Joke

[dray]

Man name Phuc Dat Bich posts passport to Facebook after he is repeatedly banned from site.

 

[The Sandman]

Man name Phuc Dat Bich posts passport to Facebook after he is repeatedly banned from site.

Just saw this news i can't stop laughing poor guy
Nobody Believes This Man's Name Is Real - Yahoo News UK

 

[MastanKhan]

Read right till the end

 

[asad71]

The Polite Way to Pee
>
> During one of her daily classes, a teacher
> trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:
>
> 'Michael, if you were on a date having
> dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to
> the bathroom?'
>
> Michael said: 'Just a minute I have to go
> pee.'
>
> The teacher responded by saying:
> 'That would be rude and impolite.
>
> What about you Sherman, how would you say
> it?'
>
> Sherman said:
> 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the
> bathroom.
> I'll be right back.'
>
> 'That's better, but it's still not very nice
> to say the
> word bathroom at the dinner table.
>
> And you, little Johnny, can you use your
> brain for once and show us your good manners?'
>
> Johnny said:
> 'I would say: Darling, may I please be
> excused for a
> moment? I have to shake hands with a very
> dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner.'
>
> The teacher fainted.

 

[milen]

After i-messaging back and forth with my wife, I jokingly commanded Siri to pass along this message: “You need to get back to work now; you have a husband to support.”

Here’s what Siri sent: “You need 
to get back to work now; you have 
a has-been to support.”

 

[NP-complete]

Not exactly jokes but anecdotes:

In 1931, George Bernard Shaw wired Winston Churchill: “Am reserving two tickets for you on opening night of my new play. Come bring a friend — if you have one.”
Churchill wired back: “Impossible for me to attend first performance. Would like to attend second night — if there is one.”


A young man once accosted James Joyce and asked, “May I kiss the hand that wrote Ulysses?”
Joyce replied, “No, it did a lot of other things, too.”


When Winston Churchill won a seat in Parliament at age 26, he grew a mustache to make himself look older.
“Winston,” said a female opponent, “I approve of neither your politics nor your mustache.”
“Madam,” he replied, “you are not likely to come in contact with either.”

 

[NP-complete]

After years of work, some programmers unveil a new supercomputer. They say it knows everything.

A skeptical man asks the computer, “Where is my father?”

The computer thinks, then says, “Your father is fishing in Michigan.”

The man laughs. “See? I knew this was nonsense. My father has been dead for 20 years.”

“No,” the computer says. “Your mother’s husband has been dead for 20 years. Your father just landed a three-pound trout.”

 

[MastanKhan]

 

[unbiasedopinion]

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10153532556561131

Read right till the end

View attachment 273822

OMG!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

 

[mughaljee]

***ادبی لطیفہ***
جوش ملیح آبادی نے پنجابی زبان کے اکھڑ پن سے زچ ہو کر کنور مہندر سنگھ بیدی سے کہا:
"کنور صاحب! کیا آپ جانتے ہیں کہ دوزخ کی سرکاری زبان یہی آپ کی پنجابی ہو گی؟"
کنور صاحب سے برجستہ جواب دیا:
"تو پھر جوش صاحب! آپ کو ضرور سیکھ لینی چاہیے۔"
( شاہد حمید کی کتاب" شاعروں، ادیبوں کے لطیفے" سے ماخوذ)

 

[Levina]

A guy was baptized and dipped in water 3 times.
After the third dip, the Priest said: "You are now baptized, you are a
new creation. The old one is gone, no more drinking of alcohol for
you. Your new name is Gomes."

Gomes went back home and headed straight for the fridge. He took a
Kingfisher Beer, dipped it in water 3 times and said: "You are now a
new creation, the old one is gone. Your new name is Green Tea!"

 

[mughaljee]

Ayaa Ayaa Shar Ayaa.
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[MastanKhan]

 

[mughaljee]

 

[mughaljee]