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Violence at home is India's 'failing'

syedali73

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"My husband came into the room, locked the door. He turned up the music so that no one could hear us outside. Then he took out his belt and started to hit me. He kept whipping me for the next 30 minutes."

Aditi (not her real name) is among millions of Indian women who have faced domestic violence.

"As he was doing this, he warned me that I shouldn't make a sound, I shouldn't cry, I shouldn't scream, because if I did, he was going to hit me even harder. He was hitting me with his belt, his hands... soon he began to choke me. He was just so angry."

The incident Aditi describes took place when she was just 19, a year after her "grand wedding" for which "people flew in from around the world to bless the couple".

2.JPG


She had been introduced to her husband by a friend a few months earlier and in the beginning he was "admirable, full of charisma and friendly". But that didn't last long.

"He became negligent and would verbally abuse me, call me names. But my dad was an alcoholic and he had always abused my mom so I thought that was part of life. I also thought, maybe things would get better," she says.

But they only got worse, she says, tearfully.

"The abuse escalated over the years and I thought if I do as he says, things would be okay, but it really never was that way. He always found some reason to find fault in me, anything could trigger him. Every moment of my life with him was unpredictable. When he went out and came back, I didn't know what to expect. He would call me names, put me down or just hit me."

Aditi lived in the hell she called home until one day in April 2012, exactly six years after she had been married, when she managed to escape with help from friends.

Today, she's put her past behind her - she's found a job with a non-governmental organisation and is trying to rebuild her life.

But Aditi's case is not an isolated one.

Since a 23-year-old student was gang-raped and murdered on a bus in Delhi in December 2012, the spotlight has been on rape in India. But a look at the data shows that it is, in fact, domestic violence which has been the most reported violent crime against women in the country every year for the past 10 years.

And the numbers have been increasing every year.

3.JPG


Campaigners say the rise in numbers is mainly down to increased awareness and more reporting.

They say reporting is higher in areas where women are educated and more vocal. It is also higher in areas where police and women's groups are more active.

Varsha Sharma, senior police officer in the Crime Against Women Cell in Delhi, says "it's a good thing" that the number of cases is consistently rising because it means that women are refusing to suffer in silence.

4.JPG



From 50,703 in 2003, the number of reported cases has gone up to 118,866 in 2013 - an increase of 134% over 10 years, far out-stripping the rise in population over the same period.

Campaigners say that could be because the Indian government brought in a new law in 2005 to protect women against violence at home and more women are coming out to seek help.

"It's not that there is more violence now: violence was always there, but now there is more reporting," says Ms Sharma.

She says more women are seeking help because "education levels have gone up, many women are now financially independent and there's more awareness".

A large number of cases, however, are still not being reported, says Monika Joshi, a lawyer who works with the campaign group Maitri.

"For every woman who complains, there is at least one woman who suffers in silence," she says. "Most women don't even talk to friends or colleagues if they're being abused by their husbands. They don't want to admit that they are victims or tell people what's going on in their homes."

It's this fear of social stigma - or the thought: 'What will people say?' - that made Sunita (not her real name) put up with her husband's excesses.

It was only three days into her marriage when she was first beaten up.

"He hit me with his elbow, I fell on the bed. I was hurt badly. I cried the whole night, he didn't even turn and look at me. He didn't even say sorry."

Sunita is financially independent, but she says she put up with his abuse and beatings "because in India, a woman is derided if she gets divorced or remarries. People look down upon them".

But it all got too much to bear. Four months after her wedding, she left him and went back to live with her parents.

Domestic violence is not unique to India. It occurs around the world, but what sets it apart in India from many other countries is the culture of silence that still surrounds it.

When Aditi sought help from her mother, she received little sympathy. "I told my mum that this is what I'm going through, there was a time when I showed her bruises on my legs, I told her about the fact that my husband had forced himself upon me. And she just said, how can you say this about yourself? How can you say this about him? You just need to live with it, you need to endure it. You do whatever it takes to make your marriage work."

Sunita's childhood friend, who had introduced her to her husband, was equally unsupportive.

"I called her to ask her what I should do. She said: 'You should have let him kill you.' She said: 'If I were you, I'd choose death over separation.' Once you're married, there's no other place for you. Your life away from your husband is meaningless."

India introduced a new law in 2005 to protect women from domestic violence, but it has failed to stem the tide of violence because it's a civil remedy and cases registered under it are not treated as criminal.

Lawyer Monika Joshi says the notion of domestic violence is rooted in patriarchy - where women are regarded as inferior to men and abuse of women is widely condoned and beating is often justified.

