Comedy in Pakistan: Who’d have thought?

[illusion8]

I am in the US. I arrived at the US immigration and waited patiently in line. I never ever have problems at Immigration because to the Americans I look Mexican and I have an English accent, the officials get so confused it really doesn't cross their minds that I could be anything of any danger.

This time I flew into Orlando airport, and the kind looking white male officer called me forward.

I passed him my British passport, he saw my US visa inside and he said, “What do you do?”

“I’m a comedian.” He looked at my face and laughed out loud, as though this in itself was the biggest joke.

“Where do you do that?”

“All over the world.”

He laughs again out loud and says, “Really?”

“Yes, really.”

“What type of material do you do?”

“I talk about anything and everything whatever I see, observational.”

There was a long pause. He looked at my passport then looked at me and said, “Are you of Pakistani heritage?”

I said, “No, I’m Indian.” I thought I don’t want to get into some kind of Q&A about whether or not I am related to Osama Bin Laden. Technically, I am Indian. My mother was born in India before partition so it wasn't a lie.

He says, “So why do you have a Pakistani Visa in your passport?”

“Because I toured there.”

“What, comedy?”

“Yes, comedy.”

“Did they get it?”

“Yes.”

“What language did you speak?”

“English.”

“And they got it?”

“Yes.”

“How do you know?”

“Because they laughed.”

“They laughed? Do you specialise in Pakistani jokes?”

“No.”

“So what do you talk about?”

“All kinds of things. Life.”

“So you’re observational?”

“Yes.”

There was another long pause. He looked at my passport, looked at me, and said, “Are you sure?”

“Sure about what?” I replied.

“Sure about everything you've told me.”

“Yes, of course I am.”

He then sat there and laughed out loud for about three minutes.

He said, “I've heard it all now. I've heard everything. This is something else. Comedy in Pakistan, who’d have thought, hey?”

I said, “Are you going to let me in, or are you just going to sit there chatting me up and laughing in my face all day.”

“Since you've made me laugh, I think I’ll let you in. Have a nice day.”

When I arrived at my show and told the Pakistani’s there what had happened they couldn't believe it.

“What? They didn't believe that Pakistani’s laugh? Do they think we are inhuman? Is this what they think of us?”

I had to tell them, that the Immigration Officer had actually laughed all the way through my time at passport control. So he must at least have found something about me funny. I was quite surprised at his reaction, because it had never happened to me before in all the years I have been coming to the US.

I have never flown into Orlando before; maybe its just Florida that thinks like this, maybe it’s just Orlando, or maybe it’s just him. I wouldn't want to judge all immigration officers in the US in the same way, that one man thinks that all people with Pakistani visa’s in their passports are humourless, comedy unfriendly, backward individuals that wouldn't know a joke if it shot them in the face with a handgun.

I hope that I in someway changed his mind about something, anything. We certainly had a laugh together and I quite liked him. I just think he hadn't travelled very far. Probably beyond the immigration booth in which he sat.

Not his fault then. You can’t blame him. Let me be a bit thick, a bit stupid and a bit ignorant.

He probably gets all his information from CNN, thinks that everyone in Pakistan lives in a cave and has never laughed, and the last time he saw a brown funny woman was on South Park, and she was imaginary.

But we both liked each other, we both got on, neither of us felt any animosity towards each other and most of all, he gave me some great new material.

Comedy in Pakistan: Who?d have thought? - DAWN.COM

She is quite funny.

 

[A.Rafay]

Who is she? ?

 

[Dubious]

I didnt know British passport holders needed a visa into US.... thought they roamed around the world like the owned it except some parts of Asia...

 

[Jungibaaz]

I didn't it it funny.

Maybe I am one of those humorless backwards Pakistanis.

 

[RangerPK]

Umm.. I don't find ..their conversation funny.. and what I get from what is implied is that ,Americans think Muslim brown people are unfunny, humorless, as hell. And when some American actually laughs at their, apparently lame jokes ,its some how news worthy...to be on dawn... I find this pathetic really. Also it's kina insulting too.

We have really talented male and female comedians here in Pakistan. Not sure why we are reporting unpopular, apparently confused and unfunny foreign comedians on our news. It's not even entertaining, it's a bizarre train wreck...



PS: Indians seem to be spending way to much time reading dawn...

 

[illusion8]

I thought she was famous in Pakistan or something - didn't know you guys hate her or something...

 

[Jungibaaz]

I thought she was famous in Pakistan or something - didn't know you guys hate her or something...

Never heard of her for one. Didn't find the story all too funny either.
Rather an insight into how negatively some people in the US might view us.
Then, calling herself Indian? Yh... well, that wouldn't go down well with us.

 

[sanddy]

I am in the US. I arrived at the US immigration and waited patiently in line. I never ever have problems at Immigration because to the Americans I look Mexican and I have an English accent, the officials get so confused it really doesn't cross their minds that I could be anything of any danger.

This time I flew into Orlando airport, and the kind looking white male officer called me forward.

