Let me begin with what I have witnessed within my family and among close friends.
Both of my sisters, two of my brothers and most of my friends had arranged marriages; seeing their prospective life partners only a couple of times in front of everyone, all of them had successful marriages. Only two of my friend’s marriages ended in divorce. One married his first cousin; neither of them liked each other but could not refuse because their mothers were sisters. The girl had an outgoing vivacious personality and expected her husband to take her out in the evenings, while the husband, an engineer working in a sugar mill, expected to be pampered by his wife when he came home tired after 8 hour ‘s work. After nearly 10 years of unhappy life and a couple of kids they divorced.
The other was a love marriage; the groom’s father had a heart attack and admitted to the Ganga Ram Hospital of Lahore. There he met a young female doctor and fell in love. They married despite opposition from both the families but divorced after 15 years. Understand the reason was that when the kids became teenagers and the wife had time on her hands; she wanted to continue her medical career but the husband disagreed. They divorced and the lady opened up her own medical practice.
One of my brothers and my nephew married their American classmates for love but they are both divorced. My second cousin (father’s cousin) married a Swiss girl whom he met in London; I was at their house yesterday at Osterley, London celebrating their 55th anniversary.
I was advised by my tutor in London to marry the girl not because I wanted to live with her but because I could not live without her. But it did not quite work out that way. I met a cousin of a close friend at the party for my friends first born, we both liked each other and after a few meetings in a group setting, I sent my mother to her house with the proposal. You may call it a semi-love marriage because later I found out the friend had told his aunt of me being an eligible bachelor. The girl attended the birthday party so that she & I could meet. Hopefully, we shall celebrate our golden anniversary in March next year.
In conclusion, I would state that all marriages have their ups & downs because two different individuals are in constant company day in day out. After the initial youthful infatuation wears out, the success of the marriage, whether arranged /or of their own choice, depends largely on how much the husband & wife are willing to compromise to keep the marriage going.
