A.Rahman
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English is a Silly Language
There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
And while no one knows what is in a hotdog,
you can be pretty sure it isnââ¬â¢t canine.
English muffins were not invented in England
nor French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads,
which arenââ¬â¢t sweet, are meat.
But if we explore its paradoxes,
we find that quicksand can work slowly,
boxing rings are square,
and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
If the plural of tooth is teeth,
why isnââ¬â¢t the plural of booth, beeth?
One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese?
Is cheese the plural of choose?
One mouse, 2 mice.
One louse, 2 lice.
One house, 2 hice?
If teacher taught, why didnââ¬â¢t preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
what does a humanitarian eat?
Why do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?
Ship by truck or car and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and wise guy are opposites?
How can the weather be hot as hell one day
and cold as hell another?
When a house burns up, it burns down.
You fill in a form by filling it out
and alarm clock goes off by going on.
You get in and out of a car,
yet you get on and off a bus.
When the stars are out, they are visible,
but when the lights are out, they invisible.
And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it,
but when I wind up this essay, I end it?
There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
And while no one knows what is in a hotdog,
you can be pretty sure it isnââ¬â¢t canine.
English muffins were not invented in England
nor French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads,
which arenââ¬â¢t sweet, are meat.
But if we explore its paradoxes,
we find that quicksand can work slowly,
boxing rings are square,
and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
If the plural of tooth is teeth,
why isnââ¬â¢t the plural of booth, beeth?
One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese?
Is cheese the plural of choose?
One mouse, 2 mice.
One louse, 2 lice.
One house, 2 hice?
If teacher taught, why didnââ¬â¢t preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
what does a humanitarian eat?
Why do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?
Ship by truck or car and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and wise guy are opposites?
How can the weather be hot as hell one day
and cold as hell another?
When a house burns up, it burns down.
You fill in a form by filling it out
and alarm clock goes off by going on.
You get in and out of a car,
yet you get on and off a bus.
When the stars are out, they are visible,
but when the lights are out, they invisible.
And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it,
but when I wind up this essay, I end it?