5.JPG


The southern city of Vijayawada reported the highest rate of domestic violence cases in the country in 2013.

Rashmi Samaram of the city-based NGO Vasavya Mahila Mandali says they receive three to four cases in their counselling centre daily.

"A large number of women are coming out to seek help because NGOs like ours, police and the government's women and child welfare department have been running extensive awareness campaigns here."

Ms Samaram explains how her group provides vulnerable women free legal support and also shelter to abused women.

But Delhi-based activist Rashmi Anand says most women in other parts of the country have no choice but to stay on in abusive marriages because there is a lack of shelter homes where they can take refuge.

"It is our biggest failing as Indian society," she says.

6.JPG


According to the last exhaustive family survey done by the government, more than 54% of men and 51% of women said it was okay for a man to beat his wife if she disrespected her in-laws, neglected her home or children, or even over something as trivial as putting less - or more - salt in the food.

Ms Joshi says though the findings came nearly 10 years ago, attitudes remain largely unchanged.

"Most people say: 'Your husband beats you, but he also loves you.' Or: 'Oh, you made a mistake, so he is justified in hitting you.' Even the court-appointed mediators often tell women that a little compromise is good. You should learn a little adjustment, they say, you should learn to ignore. How come a man is never given such advice?"

That, she says, is because the scales are tilted so heavily against women and unless there is "total equality" between the genders, home will remain "the most dangerous place" for many Indian women.

Written by Geeta Pandey. Design by Emily Maguire. Development by Richard Bangay. Produced by Ed Lowther.

BBC News - 100 Women 2014: Violence at home is India's 'failing'
 
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How can people live with domestic violence?
'Your husband beats you, but he also loves you.
What logic is this? domestic violence is quite common in Pakistan too,something needs to be done about this .
 
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How can people live with domestic violence?

What logic is this? domestic violence is quite common in Pakistan too,something needs to be done about this .
Yeh it is but the objective of this thread is to show that things are not as rosy back in shining India as these folks try to present. There is no day that passes by without seeing a thread against Pakistan, Islam, Islamic teachings, polygamy, terrorism and its association with Islam. They wont stop until you start paying them back in the same coin. Every Pakistani should counter them and give them the taste of their own medicine. Yes, we have tons of problems, but India ain't heaven either.

This thread is in direct response to this thread: UK: Muslim tortured and murdered wife while blasting out Koran to hide her screams
 
.
Yeh it is but the objective of this thread is to show that things are not as rosy back in shining India as these folks try to present. There is no day that passes by without seeing a thread against Pakistan, Islam, Islamic teachings, polygamy, terrorism and its association with Islam. They wont stop until you start paying them back in the same coin. Every Pakistani should counter them and give them the taste of their own medicine. Yes, we have tons of problems, but India ain't heaven either.
Very well said.I don't understand why they don't start a crackdown against such people,if it's Pakistani or an Indian.
Every Pakistani should counter them and give them the taste of their own medicine.
I am sorry but i disagree with this,just because they are doing something like this so should we,it's certainly against our beliefs to some extent .
 
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View attachment 192410
"My husband came into the room, locked the door. He turned up the music so that no one could hear us outside. Then he took out his belt and started to hit me. He kept whipping me for the next 30 minutes."

Aditi (not her real name) is among millions of Indian women who have faced domestic violence.

"As he was doing this, he warned me that I shouldn't make a sound, I shouldn't cry, I shouldn't scream, because if I did, he was going to hit me even harder. He was hitting me with his belt, his hands... soon he began to choke me. He was just so angry."

The incident Aditi describes took place when she was just 19, a year after her "grand wedding" for which "people flew in from around the world to bless the couple".

View attachment 192411

She had been introduced to her husband by a friend a few months earlier and in the beginning he was "admirable, full of charisma and friendly". But that didn't last long.

"He became negligent and would verbally abuse me, call me names. But my dad was an alcoholic and he had always abused my mom so I thought that was part of life. I also thought, maybe things would get better," she says.

But they only got worse, she says, tearfully.

"The abuse escalated over the years and I thought if I do as he says, things would be okay, but it really never was that way. He always found some reason to find fault in me, anything could trigger him. Every moment of my life with him was unpredictable. When he went out and came back, I didn't know what to expect. He would call me names, put me down or just hit me."

Aditi lived in the hell she called home until one day in April 2012, exactly six years after she had been married, when she managed to escape with help from friends.

Today, she's put her past behind her - she's found a job with a non-governmental organisation and is trying to rebuild her life.

But Aditi's case is not an isolated one.

