JanjaWeed
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8 Hindustan ek soch hai. Hindustan ek jagah hai, magar Hindustan ek soch hai
This head scratching definition of our motherland came during a rally at his parliamentary constituency Amethi. Well, atleast this was better than his "politics is your pants" corollary he gave last year.
7 Ordinance Nonsense
The mother of all outbursts happened when Congress's angry young(?) man gate crashed Ajay Maken press conference and declared that the ordinance to protect convicted law makers, that had been cleared by the Union cabinet was "complete nonsense and should be torn up and thrown away". Rahul baba tried to channel his inner Rajnikanthness to come out looking like the saviour of truth, honesty and integrity and in the end seemed to achieve the desired result, when the Congress ministers put the ordinance in the dumpster, days after publicly singing songs in its praise. But what his act did, was to make PM Manmohan Singh look like a headless chicken and provide hilarious meme generating opportunities to the over-active Twitter junta.
6 Drama Overload Alert
And we are waiting for it to load.
4 India is a Bee Hive
3 India is Still Searching for Girish-The Carpenter
2 Poverty is a State of Mind
1 Jupiter's Escape Velocity
Enjoy...
7 Ordinance Nonsense
6 Drama Overload Alert
Rahul Gandhi's speeches, off late, have started having an overdose of melodrama-70's Bollywood style. At a rally in Madhya Pradesh,
an emotional Rahul revealed
that mom Sonia was unable to breath when she reached the hospital in August, when he Food Security Bill was up for voting in the Parliament. Then at
a rally in poll bound Rajasthan
, he dropped this killer 'Amitabh vs Shashi Kapoor Deewarish dialogue' -."They killed my grandmother, my father, maybe they'll kill me. I don't care.” Ofcourse , he then proceeded to describe how he used to play badminton with Indira Gandhi's guards who later assassinated her. EMOTIONAL CONNECT is all he wanted, that too in caps lock, but we aren't sure that materialized.
an emotional Rahul revealed
that mom Sonia was unable to breath when she reached the hospital in August, when he Food Security Bill was up for voting in the Parliament. Then at
a rally in poll bound Rajasthan
, he dropped this killer 'Amitabh vs Shashi Kapoor Deewarish dialogue' -."They killed my grandmother, my father, maybe they'll kill me. I don't care.” Ofcourse , he then proceeded to describe how he used to play badminton with Indira Gandhi's guards who later assassinated her. EMOTIONAL CONNECT is all he wanted, that too in caps lock, but we aren't sure that materialized.
5 If India is a computer, the Congress is its default programme
4 India is a Bee Hive
Rahul Gandhi's speech to India Inc at CII was a goldmine for Rahul jokes. But the visual this statement gave us, of a bee beard hanging from the Indian chin, cannot be wiped off. Sadly."China is referred to as the 'dragon' and India as an 'elephant'. But we are not an elephant, we are a 'beehive'. "
3 India is Still Searching for Girish-The Carpenter
Another gem from his CII speech. Rahul dropped a random anecdote about a random carpenter called Girish. "Girish, a migrant in Mumbai bought us tea.He was struggling but wanted to claim his place in the sun. He invited me to visit his house - a little room with six people.This is the story of India". Since then, India has been searching for Mr. Girish.
2 Poverty is a State of Mind
Now this one was a zinger, giving an altogether different meaning to the term-the power of positive thinking.People said this statement insulted the poor, but we think the section it insulted the most was people with intelligence. Speaking at Allahabad, Rahul said, "Poverty is just a state of mind. It does not mean the scarcity of food, money or material things. If one possesses self-confidence, then one can overcome poverty." Hilarity ensued, with Twitter going overboard with jokes.
1 Jupiter's Escape Velocity
After successfully tacking Social Science, Maths and computers, Rahul baba even offered us lessons in Physics in 2013.Speaking at the Dalit Adhikar Meet, Rahulji said, "India's Dalits need Jupiter's escape velocity to attain success". Jupiter's aliens shed a blue tear or so at the comparison , but the Twitter jokes were funny as hell. They say laughter is the best medicine, and the Congress VP ensured we had a funny 2013. But here's sincerely hoping that 2014 brings in a more in control Rahul. We will make do with Santa Banta jokes.
Enjoy...
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