An open letter to Pakistani men, from a working class woman

[Hell hound]

You usually wear it with long faraq, shirt
Know the difference not with shortest shirts

That's not true most girls wear qamiz or long shirts over jeans.my own sister do that

 

[Mugwop]

Why there's always a thread about feminism on PDF every week? @Moonlight

My man it's a big problem in Pakistan. These feminist are trying to tarnish the image of Pakistan.

 

[war&peace]

Your double standards, your shameless advances, your ‘harmless’ behavior is costing the women of your country severely. You are destroying lives, you are destroying futures.

Please leave us...believe me in a country of 200 million, 1 or 2 million won't be even detectable.

 

[Moonlight]

That's not true most girls wear qamiz or long shirts over jeans.my own sister do that

Again long shirts or qameez

 

[The Sandman]

This mate loves this topic. :p

So is he like in favor of feminism or against it?

 

[Darth Vader]

Your double standards, your shameless advances, your ‘harmless’ behavior is costing the women of your country severely. You are destroying lives, you are destroying futures.

BY Wishal Raheel

Lately, the women’s protection law has been causing outrage amongst many who claim that women are safe and do not require protection and that this law will only create problems for women and families as a whole. When someone tries to explain to me how women are safe in this country, I can’t help but be fascinated by their ignorance. I cannot even begin to talk about the rural areas where atrocities that one can’t even fathom happen with women. What I can do is talk about the daily struggles of an independent, working class woman in big cities like Lahore through this open letter.

Dear man on the motorcycle,

You called out to me and I thought something was wrong with my car. Since I am foolish enough to believe that the world is full of nice, helpful people, I initially thought of you as a nice man who was perhaps pointing out a flat tyre, or a door not properly closed. You weren’t. Dear man on the motorcycle, you don’t realize that I have two jobs, that that was a day I got free from work early and so was excited to be going home early. I thought I’d make a quick stop at one of the malls on the way and go shopping. Your constant zig-zagging around my car, your disgusting laugh when it scared me, your pathetic attempts to signal that you wanted my number and your half an hour of chasing me, trying to force a conversation made me rush straight home. Your ‘harmless’ behavior got me to panic. I felt unsafe throughout my way home, inside my own car which I was driving in my hometown in a country I have spent 23 years in. Dear man on the motorcycle, because of people like you, many women lose their chance of being independent. It is the fear of people like you that drives many women into not pursuing their careers. It is because of people like you that certain families forbid their daughters from getting good education. It is because of people like you women feel unsafe in a country that is their own.

Dear neighbor,

Why is it that a woman needs to have a male guardian in order for your harassment to stop? Why is it that if a family comprises only of women, you feel free to threaten and harass them? Why is it that independent women are worthy of your aggression and anger, simply because you know that these women are strong enough to deal with you on their own? Why does it threaten your ego so much that you resort to raising your voice to ensure that the women are ‘afraid’ of you? It is because of people like you that women continue facing domestic violence instead of walking way from an abusive marriage. Pakistan is no place fit for women to live alone. It is because of people like you that women end up dying at the hands of their husbands but refuse to leave the home and live independently; for many women that would be walking out of the frying pan into the fire.

Dear helper at the shop,

You have hundreds of people coming to your store every day, many of whom treat you with no respect at all. It saddens me to see that you have gotten so used to that treatment that if a woman thanks you for your help and smiles at you, you feel that it is okay to harass her with your cheeky grin every time she walks into the store. You think it is okay for you to slip in your number for her-it most definitely is her fault for showing kindness to you, isn’t it? The fact that she smiled at a complete stranger is good enough for you to believe that she is not a woman of character and therefore deserves to be harassed.

Dear mechanic at the workshop,

If I drive a car, why do you expect my brother to bring it to the workshop to get it fixed? Why is it a strange sight for you to see a woman tell you what needs fixing in her car? You think it is easy to fool a woman by taking more time to do a small task just to make more money. It is because of people like you that many women refrain from driving and miss out on a lot of opportunities in life.

Dear friend,

It’s fun, isn’t it, when we hang out at restaurants till late at night? What offended me was when you told that your sisters have a curfew and never stay out late at night. That trip to the northern areas you kept asking me and our other friends to go on would have been great, dear friend, but why is it that your sisters aren’t allowed to even stay out at night in the same city yet you expect your friends to accompany you on a trip to another city? I can’t help but think about what you say behind my back. It is because of your double standards that girls aren’t allowed to enjoy their lives like boys are. Your sisters have curfews to protect them from people like you, dear friend. Doesn’t that make you feel bad?


Dear man from the bank,

I hear your wife is not allowed to work. Pakistan is a ruthless place for working women, with men waiting like vultures for their prey. You would never let your wife face such degrading conditions. Why is it then, that you keep messaging me at odd hours just to ask how I am? Dear man from the bank, giving you my number in no way entitled you to start messaging me in the middle of the night. I feel sorry for your children who will grow up seeing you as their hero. I feel sorry for your young boy, who will grow up to be a man like you and your young girl, who will be caged with her wings clipped from a very young age. You will justify it by telling her you’re only protecting her from the evils of the world. Deep down inside, doesn’t it kill you to know you just want to protect her from men like you?