Since a 23-year-old student was gang-raped and murdered on a bus in Delhi in December 2012, the spotlight has been on rape in India. But a look at the data shows that it is, in fact, domestic violence which has been the most reported violent crime against women in the country every year for the past 10 years.

And the numbers have been increasing every year.

View attachment 192412

Campaigners say the rise in numbers is mainly down to increased awareness and more reporting.

They say reporting is higher in areas where women are educated and more vocal. It is also higher in areas where police and women's groups are more active.

Varsha Sharma, senior police officer in the Crime Against Women Cell in Delhi, says "it's a good thing" that the number of cases is consistently rising because it means that women are refusing to suffer in silence.

View attachment 192413


From 50,703 in 2003, the number of reported cases has gone up to 118,866 in 2013 - an increase of 134% over 10 years, far out-stripping the rise in population over the same period.

Campaigners say that could be because the Indian government brought in a new law in 2005 to protect women against violence at home and more women are coming out to seek help.

"It's not that there is more violence now: violence was always there, but now there is more reporting," says Ms Sharma.

She says more women are seeking help because "education levels have gone up, many women are now financially independent and there's more awareness".

A large number of cases, however, are still not being reported, says Monika Joshi, a lawyer who works with the campaign group Maitri.

"For every woman who complains, there is at least one woman who suffers in silence," she says. "Most women don't even talk to friends or colleagues if they're being abused by their husbands. They don't want to admit that they are victims or tell people what's going on in their homes."

It's this fear of social stigma - or the thought: 'What will people say?' - that made Sunita (not her real name) put up with her husband's excesses.

It was only three days into her marriage when she was first beaten up.

"He hit me with his elbow, I fell on the bed. I was hurt badly. I cried the whole night, he didn't even turn and look at me. He didn't even say sorry."

Sunita is financially independent, but she says she put up with his abuse and beatings "because in India, a woman is derided if she gets divorced or remarries. People look down upon them".

But it all got too much to bear. Four months after her wedding, she left him and went back to live with her parents.

Domestic violence is not unique to India. It occurs around the world, but what sets it apart in India from many other countries is the culture of silence that still surrounds it.

When Aditi sought help from her mother, she received little sympathy. "I told my mum that this is what I'm going through, there was a time when I showed her bruises on my legs, I told her about the fact that my husband had forced himself upon me. And she just said, how can you say this about yourself? How can you say this about him? You just need to live with it, you need to endure it. You do whatever it takes to make your marriage work."

Sunita's childhood friend, who had introduced her to her husband, was equally unsupportive.

"I called her to ask her what I should do. She said: 'You should have let him kill you.' She said: 'If I were you, I'd choose death over separation.' Once you're married, there's no other place for you. Your life away from your husband is meaningless."

India introduced a new law in 2005 to protect women from domestic violence, but it has failed to stem the tide of violence because it's a civil remedy and cases registered under it are not treated as criminal.

Lawyer Monika Joshi says the notion of domestic violence is rooted in patriarchy - where women are regarded as inferior to men and abuse of women is widely condoned and beating is often justified.

View attachment 192414

The southern city of Vijayawada reported the highest rate of domestic violence cases in the country in 2013.

Rashmi Samaram of the city-based NGO Vasavya Mahila Mandali says they receive three to four cases in their counselling centre daily.

"A large number of women are coming out to seek help because NGOs like ours, police and the government's women and child welfare department have been running extensive awareness campaigns here."

Ms Samaram explains how her group provides vulnerable women free legal support and also shelter to abused women.

But Delhi-based activist Rashmi Anand says most women in other parts of the country have no choice but to stay on in abusive marriages because there is a lack of shelter homes where they can take refuge.

"It is our biggest failing as Indian society," she says.

View attachment 192415

According to the last exhaustive family survey done by the government, more than 54% of men and 51% of women said it was okay for a man to beat his wife if she disrespected her in-laws, neglected her home or children, or even over something as trivial as putting less - or more - salt in the food.

Ms Joshi says though the findings came nearly 10 years ago, attitudes remain largely unchanged.

"Most people say: 'Your husband beats you, but he also loves you.' Or: 'Oh, you made a mistake, so he is justified in hitting you.' Even the court-appointed mediators often tell women that a little compromise is good. You should learn a little adjustment, they say, you should learn to ignore. How come a man is never given such advice?"

That, she says, is because the scales are tilted so heavily against women and unless there is "total equality" between the genders, home will remain "the most dangerous place" for many Indian women.

Written by Geeta Pandey. Design by Emily Maguire. Development by Richard Bangay. Produced by Ed Lowther.

