Zee-Gen
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- Joined
- Oct 1, 2009
- Messages
- 322
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I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years
If you are a terror to many, then beware of many.
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see well than he can think
Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference
The only way to make your PC go faster is to throw it out a window
When an actor marries an actress they both fight for the mirror
There are only two kinds of men - the dead and the deadly
The trouble with children is that theyre not returnable
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctors book
Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee
A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then hes finished
In my house, I am the boss. My wife is the decision maker
I havent reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife
Hard work never killed anyone but why take a chance?
Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter
Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play from your heart
Today is Valentines Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day.
Men are like steel; both are worthless when they loose their temper
You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 Rs only one begins with an R
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy the mother
If you cant convince them, confuse them
If you want to forget all your other troubles, wear too tight shoes
My mothers menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. Its the transition thats troublesome
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury
You tried, and you failed, so the lesson is, never try
Angels can fly because they take themselves so lightly
Choose heaven for climate, hell for society
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism
Men are like linoleum floors. You lay them right, and you can walk on them for 30 years
If love isnt a game, then why are there so many players?
The worst kind of love is the one when you want someone but you know you cant have them
Adults are just kids with money
A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway
If you are a terror to many, then beware of many.
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see well than he can think
Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference
The only way to make your PC go faster is to throw it out a window
When an actor marries an actress they both fight for the mirror
There are only two kinds of men - the dead and the deadly
The trouble with children is that theyre not returnable
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctors book
Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee
A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then hes finished
In my house, I am the boss. My wife is the decision maker
I havent reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife
Hard work never killed anyone but why take a chance?
Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter
Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play from your heart
Today is Valentines Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day.
Men are like steel; both are worthless when they loose their temper
You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 Rs only one begins with an R
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy the mother
If you cant convince them, confuse them
If you want to forget all your other troubles, wear too tight shoes
My mothers menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. Its the transition thats troublesome
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury
You tried, and you failed, so the lesson is, never try
Angels can fly because they take themselves so lightly
Choose heaven for climate, hell for society
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism
Men are like linoleum floors. You lay them right, and you can walk on them for 30 years
If love isnt a game, then why are there so many players?
The worst kind of love is the one when you want someone but you know you cant have them
Adults are just kids with money
A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway