jaibi
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The Healer's Puff
As fates would have it at a young age I found myself in a position of training my peers even seniors by age as a part of my responsibilities. This happens to stem from one such experience, an officer under my training was on call with me one day, he was a fellow psychologist and we had not talked for quite some time.
It always enthralled me to see my selectees and trainees or even juniors being successful. I took pride in their success openly backed them up and encouraged the hell out of them. I used to tell them that a psychologist is like your coach; that’s the end feeling you need to give to the other person that you’re on their side, invested in their success not because you have any ulterior motive but because you believe in them.
The young officer on the other end of the call who was just two years younger than me had become a man in front of my eyes. I knew him since he was a green boy, afraid and constantly checking his work and the work of his under command to make sure everything was flawless. The boy who would pace around his BOQs sometimes calling me, sometimes his course mates, telling them he cannot sleep, the thinks he has done something wrong. The boy who unfortunately couldn’t resist the seduction of tobacco, learnt how to drive in my car, showed his wife a new city for the first time in my car with a sponsored marriage dinner by the BOQ party as a gift to him and our bhabi from the boys.
This boy was now a man, fully in control of his operations, up to date with his logistics, filled in commitment, clear on his purpose. A balanced officer who had did such work that he had been appreciated by our highest authorities with remarks akin to, if this is our junior most officer, I’m confident, we are in capable hands. His chest was filled with pride as it should be on all of these.
And yet, to his mentor, a title which he bestowed upon me, there was something else there too.
While on call with me my junior was informed that there was someone here to see him and he told them that he was busy and he’d see them a little later. Upon clarification I learnt that it was a relative of one our drivers had wanted to see him. He had travelled a long journey from his village and had gotten delayed. This wasn’t a part of his job, mind you, this was because he said he needed a psychologist and there was none available in his entire district, let alone the closest city. Yet the gentleman couldn’t arrive on time.
After a couple of nostalgic jabs and office gossips, I told him to call me later as he has an appointment. He berated me for being too professional with him now that he was posted out, plus, it was only the cousin of a driver, he could wait!
The last remark was something I didn’t really appreciate. I would not pretend that I remained a gentleman but the conversation ended with him on his feet. I wouldn’t quote what I said but it was something akin to this, that we are representatives here, symbols of the resilence that our people have. We are not just here for the enemy, we are here for the people too. This is called service for a reason and we are public servants in the end. We are compensated for our time and given the security that not many in our nation have, I don’t think us being held to office timings represents our mission well. We are tougher than the civilian because we get invested upon. You went through a process to do that and you guard that system yourself being a psychologist of the military. If you turn this man away, you are turning a village against us. Let him feel welcomed in your office, have tea with him. You are the public representative of Pakistan Air Force and by extension armed services to the people around you. You are the first officer any of these boys will see. Not the chief, not the pilots but you. Set the precedence right and you will brief me about this matter after it is settled. He did and still remembers this incident with fondness I had to make it up to him too later on with dubious amounts of gurr and cha .
Kindly, feel free to spice up the above paragraph to get an accurate idea of what I might have said exactly, sky is the limit because I don’t normally lose my composure but when I do it takes a while.
After this incident I would introduce the job to young psychologists like so, if your success rate as a therapist is varying because you can treat a doctor with depression but not a driver, aid in the healing of an injured swimmer but not an injured sweeper, then you may be a good psychologist but you are not a therapist and should not be doing this. Psychology is a recent invention; the healing of the human soul is an ancient experience and it is universal, someone who claims to be the expert of this experience in any degree must be willing to prove that they believe in this too.
Can you cure depression to a man who was recently fired and you’re charging Rs. 3000 per session per hour? What can you say? What pill can you give? What solace will ease the terror of his spirits?
Healing can never be a job.
I don’t think you will ever be an effective healer if money is the main incentive. If you are a surgeon who can only operate when they’re confident about the machinery they have then is the man or the machine that’s to credit here?
What makes a good mental or physical health expert? In my view it is sincerity to your call and purpose. You cannot teach that, that cannot be certified, it can only be inspired and I think we should all do it in our little ways.
For instance this is a recent experience of mine, in the rain, after some health fluctuations I could not resist the one vice I allow myself, smokes. I rushed to the store but it started to rain and having successfully bought a pack as I was going back unsuccessfully ducking the rain I had to stop because it started to rain even harder and the electricity went out. I found a spot with some cover went there with a smile this weather is perfect for smoking.
Sadly, I hadn’t brought my lighter nor bought one for I am an addict in denial.
Yet, I feel very little guilt about it because the smoker’s corner is a brotherhood that’s sort of universal amongst men. There was a gentleman with me who offered me a lighter with a puff of his Capstan which made me regret my lights.