I passed him my British passport, he saw my US visa inside and he said, “What do you do?”

“I’m a comedian.” He looked at my face and laughed out loud, as though this in itself was the biggest joke.

“Where do you do that?”

“All over the world.”

He laughs again out loud and says, “Really?”

“Yes, really.”

“What type of material do you do?”

“I talk about anything and everything whatever I see, observational.”

There was a long pause. He looked at my passport then looked at me and said, “Are you of Pakistani heritage?”

I said, “No, I’m Indian.” I thought I don’t want to get into some kind of Q&A about whether or not I am related to Osama Bin Laden. Technically, I am Indian. My mother was born in India before partition so it wasn't a lie.

He says, “So why do you have a Pakistani Visa in your passport?”

“Because I toured there.”

“What, comedy?”

“Yes, comedy.”

“Did they get it?”

“Yes.”

“What language did you speak?”

“English.”

“And they got it?”

“Yes.”

“How do you know?”

“Because they laughed.”

“They laughed? Do you specialise in Pakistani jokes?”

“No.”

“So what do you talk about?”

“All kinds of things. Life.”

“So you’re observational?”

“Yes.”

There was another long pause. He looked at my passport, looked at me, and said, “Are you sure?”

“Sure about what?” I replied.

“Sure about everything you've told me.”

“Yes, of course I am.”

He then sat there and laughed out loud for about three minutes.

He said, “I've heard it all now. I've heard everything. This is something else. Comedy in Pakistan, who’d have thought, hey?”

I said, “Are you going to let me in, or are you just going to sit there chatting me up and laughing in my face all day.”

“Since you've made me laugh, I think I’ll let you in. Have a nice day.”

When I arrived at my show and told the Pakistani’s there what had happened they couldn't believe it.

“What? They didn't believe that Pakistani’s laugh? Do they think we are inhuman? Is this what they think of us?”

I had to tell them, that the Immigration Officer had actually laughed all the way through my time at passport control. So he must at least have found something about me funny. I was quite surprised at his reaction, because it had never happened to me before in all the years I have been coming to the US.

I have never flown into Orlando before; maybe its just Florida that thinks like this, maybe it’s just Orlando, or maybe it’s just him. I wouldn't want to judge all immigration officers in the US in the same way, that one man thinks that all people with Pakistani visa’s in their passports are humourless, comedy unfriendly, backward individuals that wouldn't know a joke if it shot them in the face with a handgun.

I hope that I in someway changed his mind about something, anything. We certainly had a laugh together and I quite liked him. I just think he hadn't travelled very far. Probably beyond the immigration booth in which he sat.

Not his fault then. You can’t blame him. Let me be a bit thick, a bit stupid and a bit ignorant.

He probably gets all his information from CNN, thinks that everyone in Pakistan lives in a cave and has never laughed, and the last time he saw a brown funny woman was on South Park, and she was imaginary.

But we both liked each other, we both got on, neither of us felt any animosity towards each other and most of all, he gave me some great new material.

Comedy in Pakistan: Who?d have thought? - DAWN.COM

She is quite funny.

One more pretending to be Indian to avoid Questioning , and some on pdf says they didn't have seen anyone doing this

 

[illusion8]

Never heard of her for one. Didn't find the story all too funny either.
Rather an insight into how negatively some people in the US might view us.
Then, calling herself Indian? Yh... well, that wouldn't go down well with us.

She did mention that her mother was from pre partitioned India, so I don't see a problem with that. I saw a couple of her videos on youtube and she was quite funny. The prejudice is what's she's highlighting and making the prejudice funny, but one can make out that little bit of anguish about being stereotyped. Also such artists promote soft power so you guys must encourage it.

 

[Liquidmetal]

I know I know I am gonna get me a new a**hole ripped into me but there aren't that many funny women out there, and most stick to the lame fat, cellulite, hairy, ugly, getting old as I am fat/ugly/old hairy and isn't that funny? Nope it ain't.

Shazia Mirza is not bad but could have stuck up a bit more for Pakistan considering she is British Pak!! and sadly yes she does do the I am an asian girl with a hairy upper lip problem... sigh...

 

[Raja.Pakistani]

One more pretending to be Indian to avoid Questioning , and some on pdf says they didn't have seen anyone doing this

You and her both are stupid. look what she said

I thought I don’t want to get into some kind of Q&A about whether or not I am related to Osama Bin Laden. Technically, I am Indian. My mother was born in India before partition so it wasn't a lie.


as if OBL is/was Pakistani

On Topic: I did not know about her either

 

[Jungibaaz]

She did mention that her mother was from pre partitioned India, so I don't see a problem with that. I saw a couple of her videos on youtube and she was quite funny. The prejudice is what's she's highlighting and making the prejudice funny, but one can make out that little bit of anguish about being stereotyped. Also such artists promote soft power so you guys must encourage it.

Perhaps she does have some good material, but like I said, in response to what you asked.
I didn't find this funny, nor had I ever heard of her before. She has a valid claim to say that she has roots in India, but she really could have stuck up for her nation, wrong on her part if you ask me.

