PlanetWarrior
SENIOR MEMBER
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2009
- Messages
- 6,096
- Reaction score
- -2
- Country
- Location
On the anniversary of the sad day of 9-11, the following is pure sarcasm
It's a good thing that Indians were not recruited to carry out the 9-11 hijackings and plunging of the airplanes into buildings for the following reasons :-
1. We are always late. We would have missed all 4 flights.
2. We talk loud and would bring attention to ourselves.
3. With free food and colddrink on the plane we would be demanding more and would forget why we are there in the first place.
4. We speak with our hands and nod our heads so we would place down our weapons to speak to each other.
5. We would ALL want to fly the plane ending in one big thamasa fight with each other.
6. We will argue and fight with each other on the terminal about who should be paid the most and that will end up with "areh baap...go fly the damn plane yourself !"
7. We can't keep a secret. We would have told chacha , chacchi, daddi ma and dadda and Reshma bhabi and the neighbors one month before and then told them "but chup hai. don't tell anybody else including that ghora FBI brother-in-law of yours"
8. We would have insisted that the plane flies past Delhi bazaar first.
9. We would have all lined up to have our photograph taken by one of the hostages.
10. We would have sent a draft script of the hijacking to Karan Johar insisting that he discusses payment for future dividends and that he scouts the Pentagon and World Trade Centre to let us know if the script will be profitable. Then another fight will break out between us as to which one of us will be played by Shah Rukh Khan and we will insist that Shah Rukh reads the script and decides for himself.
11. When we enter the cockpit we would do a karaoke with one bhandar singing "yeh doosti hum nahi.....". That would make the rest of us cry and we would hug each other and decide that we can't kill our best yaars in this way
12. The whole family plus the neighbors and aunty Rashida and aunt Premi would be at the airport crying their fricking eyes off , and our mothers would be saying to the ghoras next to them "I'm so proud of my bheta. It's its first hijacking"
13. We would have dressed like terrorists for the role....dark Police sunglasses bought at China Mall, black outfits, gelled up hair with walks like Shah Rukh, Hrithik, Salman and Akshay and all the swagger with one real chachundar attitude to go with it.
14. Two of us would have forgotten our passports at home.
15. All of us would have overweight luggage.
16. We would have wanted the in-flight movie to finish first and then we would start an argument as to which bollywood movie copied the in-flight movie. By then the plane would have landed and the hostesses would be look at us quizically trying to understand why we are arguing after all the passsengers disembarked.
17. We would all be qeueing outside the toilet to aftershave and gel our hair to look good for the moment.
18. We would have taken the plane for a joyride with bhangra music at full blast and insisted that we first park it somewhere where the chicks can see us sitting in the cockpit.
19. We would never have got the in-flight training since we would be busy bargaining a better rate with the instructors for a long long time.
It's a good thing that Indians were not recruited to carry out the 9-11 hijackings and plunging of the airplanes into buildings for the following reasons :-
1. We are always late. We would have missed all 4 flights.
2. We talk loud and would bring attention to ourselves.
3. With free food and colddrink on the plane we would be demanding more and would forget why we are there in the first place.
4. We speak with our hands and nod our heads so we would place down our weapons to speak to each other.
5. We would ALL want to fly the plane ending in one big thamasa fight with each other.
6. We will argue and fight with each other on the terminal about who should be paid the most and that will end up with "areh baap...go fly the damn plane yourself !"
7. We can't keep a secret. We would have told chacha , chacchi, daddi ma and dadda and Reshma bhabi and the neighbors one month before and then told them "but chup hai. don't tell anybody else including that ghora FBI brother-in-law of yours"
8. We would have insisted that the plane flies past Delhi bazaar first.
9. We would have all lined up to have our photograph taken by one of the hostages.
10. We would have sent a draft script of the hijacking to Karan Johar insisting that he discusses payment for future dividends and that he scouts the Pentagon and World Trade Centre to let us know if the script will be profitable. Then another fight will break out between us as to which one of us will be played by Shah Rukh Khan and we will insist that Shah Rukh reads the script and decides for himself.
11. When we enter the cockpit we would do a karaoke with one bhandar singing "yeh doosti hum nahi.....". That would make the rest of us cry and we would hug each other and decide that we can't kill our best yaars in this way
12. The whole family plus the neighbors and aunty Rashida and aunt Premi would be at the airport crying their fricking eyes off , and our mothers would be saying to the ghoras next to them "I'm so proud of my bheta. It's its first hijacking"
13. We would have dressed like terrorists for the role....dark Police sunglasses bought at China Mall, black outfits, gelled up hair with walks like Shah Rukh, Hrithik, Salman and Akshay and all the swagger with one real chachundar attitude to go with it.
14. Two of us would have forgotten our passports at home.
15. All of us would have overweight luggage.
16. We would have wanted the in-flight movie to finish first and then we would start an argument as to which bollywood movie copied the in-flight movie. By then the plane would have landed and the hostesses would be look at us quizically trying to understand why we are arguing after all the passsengers disembarked.
17. We would all be qeueing outside the toilet to aftershave and gel our hair to look good for the moment.
18. We would have taken the plane for a joyride with bhangra music at full blast and insisted that we first park it somewhere where the chicks can see us sitting in the cockpit.
19. We would never have got the in-flight training since we would be busy bargaining a better rate with the instructors for a long long time.
