Being Born a Pakistani is Very Hard for Pakistanis living in USA! :(

[Iota]

My parents are really conservative Pakistani parents, but I love them and they are really nice hardworking people. They will want me to have an arranged marriage with someone from Pakistan. I was raised in USA and I don't think I will want to marry anyone from Pakistan since I'm a really open minded person and would consider anyone from any country and also because I'm not Muslim and don't follow Islam.

I will probably end up marrying someone of a different country other than Pakistan. I can't even date because my parents are so conservative.

I know if my parents ever find out I want to marry someone outside of Pakistan, it will be hard for them to accept. Not to mention if they find out I don't believe in Islam that would cause a lot of emotional pain to them. I really feel sad.

Maybe not marrying at all is the best choice for me if I don't want to hurt my parents.

 

[Juice]

It is easy to poke fun at aranged marriage, but some cultures figured out long ago that such an importantant economic decision (and in the past a marriage WAS an economic choice) was best not left to a young persons hormones. Things are different now, but from what I understand arranged marriage has as much chance to last and be happy as any. (Being western, none for me. But I have been engaged several times and date mostly now. How would things be different if I had an arranged marriage I wonder)

As far as sticking to Pakistani, would they totaly freak if you brought another race home?

(My parents are rather liberal, white, black and hispanic girls I've dated, they haven't minded)

 

[truth is here]

what do u believe in if u dont believe in islam?are u an atheist?

 

[third eye]

Not marrying at all is an option provided you really do not want to marry. However if you chose not to marry simply because you do not want to hurt your parents than you are wrong. Like all parents they would like & look forward to their child getting married - you'll hurt them even more.

Why are you scared to speak with them ? .. and how long a can you avoid it ?

Nothing wrong with arranged marriages ( even though I did not have one ) after all your parents had one .

Still, should you feel strongly about what you have written above the answer is to bite the bullet - speak up. Parents are not enemies.

Half our lives are spent in wondering if we should or should not do something , the other half is spent is why we didn't.

 

[Iota]

It is easy to poke fun at aranged marriage, but some cultures figured out long ago that such an importantant economic decision (and in the past a marriage WAS an economic choice) was best not left to a young persons hormones. Things are different now, but from what I understand arranged marriage has as much chance to last and be happy as any. (Being western, none for me. But I have been engaged several times and date mostly now. How would things be different if I had an arranged marriage I wonder)

As far as sticking to Pakistani, would they totaly freak if you brought another race home?

(My parents are rather liberal, white, black and hispanic girls I've dated, they haven't minded)

Well if it's an arranged marriage then the girl will be a Muslim and I'm not a Muslim so we wouldn't be allowed to marry anyway since Islam doesn't allow it.

How are your parents allowing you to even date at all? Are they Muslim? Just wondering how one could possibly justify it Islamically. You're lucky that your parents are really liberal.

 

[Tiki Tam Tam]

It is a difficult call for you.

You cannot displease your parents, nor are you ready to go your way as your conscience dictates.

Not to marry is a choice. Would that not also displease your parents since conservative people want to have grandchildren at their knees to play with and teach them the good things of life, which the parents are unable to do, since they are busy with their job and earning their keep?

Maybe you can talk to your parents and tell them the qualities you want in your wife so that they hunt for a choice that meets your desire,

Obviously, they won't be able to find one, they being conservative and your ideas being totally opposite to theirs.

They will then tire out and accept anything that you want to marry. Always remember, parents are equally keen to have grandchildren and so play on that aspect and, who knows, you might be the winner!

 

[truth is here]

Well if it's an arranged marriage then the girl will be a Muslim and I'm not a Muslim so we wouldn't be allowed to marry anyway since Islam doesn't allow it.

How are your parents allowing you to even date at all? Are they Muslim? Just wondering how one could possibly justify it Islamically. You're lucky that your parents are really liberal.

are your parents muslim?

 

[Black Widow]

what do u believe in if u dont believe in islam?are u an atheist?

Why are u mixing Islam to his personal choice???? Please stop mixing Islam every where....

Dear Lota (Funny name!) I would suggest you, please date some Pakistani-American Muslim girl, You will get a American girl and your parent will get a akistani girl... Please don marry to some one whom you don't want to marry...

White gals are very difficult to mix in our (Ind0-Pak) culture, infact they don't accept our culture, so do we.. Even if you want to marry some white gal, please tell her all circumstances, ask her to be with ur parent couple of day. If she is ok with it, you can marry her...

 

[Ghareeb_Da_Baal]

I find it equally odd when abcd's decide in principle that they wont marry in the ir own culture.
Equally weird. Marry whoever you wish but dont be a dick. I am sure Paksitani chicks wont be at a loss.
Lastly, if you are hiding who you really are then u aint no american either. You peopel pick and choose what
serves ur purpose up-till whatever time.

R u in cali by any chance and from punjab back ground????

 

[Ghareeb_Da_Baal]

I hear ya bro iam raised here my whole life in the US.. be strong have faith in ALLAH. Plus why don't you try looking on your own with offocurse the approvel of your parents try finding someone your self thats what iam doing so help US ALLAH try shaadi.com or Qiran.com if you need anything else do let me know will help you like my own brother he happy not the end of the world bro

Beta ji.he is not a muslim. re-read his post.
He is just super confused & probably also still exploring his sexual leanings..............just sayin.

 

[Iota]

what do u believe in if u dont believe in islam?are u an atheist?

I don't believe in religion. I'm a secular humanist (Secular humanism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia).

 

[Chinese-Dragon]

I don't believe in religion. I'm a secular humanist (Secular humanism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia).

How about marrying a Pakistani girl who is non-religious?

 

[Vibs]

How about marrying a Pakistani girl who is non-religious?

I don't think that species exists

 

[Jade]

I would say try convince your parents. Please remember by marrying a girl you don’t like you are creating hell for you and the girl

 

[Black Widow]

I don't believe in religion. I'm a secular humanist (Secular humanism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia).

What bout ur parent? Are they the same??? if not it will be a mess... girl has to stay with parent as well... (If you decide to stay in combined family) , Go per my suggestion, look for American-pakistani girl (may or may not of your caste/religion). U will be happy, your parent will be happy...

Well if it's an arranged marriage then the girl will be a Muslim and I'm not a Muslim so we wouldn't be allowed to marry anyway since Islam doesn't allow it.

American law is not based on Islamic sharia.... Once you get registred marriage in USA, no matter Muslim or non-Muslim, you are married....