I have been sending my wife money from Canada to Pakistan every month since our Nikkah in 2019. I have applied to sponsor her but because of Covid, our sponsorship and PR application has been delayed. She has never ever spent any of the money i sent her in the last year and a half, i always encouraged her that its our money and that if she ever needs to spend it for her expenses she is most welcome. She finally recently in the last 12 days started to utilize her debit card which is linked to our joint account in Pakistan.
I haven't really paid attention to her withdrawing from the ATM for Rs 5 k here or there, or spending for a meal at a restaurant, ice cream place but today she spent Rs 32 k at a grocery store which literally gave me a heart attack. I obviously felt compelled to ask her about it. I didn't ask her aggressively or raise the topic immediately. I waited while asking about her day, how she was doing and 15-20 minutes i decided to ease in to the conversation and asked her what did you spend Rs 32k on at a grocery stroke, that also with a few smilies. I didn't want to ask her in an agree or nasty condescending tone like my sister's husband does with my sister but still it was important that i have this conversation with her.
She claims she got a gift for a family member and a chocolate. I told her that its my job to provide for her and to keep her happy and then in a light hearted tone also told her to please understand the heart attack i will get if i see a charge of Rs 32k on our card. I then told her that lets reach an agreement that if either of us needs to make a major expensive purchase then we will both keep each other in the loop and seek each others consent, run it by each other.
How do you guys have this sensitive conversation with your spouses without getting too overtly emotional with your spouse or being nasty, condescending with them at the same time?
I haven't really paid attention to her withdrawing from the ATM for Rs 5 k here or there, or spending for a meal at a restaurant, ice cream place but today she spent Rs 32 k at a grocery store which literally gave me a heart attack. I obviously felt compelled to ask her about it. I didn't ask her aggressively or raise the topic immediately. I waited while asking about her day, how she was doing and 15-20 minutes i decided to ease in to the conversation and asked her what did you spend Rs 32k on at a grocery stroke, that also with a few smilies. I didn't want to ask her in an agree or nasty condescending tone like my sister's husband does with my sister but still it was important that i have this conversation with her.
She claims she got a gift for a family member and a chocolate. I told her that its my job to provide for her and to keep her happy and then in a light hearted tone also told her to please understand the heart attack i will get if i see a charge of Rs 32k on our card. I then told her that lets reach an agreement that if either of us needs to make a major expensive purchase then we will both keep each other in the loop and seek each others consent, run it by each other.
How do you guys have this sensitive conversation with your spouses without getting too overtly emotional with your spouse or being nasty, condescending with them at the same time?
