How Pakistani-Americans are entering interfaith and interracial marriages — and making them work

[SMC]

Few observations based on this thread and my own personal experiences that I'd like to mention.

1. I don't think it's anyone business to tell anyone else whether they should or should not sleep around, drink around, etc.
2. However, at the same time, no one should tell a person that they should be open to being in a relationship with someone who has slept around, etc. That is really not any less nosey and intolerant than someone who goes around telling people they should not sleep around, etc. It is everyone's personal business so let it be. Especially if one avoided sleeping around, is a virgin, etc, then that person has every moral right to look for a partner that has done the same, i.e. is a virgin, hasn't had alcohol.

Even if one has slept around and wants a partner that is virgin, that may on surface appear hypocritical, but the reality a lot of people want partners that are different from themselves in certain ways.

3. Whoever equated watching p0rn to having sex is a complete and utter idiot.
4. This bullshit about "guys being free to do whatever they want but girls can't" bullshit has to stop. There's no such double standard so stop deluding yourselves. Every double standard girls face, guys face as well. The people in our community egg on guys who marry outside their culture, who sleep around, etc. So seriously cut this crap and start living in the real world.

If a husband's wife has repented and is not having boyfriends anymore and is sincere to him then there's no need to get angry or create a drama, live with her she'll be a good wife but if you've no guts and your backward thoughts keep messing you up then divorce is the option that Allah has given you , no need to taunt her all life and make her life a miserable one for her actions in past , free the woman and let her live life and you can keep wasting yourself to the miserable thoughts or marry another . Same applies to women , if she found her husband guilty of any bad deed , she should try improving him but if it doesn't work then no need to waste life and take all the beatings and curses from a drunk husband .
Unfortunately , divorce is a taboo here and in such cases both woman nd man has to suffer for the sake of their miserable relatives,.

You seem to be quite full of double standards yourself here.

1) In both cases, you only mention what happens if the husband doesn't listen. In the first case, the wife repents but husband doesn't listen. In the second case, the wife is ready to listen but husband doesn't repent. Why are you only limiting yourself to these scenarios?
2) So in one case, the wife has repented and is not having boyfriends anymore. If the husband doesn't accept that than he has no guts and has backwards thoughts, etc. On the other hand, if the husband did some bad deeds, "she should try improving him". No such mention in the first case, presumably suggesting only women can improve by themselves and men require women to improve them.

Nevermind the fact you don't quite understand the breach of trust problem. If one marries an individual with the assumption that they are a virgin, and it turns out that they are not, that is a huge breach of trust. An individual has a right to look for someone that is a virgin, and if you lie about it then you deserve what's coming.

 

[El Sidd]

Marriage is between two consenting adults and if they can make it work regardless of difference of culture, language or religion they have my best wishes going forward.

 

[Vazir]

Whoever equated watching p0rn to having sex is a complete and utter idiot.

I humbly apologize for my complete and utter idiocy, but would like to explain myself.
If you have sex, you are committing a sin. If you watch porno, you are encouraging one.
"But how, Vazir?"
Because every time you watch one, you add to it's views. That means that you add to it's demand. Demand increasing results in the supply increasing accordingly. Hence, porno increases, and so does the sin.
It's not like saying that people observing an assault are equally guilty. It's more complicated. Imagine a country where boxing is illegal, but there are underground fights. You watch the fight, and pay for the ticket (or don't). Either way, demand increases. And so does the supply. Fights tend to happen more often, and thus increasing in the number of violations of the law.
Hope that explains my idiocy.

 

[I.R.A]

Islam, says that a prostitute was forgiven by God because she showed mercy to a thirsty cat , Allah almighty ignored and forgave her all past but appreciated and honoured her for only one little merciful deed.

I am not interested in the debate that is happening in this thread (and don't know how it is even related to inter faith or inter race marriages) ............ but what you said above is not what Islam said .............. you read some story in some book that was written by a man. Islam has only one final unchangeable book that is Quran ............. and this cat story is not mentioned in that book.

