etc. etc. lol (pun intended)
f16 You know the whole idea of having more than 1 husband or wife is personal issue but as on personal basis its kind of disgusting and kind of downgrade the relation of wife and husband.

 

[Rafael]

No no.. i didnt mean to billtle the customs ..!! Even though i personally dont agree about the concept of multiple partners...!! What i was trying to say is ridiculing a simliar practise done by another community is also not right..!!! There are communities where a lady have more than two husbands... even in kerala we have heard.. but that practise have become more and more less during the passage of time. You have a justification for multiple partners as they also do have the same..!!!!

Thanks, well I think we should not criticize them, Its about their customs and traditions....and we surely know some more wierd customs than this....

Every body is on their own......

 

[pacifist]

see when you know nothing about the concept how can you even comment on it? Its not a tradition nor a concept to have more than one or four wives.A Muslim can only marry more than Once if he's capable enough to do justice between the wives both financially and morally.
Without getting biased, I THOUGHT but still find it pretty hard to understand the concept of having more than husbands.

The case of woman is different from men. A woman is different from man biologically and psychologically. A woman has already a lot of responsiblites of her home husband and children. It is a great burden on her to take care the needs and desires of more than one husband. This is a tradition in India which I again say expoliting woman increasing her responsiblites. Expolitation for d sake of or saving a piece of land. She is sacrificed for the piece of land among brothers.