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Women thoughts-Agian under scrutiny!

Xeric

RETIRED THINK TANK
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Got this mail a few daz back, probably some of you might have read it before. Just sharing it for a little laugh!
scrutiny
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.


(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.


(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!


(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)


(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.


(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... that will bring on a 'whatever').


(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying SCREW YOU!


(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
 
Types Of Women


HARD-DISK Woman:
She remembers everything, FOREVER.

RAM Woman:
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.

WINDOWS Woman:
Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live
without
her.

EXCEL Woman:
They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for your
four
basic needs.

SCREENSAVER Woman:
She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!

INTERNET Woman:
Difficult to access.

SERVER Woman:
Always busy when you need her.

MULTIMEDIA Woman:
She makes horrible things look beautiful.

CD-ROM Woman:
She is always faster and faster.

E-MAIL Woman:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

&

VIRUS Woman:
Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she comes,
installs
herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you
will
lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose
everything............
 
Husband n Wife (an inspiration...)‏

The points to ponder or points to wonder for the wandering husbands..that includes me as well sir....


When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
David Bissonette






After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Sacha Guitry






By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates






Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Anonymous






The great question.... . which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want?
Dumas






I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Sigmund Freud


'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'
Anonymous




'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'
Sam Kinison




'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'
James Holt McGavra




Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Patrick Murra


The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....
Nash



You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Anonymous



My wife and I were happy for twenty years Then we met.
Henny Youngman



A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Rodney Dangerfield




A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
Anonymous




First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
Anonymous
 
Commandment 1.
Marriages are made in heaven. But, so are thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2.
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you
say, talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3.
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

Commandment 4.
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man
speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

Commandment 5.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is !

Commandment 6.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; The trouble starts when
they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something
you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

Commandment 8.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a
good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9.
Marriage and love are purely matters of chemistry. That is why wife treats
husband like toxic waste.

Commandment 10.
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished
 
Cmon..this is not good!!..women are not that bad !!
 
Independent candidate Sham Lal Gandhi campaigns in Amritsar with the personal security officer allotted to him.
1a946b37735d4a4e5709ce161908e5df._.jpg
 
Independent candidate Sham Lal Gandhi campaigns in Amritsar with the personal security officer allotted to him.
1a946b37735d4a4e5709ce161908e5df._.jpg

Sardar ji what is this pic doing on this thread:undecided:
 

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