BBC News - 100 Women 2014: Violence at home is India's 'failing'


Good thing as more awareness spreads about this it will help us in the long term to build a better society

Yeh it is but the objective of this thread is to show that things are not as rosy back in shining India as these folks try to present. There is no day that passes by without seeing a thread against Pakistan, Islam, Islamic teachings, polygamy, terrorism and its association with Islam. They wont stop until you start paying them back in the same coin. Every Pakistani should counter them and give them the taste of their own medicine. Yes, we have tons of problems, but India ain't heaven either.

This thread is in direct response to this thread: UK: Muslim tortured and murdered wife while blasting out Koran to hide her screams

Are you a 9 year old by any chance
 
.
View attachment 192410
"My husband came into the room, locked the door. He turned up the music so that no one could hear us outside. Then he took out his belt and started to hit me. He kept whipping me for the next 30 minutes."

Aditi (not her real name) is among millions of Indian women who have faced domestic violence.

"As he was doing this, he warned me that I shouldn't make a sound, I shouldn't cry, I shouldn't scream, because if I did, he was going to hit me even harder. He was hitting me with his belt, his hands... soon he began to choke me. He was just so angry."

The incident Aditi describes took place when she was just 19, a year after her "grand wedding" for which "people flew in from around the world to bless the couple".

View attachment 192411

She had been introduced to her husband by a friend a few months earlier and in the beginning he was "admirable, full of charisma and friendly". But that didn't last long.

"He became negligent and would verbally abuse me, call me names. But my dad was an alcoholic and he had always abused my mom so I thought that was part of life. I also thought, maybe things would get better," she says.

But they only got worse, she says, tearfully.

"The abuse escalated over the years and I thought if I do as he says, things would be okay, but it really never was that way. He always found some reason to find fault in me, anything could trigger him. Every moment of my life with him was unpredictable. When he went out and came back, I didn't know what to expect. He would call me names, put me down or just hit me."

Aditi lived in the hell she called home until one day in April 2012, exactly six years after she had been married, when she managed to escape with help from friends.

Today, she's put her past behind her - she's found a job with a non-governmental organisation and is trying to rebuild her life.

But Aditi's case is not an isolated one.

Since a 23-year-old student was gang-raped and murdered on a bus in Delhi in December 2012, the spotlight has been on rape in India. But a look at the data shows that it is, in fact, domestic violence which has been the most reported violent crime against women in the country every year for the past 10 years.

And the numbers have been increasing every year.

View attachment 192412

Campaigners say the rise in numbers is mainly down to increased awareness and more reporting.

They say reporting is higher in areas where women are educated and more vocal. It is also higher in areas where police and women's groups are more active.

Varsha Sharma, senior police officer in the Crime Against Women Cell in Delhi, says "it's a good thing" that the number of cases is consistently rising because it means that women are refusing to suffer in silence.

View attachment 192413


From 50,703 in 2003, the number of reported cases has gone up to 118,866 in 2013 - an increase of 134% over 10 years, far out-stripping the rise in population over the same period.

Campaigners say that could be because the Indian government brought in a new law in 2005 to protect women against violence at home and more women are coming out to seek help.

"It's not that there is more violence now: violence was always there, but now there is more reporting," says Ms Sharma.

She says more women are seeking help because "education levels have gone up, many women are now financially independent and there's more awareness".

A large number of cases, however, are still not being reported, says Monika Joshi, a lawyer who works with the campaign group Maitri.

"For every woman who complains, there is at least one woman who suffers in silence," she says. "Most women don't even talk to friends or colleagues if they're being abused by their husbands. They don't want to admit that they are victims or tell people what's going on in their homes."

It's this fear of social stigma - or the thought: 'What will people say?' - that made Sunita (not her real name) put up with her husband's excesses.

It was only three days into her marriage when she was first beaten up.

"He hit me with his elbow, I fell on the bed. I was hurt badly. I cried the whole night, he didn't even turn and look at me. He didn't even say sorry."

Sunita is financially independent, but she says she put up with his abuse and beatings "because in India, a woman is derided if she gets divorced or remarries. People look down upon them".

But it all got too much to bear. Four months after her wedding, she left him and went back to live with her parents.

Domestic violence is not unique to India. It occurs around the world, but what sets it apart in India from many other countries is the culture of silence that still surrounds it.

When Aditi sought help from her mother, she received little sympathy. "I told my mum that this is what I'm going through, there was a time when I showed her bruises on my legs, I told her about the fact that my husband had forced himself upon me. And she just said, how can you say this about yourself? How can you say this about him? You just need to live with it, you need to endure it. You do whatever it takes to make your marriage work."

Sunita's childhood friend, who had introduced her to her husband, was equally unsupportive.