 

[abdulbarijan]

@Vazir You do realize that you pretty much made a case against your own initial position about how 'watching p0rn and having s*x is the same thing' ?

 

[El Sidd]

I am not interested in the debate that is happening in this thread (and don't know how it is even related to inter faith or inter race marriages) ............ but what you said above is not what Islam said .............. you read some story in some book that was written by a man. Islam has only one final unchangeable book that is Quran ............. and this cat story is not mentioned in that book.

I do not know about any cat or anything but i guess the point here is that let God judge in his matter since Justice belongs to him alone.

Anything which can be perceived socially unacceptable comes under maintaining social order. For which humans can devise their own rules accordingly without oppressing anyone.

 

[I.R.A]

I do not know about any cat or anything but i guess the point here is that let God judge in his matter since Justice belongs to him alone.

Since when did God start letting ordinary people living on this Earth know how HE judged anyone?

I think we believe in a judgement day that is still to come.............. so how these people can even know about any judgment before that?

The point could have been made without bringing Islam into discussion. There could have been other more relevant example.

 

[Vazir]

@Vazir You do realize that you pretty much made a case against your own initial position about how 'watching p0rn and having s*x is the same thing' ?

My earlier case was that watching = doing. I stand by that. Because encouraging it tends to spread it more than doing it.

 

[Vazir]

I am not interested in the debate that is happening in this thread (and don't know how it is even related to inter faith or inter race marriages) ............ but what you said above is not what Islam said .............. you read some story in some book that was written by a man. Islam has only one final unchangeable book that is Quran ............. and this cat story is not mentioned in that book.

That would also rule Hadith out.

 

[El Sidd]

Since when did God start letting ordinary people living on this Earth know how HE judged anyone?

I think we believe in a judgement day that is still to come.............. so how these people can even know about any judgment before that?

The point could have been made without bringing Islam into discussion. There could have been other more relevant example.

No one knows how He judges or what is the criteria. It is His decision and we should let that be, the problem arises when humans try and play God in this world.

 

[I.R.A]

That would also rule Hadith out.

Anything written and collected by men is not necessarily Islam. That is my view you can disagree with that.

No one knows how He judges or what is the criteria. It is His decision and we should let that be, the problem arises when humans try and play God in this world.

If no one knows how HE judges then no one has the right to make up stories and present them as justification.

ALLAH is forgiving but HE is not unjust and unlawful. There is not a single thought that comes to my mind which HE won't ask me about. Even thoughts would get questioned forget about acting on those thoughts.

 

[Vazir]

Anything written and collected by men is not necessarily Islam. That is my view you can disagree with that.

Oh I agree wholeheartedly. I was just checking for any double standard.

 

[El Sidd]

Anything written and collected by men is not necessarily Islam. That is my view you can disagree with that.




If no one knows how HE judges then no one has the right to make up stories and present them as justification.

ALLAH is forgiving but HE is not unjust and unlawful. There is not a single thought that comes to my mind which HE won't ask me about. Even thoughts would get questioned forget about acting on those thoughts.

In the end it all comes down to the individual.

We are in the end responsible for social justice as we see fit in our society. Everything pertaining to Gods duty and will, that is to be left to him.

it is simple debate between huqooq ul ibad vs huqooq Allah. For us petty humans the dangerous bit is Huqooq ul Ibad because God is forgiving but Humans are not.

 

[I.R.A]

Oh I agree wholeheartedly. I was just checking for any double standard.

Like? I didn't say anything about sleeping or not sleeping and marrying or not marrying. I just replied to that cat story being peddled as something that Islam said.

 

[Vazir]

Like? I didn't say anything about sleeping or not sleeping and marrying or not marrying. I just replied to that cat story being peddled as something that Islam said.

Like I said, I was checking. A lot of people have double standards on what they would want to believe vs the Hadith compilation argument. I was looking. I didn't find any double standards tho.