Having started I got to know the gentleman was of a similar profession to me, had retired a couple of years ago and was working now but found it odd that I was a psychologist. His snort made me inquire as to why did he find it odd. He told me that he always thought it was a woman’s profession so found it odd someone like me was in it.
It turned out he was very skeptical of my profession and gave me a test in which he asked if I could interpret his dream. As I haven’t asked for his consent in sharing that information for educational purposes I am sorry but I won’t share what it exactly was but he ended up being convinced and said that he wants to complete the journey of therapy. I told him it’s best he doesn’t do it with me because I am not working as a therapist yet but I have a vast experience and I personally hold myself accountable to help where I can. He respected that and two strangers went their separate ways having a memorable smoke.
Yet I will not leave the reader dissatisfied because I didn’t answer any questions, I asked different questions, questions he felt were more accurately representing what he wanted to communicate and wanted to know how I could do that. For that I told him he needs to go into therapy.
At the end of the stage of a man’s life, I often sadly find, the men who can attest to the material measures of their success feel very empty at times not because they don’t have enough but because they have it at the expense of something that they now know is far more valuable.
Regret is a terrible disease.
My main aim to share this piece is to encourage those who feel misheard or feel something is off should feel free in reaching out and taking care of themselves. I hope to soon share a few cases I’ve been on just to educate people on therapy and how it works but please seek help, it shall come.
Till then, dear reader, I wish you well with a smile for I’ve heard that even that is charity and I feel like it’s best kind in the end.
-------------------------------------------------
Let's have a place where the smokers can converse here, shall we?
@dbc @PanzerKiel @Joe Shearer @That Guy @ghazi52 @aziqbal @bratava
@Casus Belli @dbc @F.O.X @forcetrip @Hakan @haviZultan @Indos @KAL-EL @MilSpec @Mugwop @Munir @Neutron @S.U.R.B. @siegecrossbow @Signalian @SpArK @TOPGUN @TruthSeeker @vostok
@Ark_Angel @CommandEleven @CPGS @denel @Desertfalcon @GlobalVillageSpace @Quwa @RadioactiveFriends @TheMightyBender @Tps43
@Aamir Hussain @ajpirzada @araz @Awesome @Chak Bamu @Dazzler @ThePatriotReport @UnitedPak @T-Faz @Sapper @roadrunner @RescueRanger @Rafael @Pfpilot @notorious_eagle @niaz @muse @mean_bird @Manticore @Kasrkin @Jungibaaz @Jabar 1 @Icarus @HRK @Elmo @Emmie @fatman17 @Awesome
As fates would have it at a young age I found myself in a position of training my peers even seniors by age as a part of my responsibilities. This happens to stem from one such experience, an officer under my training was on call with me one day, he was a fellow psychologist and we had not talked for quite some time.
It always enthralled me to see my selectees and trainees or even juniors being successful. I took pride in their success openly backed them up and encouraged the hell out of them. I used to tell them that a psychologist is like your coach; that’s the end feeling you need to give to the other person that you’re on their side, invested in their success not because you have any ulterior motive but because you believe in them.
The young officer on the other end of the call who was just two years younger than me had become a man in front of my eyes. I knew him since he was a green boy, afraid and constantly checking his work and the work of his under command to make sure everything was flawless. The boy who would pace around his BOQs sometimes calling me, sometimes his course mates, telling them he cannot sleep, the thinks he has done something wrong. The boy who unfortunately couldn’t resist the seduction of tobacco, learnt how to drive in my car, showed his wife a new city for the first time in my car with a sponsored marriage dinner by the BOQ party as a gift to him and our bhabi from the boys.
This boy was now a man, fully in control of his operations, up to date with his logistics, filled in commitment, clear on his purpose. A balanced officer who had did such work that he had been appreciated by our highest authorities with remarks akin to, if this is our junior most officer, I’m confident, we are in capable hands. His chest was filled with pride as it should be on all of these.
And yet, to his mentor, a title which he bestowed upon me, there was something else there too.
While on call with me my junior was informed that there was someone here to see him and he told them that he was busy and he’d see them a little later. Upon clarification I learnt that it was a relative of one our drivers had wanted to see him. He had travelled a long journey from his village and had gotten delayed. This wasn’t a part of his job, mind you, this was because he said he needed a psychologist and there was none available in his entire district, let alone the closest city. Yet the gentleman couldn’t arrive on time.
After a couple of nostalgic jabs and office gossips, I told him to call me later as he has an appointment. He berated me for being too professional with him now that he was posted out, plus, it was only the cousin of a driver, he could wait!
The last remark was something I didn’t really appreciate. I would not pretend that I remained a gentleman but the conversation ended with him on his feet. I wouldn’t quote what I said but it was something akin to this, that we are representatives here, symbols of the resilence that our people have. We are not just here for the enemy, we are here for the people too. This is called service for a reason and we are public servants in the end. We are compensated for our time and given the security that not many in our nation have, I don’t think us being held to office timings represents our mission well. We are tougher than the civilian because we get invested upon. You went through a process to do that and you guard that system yourself being a psychologist of the military. If you turn this man away, you are turning a village against us. Let him feel welcomed in your office, have tea with him. You are the public representative of Pakistan Air Force and by extension armed services to the people around you. You are the first officer any of these boys will see. Not the chief, not the pilots but you. Set the precedence right and you will brief me about this matter after it is settled. He did and still remembers this incident with fondness I had to make it up to him too later on with dubious amounts of gurr and cha .
Kindly, feel free to spice up the above paragraph to get an accurate idea of what I might have said exactly, sky is the limit because I don’t normally lose my composure but when I do it takes a while.
After this incident I would introduce the job to young psychologists like so, if your success rate as a therapist is varying because you can treat a doctor with depression but not a driver, aid in the healing of an injured swimmer but not an injured sweeper, then you may be a good psychologist but you are not a therapist and should not be doing this. Psychology is a recent invention; the healing of the human soul is an ancient experience and it is universal, someone who claims to be the expert of this experience in any degree must be willing to prove that they believe in this too.
Can you cure depression to a man who was recently fired and you’re charging Rs. 3000 per session per hour? What can you say? What pill can you give? What solace will ease the terror of his spirits?
Healing can never be a job.
I don’t think you will ever be an effective healer if money is the main incentive. If you are a surgeon who can only operate when they’re confident about the machinery they have then is the man or the machine that’s to credit here?
What makes a good mental or physical health expert? In my view it is sincerity to your call and purpose. You cannot teach that, that cannot be certified, it can only be inspired and I think we should all do it in our little ways.
For instance this is a recent experience of mine, in the rain, after some health fluctuations I could not resist the one vice I allow myself, smokes. I rushed to the store but it started to rain and having successfully bought a pack as I was going back unsuccessfully ducking the rain I had to stop because it started to rain even harder and the electricity went out. I found a spot with some cover went there with a smile this weather is perfect for smoking.
Sadly, I hadn’t brought my lighter nor bought one for I am an addict in denial.
Yet, I feel very little guilt about it because the smoker’s corner is a brotherhood that’s sort of universal amongst men. There was a gentleman with me who offered me a lighter with a puff of his Capstan which made me regret my lights.
Having started I got to know the gentleman was of a similar profession to me, had retired a couple of years ago and was working now but found it odd that I was a psychologist. His snort made me inquire as to why did he find it odd. He told me that he always thought it was a woman’s profession so found it odd someone like me was in it.
It turned out he was very skeptical of my profession and gave me a test in which he asked if I could interpret his dream. As I haven’t asked for his consent in sharing that information for educational purposes I am sorry but I won’t share what it exactly was but he ended up being convinced and said that he wants to complete the journey of therapy. I told him it’s best he doesn’t do it with me because I am not working as a therapist yet but I have a vast experience and I personally hold myself accountable to help where I can. He respected that and two strangers went their separate ways having a memorable smoke.
Yet I will not leave the reader dissatisfied because I didn’t answer any questions, I asked different questions, questions he felt were more accurately representing what he wanted to communicate and wanted to know how I could do that. For that I told him he needs to go into therapy.
At the end of the stage of a man’s life, I often sadly find, the men who can attest to the material measures of their success feel very empty at times not because they don’t have enough but because they have it at the expense of something that they now know is far more valuable.
Regret is a terrible disease.
My main aim to share this piece is to encourage those who feel misheard or feel something is off should feel free in reaching out and taking care of themselves. I hope to soon share a few cases I’ve been on just to educate people on therapy and how it works but please seek help, it shall come.
Till then, dear reader, I wish you well with a smile for I’ve heard that even that is charity and I feel like it’s best kind in the end.
-------------------------------------------------
Let's have a place where the smokers can converse here, shall we?
@dbc @PanzerKiel @Joe Shearer @That Guy @ghazi52 @aziqbal @bratava
@Casus Belli @dbc @F.O.X @forcetrip @Hakan @haviZultan @Indos @KAL-EL @MilSpec @Mugwop @Munir @Neutron @S.U.R.B. @siegecrossbow @Signalian @SpArK @TOPGUN @TruthSeeker @vostok
@Ark_Angel @CommandEleven @CPGS @denel @Desertfalcon @GlobalVillageSpace @Quwa @RadioactiveFriends @TheMightyBender @Tps43
@Aamir Hussain @ajpirzada @araz @Awesome @Chak Bamu @Dazzler @ThePatriotReport @UnitedPak @T-Faz @Sapper @roadrunner @RescueRanger @Rafael @Pfpilot @notorious_eagle @niaz @muse @mean_bird @Manticore @Kasrkin @Jungibaaz @Jabar 1 @Icarus @HRK @Elmo @Emmie @fatman17 @Awesome
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