"I called her to ask her what I should do. She said: 'You should have let him kill you.' She said: 'If I were you, I'd choose death over separation.' Once you're married, there's no other place for you. Your life away from your husband is meaningless."

India introduced a new law in 2005 to protect women from domestic violence, but it has failed to stem the tide of violence because it's a civil remedy and cases registered under it are not treated as criminal.

Lawyer Monika Joshi says the notion of domestic violence is rooted in patriarchy - where women are regarded as inferior to men and abuse of women is widely condoned and beating is often justified.

View attachment 192414

The southern city of Vijayawada reported the highest rate of domestic violence cases in the country in 2013.

Rashmi Samaram of the city-based NGO Vasavya Mahila Mandali says they receive three to four cases in their counselling centre daily.

"A large number of women are coming out to seek help because NGOs like ours, police and the government's women and child welfare department have been running extensive awareness campaigns here."

Ms Samaram explains how her group provides vulnerable women free legal support and also shelter to abused women.

But Delhi-based activist Rashmi Anand says most women in other parts of the country have no choice but to stay on in abusive marriages because there is a lack of shelter homes where they can take refuge.

"It is our biggest failing as Indian society," she says.

View attachment 192415

According to the last exhaustive family survey done by the government, more than 54% of men and 51% of women said it was okay for a man to beat his wife if she disrespected her in-laws, neglected her home or children, or even over something as trivial as putting less - or more - salt in the food.

Ms Joshi says though the findings came nearly 10 years ago, attitudes remain largely unchanged.

"Most people say: 'Your husband beats you, but he also loves you.' Or: 'Oh, you made a mistake, so he is justified in hitting you.' Even the court-appointed mediators often tell women that a little compromise is good. You should learn a little adjustment, they say, you should learn to ignore. How come a man is never given such advice?"

That, she says, is because the scales are tilted so heavily against women and unless there is "total equality" between the genders, home will remain "the most dangerous place" for many Indian women.

Written by Geeta Pandey. Design by Emily Maguire. Development by Richard Bangay. Produced by Ed Lowther.

BBC News - 100 Women 2014: Violence at home is India's 'failing'
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thanks for share..
one thing good in all that..
reporting is improved..
so level 1 achived ..of sensatising that viloence agianst women is NOT OK
so level 2 on social and lesgislative action . and good news is its not righ way .. as its prominat issue in election menas peole care now
 
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Yeh it is but the objective of this thread is to show that things are not as rosy back in shining India as these folks try to present. There is no day that passes by without seeing a thread against Pakistan, Islam, Islamic teachings, polygamy, terrorism and its association with Islam. They wont stop until you start paying them back in the same coin. Every Pakistani should counter them and give them the taste of their own medicine. Yes, we have tons of problems, but India ain't heaven either.

This thread is in direct response to this thread: UK: Muslim tortured and murdered wife while blasting out Koran to hide her screams

Ha Ha :lol:
Good wish.But fact is one case is a shining bright future in right path where people especially womens are more awaring about their rights.A good example for fast developing mature society.
But other case is a down to earth bad situation where people still following medieval concepts.Govt that dont have any responsibility .Now there is also some quarrel about who is more poorer.

Striking example is mass exodus of minorities from our western neighbour in to my nation like Hindus ,Sikhs etc.

And the link you quoted in there is British Broadcasting Corparation .And Brits are comparing us with their developed world.So we are far behind.
But that is UK not Pakistan.Situations are sooo different.
 
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Yeh it is but the objective of this thread is to show that things are not as rosy back in shining India as these folks try to present. There is no day that passes by without seeing a thread against Pakistan, Islam, Islamic teachings, polygamy, terrorism and its association with Islam. They wont stop until you start paying them back in the same coin. Every Pakistani should counter them and give them the taste of their own medicine. Yes, we have tons of problems, but India ain't heaven either.

This thread is in direct response to this thread: UK: Muslim tortured and murdered wife while blasting out Koran to hide her screams
--
who told you india is rosy
please post that indian member commet ;;; let me see too
both couuntirs have issue..
but we are doing and taking action to rectify that social evil
we are not perfect.. we accept it.. we dont blame other for our problem.. we stand ... introspect and change..sloly but surly..
 
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Very well said.I don't understand why they don't start a crackdown against such people,if it's Pakistani or an Indian.

I am sorry but i disagree with this,just because they are doing something like this so should we,it's certainly against our beliefs to some extent .
It was none other than Quid-e-Azam who declared them incorrigible, and he reached to this conclusion after working with them for over 20 years in Congress. You'll learn sooner or later.
 
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