Is being born as a girl really a curse?
There is something that I havent been able to forget for a day since last 21 months & 25 days when I had just come back with my new-born daughter. Though my husband had deserted us (the mother & the child) at the hospital itself, I was happy. The gate watchman at my parents house asked us, Is it a Boy and I replied happily, its my sweet daughter. He became sad and said with a crying gesture, Oh Dont worry. Next time God will give a son. Initially I avoided the notion but when neighbourhood aunties also went on in the same lingo, I have asked this question every since, to myself Is being born as a girl really a curse that everyone wishes boyhood for you?
However, somehow I have been able to pin down the problem that is prevalent in the Indian society.
All cultured girls in India, no matter what religion they come from, are taught from the childhood by their parents that the house in which they are born is not actually theirs rather they are like guests and one day they need to go to their real home, that is of their husband and in-laws. The girls have to manage and adjust in their so-called actual homes, no matter what the case is. And today if you look at it legally, married women do not have any ownership of shared marital households.
Married women not only have to deal with ever rising demands from in-laws (which many a times ruin the happiness of the households they were born in) & work as a domestic help, but also deal with physical, social, emotional & physical harassments coming from their darling husbands, or should we say, pati parmeshwar (meaning a husband who has a stature not lower than God for his wife).
Women fast for the long life of their husbands in the name of rituals. They are denied right to wear colour if the husband dies. And in case of divorcees, they are looked down upon as if it was all their fault for the breakdown of marriage. Most of our society does not even consider women to be human beings if they are stuck in a bad marriage. Things are changing slightly in urban India but it still hasnt been easy for divorcees.
The problem lies in a quintessential question: Is it really correct to make your own daughter so separate from yourself after marriage ? What was it that you gave to her in her years before marriage ? What is really love or just a comfort that we give to our guests when they come to stay with us at our home ?
Here, I am not talking about that there is no difference between girl and boy, I am talking about the authority and responsiblity of parents towards a girl even after her marriage.
To put it in perspective, would like to put forth a distinct point: Do cast an eye on the percentages of girls versus boys in class 10 and class 12 board exams. It would just bring forth how girls are far ahead of boys. And to equalise classroom basis sex , colleges in Bangalore have a higher cut-off for girls and a lower for boys! None ever did that for girls when few came to school?
So in times like this, shouldnt we teach not only our daughters but also their parents, that the girls are not equal to boys, rather they are superior! And thus all this though process of girls being paraya dhan (belonging to other), is nothing but sheer crap. Girls should not adjust and manage in their in-laws just to please the parents or the society in general, rather they should be a judge in their own rights, their respect and for their own honour. This jigsaw called our society has to have a different set of constituents to remain symmetrical now & high time we all learn to accept it.
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What is your problem????A person as disgusting as urself is curse to everything indian and India.
Btw thats not my blog.