One more pretending to be Indian to avoid Questioning , and some on pdf says they didn't have seen anyone doing this

Hand on heart, no Pakistanis I know or have come across has tried to pretend to be Indian or some other non-Pakistani nationality.
Some I met in London call themselves 'British first' or 'British only.' But even that is rare.

 

[shuntmaster]

She wears a Hijab, but her punchlines seems to make fun of Islamists and Islam.

 

[sanddy]

Another similar article on her experience in Pakistan .

Halal comedy? You might as well ask for halal bacon | Shazia Mirza | Comment is free | The Guardian

In all the countries that I have travelled to to perform standup comedy – the United States being a regular destination – I have never been held up or interrogated at customs. Or I hadn't,
until I arrived in Pakistan last week.

I spent six hours at Lahore customs, as I did not have a visa in my British passport to enter the country. The people who organised my gig had
mistakenly assumed that because my parents were born in Pakistan and I too am brown, they would automatically let me in.

The customs officer asked: "Are you Pakistani?" Yes. "Where were you born?" England. "That makes you a foreigner." I get called a foreigner in my parents' country of birth, and I get called a foreigner in my own country of birth.

He looked through my passport, which is filled with US visas. He said: "Are you a spy?" No, I'm a standup comedian. "What's that?" I tell jokes.
"And will you be doing that in this country?" Yes. "Oh, is this the entertainment for the Taliban?" he
asked, quite seriously. No, I replied.
He said: "What I should do is deport you, but if you give me $100,
I'll see what I can do."
I paid it. I got in.

My first performance took place at the Lahore University of Management Sciences (Lums). The audience was made up mainly of lecturers and
students, and as I arrived I was told:
"Don't worry about performing – we've stepped up security because peopleknew you were coming."
The fact that there needed to be security at all to tell jokes indicated danger. Pakistan is a sexually repressed country, and that is the root of many
of its problems.

The last time I performed in Lahore I was told: "You can talk about anything you like – religion, politics, drugs, you can swear and curse, just don't mention 'The Sex'."
Any sexual words or connotations werebanned – because in Pakistan there is no mention of sex on television, radio, or in public.

In Lahore this time I am told by armed security personnel before going on stage: "Be careful, it's best you only do halal comedy." Halal comedy? There is no such thing. That's like saying, I only
eat halal bacon.

I had some requests from members of the audience who came to my dressing room before the show to ask me specifically to do jokes about sex and religion. Which is what I had
intended to do, anyway.
After the gig I had to have two armed bodyguards outside my bedroom while I slept. (That's no use: I need uniformed men in my bed, not outside
it.)

I then went to perform two hours away in Karachi. The audience consisted of young people, old people, women in burqas and groups of men – all sitting on the floor together. The doors were locked as soon as all the audience were in, and once again armed security
guards stood outside.

On arrival I was told by the organiser:
"The Pakistani Taliban are infiltrating down to the outskirts of Karachi now, so be careful with what you say. It's best not to talk about religion, or sex,
and don't mention the word "gay"." Why? "Because gay doesn't exist in Pakistan," she explained.

Pakistan believes it has freedom of speech, but the only freedom you have is to comply with the speech they want to hear. She continued: "There is a law against making any jokes about
President Zardari. You cannot make any jokes about him in public and you are not allowed to text any jokes to your friends about him, otherwise you will be put in prison."

When you tell a comedian not to do something, well. I made a joke about President Zardari. The audience loved it. They laughed like they had never laughed before.

The people in authority in Pakistan are telling the public what they can and cannot say, how to behave and what to wear – and this is totally incongruous with what the people really want. All
the things the audience laughed at are the things they are most repressed about. Jokes about sex, religion and politics got the most laughter.

After the show I was invited to a party.
I walked in, to be offered a joint of marijuana, followed by a joint of opium, followed by vodka and then a discussion on ****.

I was asked: "What's your favourite **** film?" I have never watched ****. I tried to lie but I couldn't think of a **** movie, so I told the truth: I've never watched ****. This was met with "You've never watched ****?
Let us show you some!"

A collection of 600 films was pulled out from behind the bookcase. I was then offered a male Russian hooker for the night.

There it is – the hypocrisy of a sexually repressed, censored society: I can't say "gay" on stage, but after the show, opium and prostitutes are on offer.

 

[RangerPK]

I haven't heard of her. Nor she claims to be a Pakistani, but rather someone from Indian origins who is a Muslim living in Britain. So I guess she is a foreigner, who is a self proclaimed comedian. She visited Pakistan....and....so...?.??? Why is it a big deal? Very nice of her....and why is that even news worthy? I don't understand???? If anything, this puts Dawn news credibility to question...

Next thing we know, they would be reporting... A story of a foreigner, in a foreign country, talking about something not even remotely related to Pakistan. A conversation between two people, of what they had for lunch perhaps? Seriously...

Dawn news is now trolling. They need to take care of this troll news piece. Make sure such low quality journalism doesn't tarnish the credibility of dawn...