Aren’t we Indians and our cross-border Pakistani brothers the most misunderstood and most distanced beings on earth? We have allowed politicians and game players to play with the lives and love of our subcontinent for too long. From the time of the British rule we have allowed our emotions to be used as toys of politicians who have used our religion, racial status, caste, creed and colour against each other to keep us divided.
The cultural heritage and the immense similarity in looks, language, food, style quotient and history have conjoined India and Pakistan in a unique bond, which if cashed can make us the strongest community in the Asian region, and perhaps even a bigger market and contender to China or any other country in the world.
The heritage and traditions are so deeply rooted that we make up one race. We have shown it in Dubai and many other countries that we can work together in one company, in one business establishment, in one school, and in one hotel, on one single principle, all following the law and abiding by mutual respect for each other. Then why do the same people who love each other so much when we meet each other are made to inculcate the spirit of political hatred? Why can’t we love and cooperate with each other the way we do the world over? What happens to us when we suddenly become victims of newspaper reports, hate speeches, selfish motives of leaders and talks by religious scholars who claim to be our leaders?
In the name of Hinduism or Islamic fundamentals we start twisting and turning what our secular and tolerant religions have taught us: to love each other.
We — my wife and I — just made a seven-day trip to Pakistan, and it has changed our fundamentals of hospitality. I don’t think hospitality needs any redefinition because our Pakistan hosts have totally changed the standards of hospitality. The warmth, the courtesy and the welcome we received right from the word go as we stepped across the ‘No-Man’s Land’ our fears suddenly vanished. We were inundated by messages from our Delhi friends: “Are you safe?” “Are you sure you want to go to Pakistan?” “Why are you playing with your life? And so on and so forth.
As soon as we had our first contact with a Pakistani immigration officer we felt warmth and a feeling of welcome. From there onwards whether it was our driver or our hosts, shopkeepers or restaurant waiters, musicians or sales staff at any store, wherever we revealed our nationality we were given food, cups of tea, gifts, sweets and invitations. And ergo from the second day onwards, we proudly started telling everyone we were from India rather than feeling scared of sharing our identity. Everywhere, being Indian worked to our advantage.
Any small thing that we would even mention at a social gathering, a shop or a restaurant, our hosts would go out of their way to make it happen. Not even once were we made to feel that we were the only Indians in a large crowd. Rather, we were lifted upwards in every aspect, were given so much love and respect and were received with such enthusiasm that we began to question ourselves: why this drama of hatred, why the bloodshed, why the wrath.
How do people have so much time to be friendly?
A stark difference between people in Delhi and Lahore is that people in Lahore somehow take time out to be friendly, without seeming to be in a hurry; whomever you meet they seem to have time, and you don’t get the feeling that they are in a rush. This is a very important difference that you feel.
What is the tehzeeb and nazakat that we only discerned when we spent seven days in Lahore, words that don’t really have any equivalent in English or Hindi but can only be felt and experienced once you are physically in Lahore?
Human beings are similar the world over; all of us need love, honesty, happiness and peace of mind, and we naturally gravitate towards where we find these things.
I also noticed in my social interactions with families in Lahore that they are no longer obsessed with India or have the ‘hate India’ feeling running in their veins. In fact, there is genuine interest, and even admiration for the multi-cultural and multi-diverse country called India — its strong democracy, its colourful traditions and cultures, its cinema, food and music. The biggest brand ambassador for India is, undoubtedly, Bollywood, and no one in Lahore says a word against Indian movies or music.
Our impressions of cross-border culture differences just vanished when we interacted with so many families in Lahore. Pakistanis are just like us: loving, hospitable and perfect hosts. So no matter what politicians and cynics on both sides would have us believe Indians and Pakistanis have so much in common, and resemble each other in ways like no two other countries or cultures do. Even our problems are similar.
India and Pakistan have the same history, the same heritage and the same past. And as Mr Syed who is a Middle East columnist said: “Whatever the circumstances and reasons of our separation into two nations, all that we shared and still do is too great to be forsaken for the whims and fancies of politicians.”
The wedding hospitality was something I must mention. We have attended several destination weddings around the world where every little detail is taken care of by the hosts, and every arrangement has been made. But in Lahore even the mere mention of us liking something was enough to ensure that Naveed Sheikh — our host — and his family, fulfilled it; we were pampered like kings and queens.
Yes, social functions do seem a bit dry when there are no fine wines and alcohol being served, and all lights in a hotel are literally switched off at 10 pm so everybody has to wind up
and leave!
Let us learn to appreciate and enjoy this camaraderie and love amongst the people, and not let our minds get influenced by what is stated in political speeches, and electronic and print media.
The writer is a Delhi-based entrepreneur who runs wellness and healthcare centres across India and the Middle East. He is a regular speaker at various international forums
http://dailytimes.com.pk/opinion/12-Sep-16/changed-perspectives-of-cross-border-hospitality
@banvanaxl
