How Pakistani-Americans are entering interfaith and interracial marriages — and making them work

[Well.wisher]

Well I can respect you having an opinion and sticking to it, although I disagree with it. It's like saying if a crowd watches one man assault another without intervening --- the crowd should also be charged with assault.

-You know what ... I can agree and fully support the first paragraph of your post of people needing to mind their own business. Secondly, many non-muslims who have engaged in adultery later on convert to islam, and many muslims start to practice islam later on in their lives ... so I'm even inclined to agree with your opinion about how PEOPLE shouldn't judge other people based off virginity.

-The ONLY disagreement though comes with the first position you took about how husbands shouldn't judge a wife who has slept around in her past life. Well guess what, that guy who married this girl didn't know that the girl had 3-4 boyfriends before they married and he was never made aware of the situation. In other words, that husband was deceived, just like a wife who discovers that his husband who was presented as a great man of morals is a drunk, gambles etc etc. The question now is; Why only vilify men when there is a breach of trust?

Well, men was never my subject in the argument because the starter argument objectified only women and I hate judging and mistreating anyone and poking nose in their lives .

As for men , well they're equally free human beings , if they're ever cheated by women or mistreated then they've equal rights to defend themselves.

If a husband's wife has repented and is not having boyfriends anymore and is sincere to him then there's no need to get angry or create a drama, live with her she'll be a good wife but if you've no guts and your backward thoughts keep messing you up then divorce is the option that Allah has given you , no need to taunt her all life and make her life a miserable one for her actions in past , free the woman and let her live life and you can keep wasting yourself to the miserable thoughts or marry another . Same applies to women , if she found her husband guilty of any bad deed , she should try improving him but if it doesn't work then no need to waste life and take all the beatings and curses from a drunk husband .
Unfortunately , divorce is a taboo here and in such cases both woman nd man has to suffer for the sake of their miserable relatives,.

 

[Well.wisher]

WELL THATS LIKE SOME REQUEST .......PLEASE YOUR INTRODUCTION .......is THEIR ANY PLACE CALLED YOUR REQUEST SUGGESTION HERE ARE WELCOME HERE ??? ITS T T P free PLACE ...same way we check T T P .....??ooyyee wahts your religion ?? and he forgots to tell any in KHI ?? then WHAT TOUGE YOU SPEAK forgets it again ?? NOW WHAT T T P CAUGHT SHALL I SHOW YOU THE CLIP ARMY PUT ON MEDIA ??

Your English makes me cry , my chinese friend .

 

[hussain0216]

I just want pakistanis to mind their own freakin business and mind their own miserable lives and try to improve it instead of poking nose in your neighbour's daughter , uncle's daughter or aunt's daughter lives and making a big fuss in all family and bashing a girl cause you saw her with a guy on car . That applies to both men and women here .

If you want a chaste muslim hijabi woman then go try finding her , don't waste life in degrading and judging the other women cause she doesn't wear hijab amd doesn't fit category of your ideal woman .



Yeah and you take responsibility of your actions .

Let women breathe , we don't want people like you controlling our lives and telling us how should we live and what should we do .

Let women get empowered in pakistan, we'll teach you what morality and equality means .

Take all the power and equality you want

But take responsibility for your actions also and accept that your actions can have consequences

Both men and women who are loose, sleep around and have partners can be stigmatised and rejected based upon how they have led their lives.

Pure men are for pure women

 

[Manama]

Pure men are for pure women

lmfao when people confuse stuff about heaven into this world

 

[Goenitz]

*Some names have been changed

the last one is not muslim?

 

[Well.wisher]

Take all the power and equality you want

But take responsibility for your actions also and accept that your actions can have consequences

Both men and women who are loose, sleep around and have partners can be stigmatised and rejected based upon how they have led their lives.

Pure men are for pure women

Whatever ,
I don't think you as a judge to judge the lives of all sinful people here .
Keep your consequences propoganda to yourself , I know God is merciful . And you and I are responsible and answerable for our deeds not the ones who do adultery . So nose out please and be merciful to the creation of God , sinner or saint , muslim or non muslim .. !
Ta ta

 

[Vazir]

Take all the power and equality you want

But take responsibility for your actions also and accept that your actions can have consequences

Both men and women who are loose, sleep around and have partners can be stigmatised and rejected based upon how they have led their lives.

Pure men are for pure women

Then pure men can just stay away from "impure women". Pure men can mingle with pure women and leave the "impure women" alone, without hate, without persecution. If you agree, then we can move forward and progress.

 

[Basel]

The problem is that society and men want the women to be pure but look the other way for men.

Problem in Islamic countries is that Islamic law is not enforced in its purest form and unbiasedly.

Islamic have categorically defined way of life and rights of men and women.

 

[Well.wisher]

[

Then pure men can just stay away from "impure women". Pure men can mingle with pure women and leave the "impure women" alone, without hate, without persecution. If you agree, then we can move forward and progress.

