So I finally decided to tie the knot with my fiancé. We have been dating for last three years and no strangers to each other. It was typical Indian wedding, very extravagant and all. Everyone enjoyed and I was broke. Had to lend money from my sister for even more extravagant holiday trip (god bless you dollar for being so strong against Rupee!).
Anyway here are some tips from my experience to the bachelors who are going to be/wishes to be married!
1. Photography as hobby is cool, as long as you take her pictures and make her look like Bollywood actress. But god forbid if you take 15 minutes to set your tripod up and another 45 to tinker the exposure and aperture to capture this amazing sunset in an wonderful place where you are alone with your newlywed wife, you are screwed up and sideways. This is going to haunt you for rest of your trip and back home!
2. If you are agnostic/atheist, please throw away your lack of belief and skepticism for few days and follow the wedding rituals as if they are client requirements! And dont ever mess with her gods; you wouldnt want a suicide bomber at your home, would you?
3. Get rid of all eccentricities which you thought were cool in bachelor life. No more superhero movies, underground metal movements are strict NO. Neo noir and latest from Tarantino can wait. Brace yourself for Tagore plays and songs. If you are brave enough try to embrace Star Jalsa. Remember even Tony Stark had to destroy all his cool iron suits and fix his heart after getting married, and you are but mere mango people.
4. Dont be too absorbed unto yourself. Your gorgeous and
more qualified than you wife needs more attention. Try to sing Wonderful Tonight in an endless loop every time she takes 3 hours to get ready for the party. You better be as good if not better than Clapton.
5. Remember life is not a debate in Internet forums. Dont get too smart with your words and point out the obvious logical fallacies in her argument. Words you can counter but youd be helpless against her shedding tears and various inanimate and animated objects she will throw at you.
6. Be grateful that she married you, remember there are
so many reason she couldn't have married you.
Jokes aside, its been wonderful journey so far, there have been few hiccups and so much fun and happiness. I hope it will remain as it is for rest of our lives together!
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Wrote it for my blog, thought of sharing it to my friends in PDF as well. Please wish me luck and happiness and Moderators please dont award me any infraction for next couple of years. Remember I already attract enough points for taking my time off and post here which she thinks will culminate into raid of law agencies at my home in future!
!biye ta ki kolkatay korbe naki bideshe
