The problem is Indian arrogance. The Indians refuse to treat their neighbours as compeers and India actively shows disrespect to them, often discoursing in a sententious manner.
In the case of Sri Lanka, for example, the Indians armed, trained and funded a terrorist group called the LTTE that led to decades of war and thousands of deaths in the island. No remorse has been shown, although shrill voices of outrage are heard about sponsorship of "cross border terrorism" in India. The Indians refused to and continue to refuse to have a full defence relationship with the Sri Lanka. Their politicians continue to voice support for terrorists and separatism in Sri Lanka without a modicum of opposition, yet any mention of Kashmir, Assam or Arunachal Pradesh has the Indians fuming in rage. India does absolutely nothing about thousands of Tamil Nadu fisherman poaching daily in Sri Lankan waters, yet demands their immediate release when they are arrested. India refuses to invest in Sri Lankan projects even when the Sri Lankan government approaches them first, yet cries foul when countries like China take their place.
When these issues are pointed out, in the hope of reform for the betterment of the region, the typical Indian retort is that everyone else is "jealous" of them and "can't stand to see their development." Nevermind the fact that citizens of countries such as Sri Lanka have a higher quality of life, are richer and are part of an economy that is expanding faster than India's. Everyone who criticizes India is an enemy, apparently, and deserves to be shredded and publicly humiliated. The Indians, quite unfortunately, do not seem to understand that there may be many people and countries who do not hate India and who are very willing to work with India in a spirit of brotherhood for mutual benefit but are yet unhappy about India's bellicose and aggressive behaviour, including its tendency to politically manipulate affairs in neighbouring countries.
Now await the typical Indian comments about how how a single nuclear bomb will take care of the issue and how "if every Indian urinated x country would down" or how all India needs to do is "send in some jets." These are the fine intellectual arguments they are able to muster and they seem to be so widespread one wonders whether such clarity of thought is shared by those who run India's government and foreign affairs because they have clearly failed in the region and continue to do so. If India is to effect a change then it must first start by modifying its attitude.