Tbh I am kinda in a dark spot just like this brother. But hanging in there. It hurts the most when you find out that the people you loved and trusted. Were backstabbing you all along. And controlling/manipulating your mind all along.
Cling in there brother no matter how hard it gets. Allah is watching maybe this suffering will be expiation for your sins and a source to enter jannah. Maybe on the day of judgement when we see jannah we wish this suffering never ended. Instead we might wish for even more. Make continuous dua.
Once the sahaba approached the Prophet Muhammad and complained of the persecution of the Quraish. Our prophet alai salam said believers before us were tried even severe. They were told to relinquish the deen or be sawed in half. Allah also revealed the verses that talk about this:
Do you think that you will enter Paradise while you have not yet been visited by (difficult) circumstances like those that were faced by the people who passed away before you? They were afflicted by hardship and suffering, and were so shaken down that the prophet, and those who believed with him, started saying: “When (will come) the help of Allah?” (Then, they were comforted by the Prophet who said to them) ‘Behold, the help of Allah is near.’
So hold on to this bro. When you get whispers that say to you Mata nasrallah? Answer yourself by saying Ala nasrallah qareeb.
In another part Allah says:
And when My servants ask you, [O Muhammad], concerning Me - indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me. So let them respond to Me [by obedience] and believe in Me that they may be [rightly] guided.
In this life you will be shaken up to your core. In such times remind yourself. Force yourself to remember that Allah is near. Bro this life is very short with its ups and downs. The next life is eternal. Remember Allah and He will remember you. Do not forget him for who forgets Allah, Allah makes him forget himself.