If they stayed away from the impure women and didnt bash them then how will they get a chance to prove or show off their purity to the world ? Huh

 

[Basel]

Exactly! Why do we discriminate, though? Allah will judge everyone Himself.

Allah will judge but Allah have also told how to live life and how a Islamic state / nation should work.

 

[Vazir]

Allah will judge but Allah have also told how to live life and how a Islamic state / nation should work.

Oh, yes. Live your life as you want all you want. Let others live theirs the way they want too. If their actions are wrong, Allah is sufficient enough to be the judge.

[


If they stayed away from the impure women and didnt bash them then how will they get a chance to prove or show off their purity to the world ? Huh

True. They have to demonstrate that they are pious!

 

[Manama]

Allah will judge but Allah have also told how to live life and how a Islamic state / nation should work.

Allah never gave any punishment for adultery or whatever "impurity" you name it, in this world. He also didn't say backbite these women and treat them like trash.

So continue treating them like trash, that will only take them to paradise and the ones claiming to be "pure" to hell, because thats what talking about someone behind their back and on their face badly does. Sin is between God and the sinner, not every other bystander.

 

[Basel]

Allah never gave any punishment for adultery or whatever "impurity" you name it, in this world. He also didn't say backbite these women and treat them like trash.

So continue treating them like trash, that will only take them to paradise and the ones claiming to be "pure" to hell, because thats what talking about someone behind their back and on their face badly does. Sin is between God and the sinner, not every other bystander.

There is very hard punishment for sex with out marriage and more harsher for those who are in marriage and having sex with someone with out marriage.

Quran and Hadith clearly tells how things in Muslim society and country should be done, sharia covers full spectrum of life.

 

[Manama]

There is very hard punishment for se x with out marriage and more harsher for those who are in marriage and having se x with someone with out marriage.

Quran and Hadith clearly tells how things in Muslim society and country should be done, sharia covers full spectrum of life.

What punishment? The only punishment that exists, is like i said, "NOT in THIS world", its either in the grave or hereafter, and there is something like repentance or other deeds, you don't know the affair between someone and God, so why try to stick your nose where it doesn't belong?

Quran and Hadith clearly tells that if your spouse cheats on you, either forgive them and move on OR divorce them. Thats all.

Even the "pure/impure" stuff doesn't have to do with vir-ginity but deeds and character, why twist the meaning to suit your ideals? My religion gives me honor for me, because i was created by the one who is perfect. And i love him and he loves me.
This honor and respect has nothing to do with a membrane.

 

[abdulbarijan]

Well, men was never my subject in the argument because the starter argument objectified only women and I hate judging and mistreating anyone and poking nose in their lives .

In your opening argument, you started with generalizing "Pakistani men", so you made it a subject by doing that (which is why you were met with the arguments I presented about "typical Pakistani women" ... )

As for men , well they're equally free human beings , if they're ever cheated by women or mistreated then they've equal rights to defend themselves. If a husband's wife has repented and is not having boyfriends anymore and is sincere to him then there's no need to get angry or create a drama, live with her she'll be a good wife but if you've no guts and your backward thoughts keep messing you up then divorce is the option that Allah has given you , no need to taunt her all life and make her life a miserable one for her actions in past , free the woman and let her live life and you can keep wasting yourself to the miserable thoughts or marry another . Same applies to women , if she found her husband guilty of any bad deed , she should try improving him but if it doesn't work then no need to waste life and take all the beatings and curses from a drunk husband .

Agreed on the initial part of equal and free human beings having the rights to defend themselves. However, I can't help but notice in that both of your scenarios, men are painted as 'the bad guy' ... So if your cheated on and are having a hard time trusting your spouse after she blatantly broke your trust .. your "backward and miserable" .. and ofcourse the drunk guy beating his wife example is designed with the guy being at fault ...

YOU as a lady, don't get to decide how men feel about certain things. You don't have the right to call anyone "gutless" whose been hurt by his wife who has DECEIVED him. If anything it's the WIFE, who is at fault to have been engaged in such activities. It is the WIFE who is the guilty party and has to make amends ... instead of shaming the guy for feeling that way by calling him "gutless and backward" ...

Based on your response ... one can easily go.... "well a drunk guy who beat the living heck out of his wife ... but repented and now is more sincere to her ... the wife should accept him as if nothing ever happened ... No need to create drama ... he'll live with her as a good husband but if she has NO GUTS and her backward thoughts keep messing with her brain, then khula is an option afforded to her" ...

Unfortunately , divorce is a taboo here and in such cases both woman nd man has to suffer for the sake of their miserable relatives,.

Extremes on both ends are really dangerous. In the case you mention, sometimes conditions arise where you HAVE TO separate (e.g. one spouse is physically very violent etc.) and in that case divorce being 'taboo' becomes a hindrance, however, in the case of let's say the west, divorce is common place, where a spouses file for divorces on a whim ... so both extremes are quite dangerous ...