Dear man in the elevator,

I wear jeans, I wear western attire. Pakistan has an unforgiving summer so I do wear the occasional sleeveless shirt. While I understand that this is not a dress code you would allow at your home, you need to respect what people wear outside. By wearing clothes that I am comfortable in, I in no way am implying that I do not mind when you deliberately push yourself onto me in an elevator that is not at all crowded. Does it not embarrass you that other men have to tell you to move forward because they can see I am uncomfortable at your shameless advances towards me? How do you look at yourself in the mirror when you know that it is because of men like you that your daughters have to wear abayas?

Dear Pakistani men,

Your double standards, your shameless advances, your ‘harmless’ behavior is costing the women of your country severely. You are destroying lives, you are destroying futures. You are creating children who will grow up in this bizarre world and think of it as something perfectly normal. Your sons will grow up believing that nice, righteous women are the ones who stay at home and sacrifice their dreams for their families’ honours and that any girl who steps out of the house is just another characterless woman asking for it. Teach them that that is not the case.

http://nation.com.pk/blogs/05-May-2016/an-open-letter-to-pakistani-men-from-a-working-class-woman

in This Last 1 or 2 Year i have Seen Loads of article Coming About So Called People Not Giving Special treatment to Women
It is Confusing When men give Special treatment to ladies than they have problem if they dont than there is another issue

First of all before any says anything , I am a muslim , and my mother and islam says i should respect and help everyone no matter what gender , Colour , Race they have its Just they are humans and we should treat them as we wish to be treated , Now every society has some problem the , the thing is Pointing its in every society

as i have spent time in Pakistan and in Pakistani society , and in western society so i see things differently

Few Points Jeans yes its your Choice you are totally free to choice what ever you are wearing but it also ask you to respect Your Society or the traditions of that place , let me put it in simple Words
lets assume you are in jungle and you are one of the animals , you grew up with other animals Now here comes a human Which is walking on two legs and tall and weird for you , first you will be scared from him . you will try to see what kind of freak that thing is
No Same is happening , how many girls have you see in the street wearing Jeans sleeveless shirts ,on the street of small cities of Pakistan , last time i was there around 3 or 4 years back i didn't see any one ,

and One More If you see any tourist Coming to Pakistan Why they always love to try the national dresses of Pakistan , because they are showing Respect to your culture ,
and about People miss behaving she needs to see that this problem is every where and who can solve that
Mothers , Sisters How many of the Desi mothers give there time to children instead they are busy watching indian Team shows

Problem is every where but We need to change our selves , and to do that
Women Need to Start teaching there children what is right and wrong

 

[Moonlight]

So is he like in favor of feminism or against it?

He just enjoy this topic can't say he's a feminists or not. I hope not. :p

@abdulbarijan sooo? :p

 

[Hell hound]

Again long shirts or qameez

That's what I was saying why churi pajama with long shirts are fine but jeans with same size shirts are not.

 

[Mugwop]

Do these hypocritical feminists ever state the gender of their boss "who employs them with work" ?
No all do they do is complain and complain,No place on Jah's earth is good enough for them.

 

[abdulbarijan]

So is he like in favor of feminism or against it?

He just enjoy this topic can't say he's a feminists or not. I hope not. :p

@abdulbarijan sooo? :p

... My name is abdulbarijan and I'm not a feminist!

 

[Armstrong]

So what exactly did she say that was so wrong and objectionable?

And do we even know what feminism means? Its not some kind of female version of male chauvinism which hums to the tune of 'women are better than men', it holds for equality for both women and men. I'm a feminist too.

 

[That Guy]

Dear western cloth wearing women
This is Pakistan and millions of Pakistani women wear respectable clothing so your are not that special and if you really want to wear the western cloths then why don't you leave Pakistan and settle in the west...I'm pretty sure no one will be missing your presence.

Except that doesn't stop harassment at all. My sister wears a niqab, and is constantly harassed by men, to the point that she has to have someone with her whenever she goes out.

Stop blaming western clothes for the behavior of shitty people. People are responsible for their own actions, so if a man harasses someone, or God forbid, he rapes someone, than that man is solely responsible.

 

[Clutch]

Nice way to paint all Pakistani men with a single stroke.

Just as bigoted as those misogynistic men who assume all women are their rightful targets.

In a society without proper law and order such thing are bound to happen. Need a venue where women who are victims of predators can easily turn to for justice. That's how you get real change. True for any western society as well where law and order never tolerate any abuse..

Otherwise a very legitimate article. Just needs balance and proper prospective.

 

[That Guy]

Pakistani women need to realize they are living in a Muslim country.

And you need to stop asking for respect Islam or Pakistani culture give you and demanding western rights. Seriously????


@abdulbarijan

Something I forgot to add :p

It's not western rights, it's human rights, and why shouldn't she demand it? It is her right as a citizen of Pakistan to protest what she perceives to be injustices, and demand fairness.

 

[war&peace]

Except that doesn't stop harassment at all. My sister wears a niqab, and is constantly harassed by men, to the point that she has to have someone with her whenever she goes out.

Stop blaming western clothes for the behavior of shitty people. People are responsible for their own actions, so if a man harasses someone, or God forbid, he rapes someone, than that man is solely responsible.

I would say stop using harassment as an excuse to wear immodest cloths publicly. Who supports men harassing women?
But then again that does not give women a license to disrespect the society.