How to deal with "gold diggers" in our society

[53fd]

We like to think our Asian women are less materialistic & demanding than Western ones. The reality is however, quite different. Just look at our society in the Indian subcontinent: most parents prefer their daughters getting married to someone based in a first world country over a local "candidate". Just because a girl is pretty (even if she is insecure & has zero personality, & is a nuisance & a pain in the **tt), she thinks she is entitled to the very best in the world. It is very hard to feel sympathy for gold diggers in our society, but the way our society is structured, the gold digger always progresses in life, whereas the fiercely independent & secure woman always treads her own path in life, never fully appreciated by society.

The men in our society also play their part in this debacle with their mercenarial tendencies, frail/fragile egos, their dependencies on their partner. In today's world, it's not enough being a "nice guy". Doing justice to yourself: your mind, your body; & to others around you is imperative. And when issues of commitment & strength come, our men are weak defeatists. They prefer having a gold digger companion as they can't handle a strong, independent, secure woman as a partner. As a result of these factors, the relationships in our society become transanctional; & is the basis for everything wrong in our society. The West has its fair share of gold diggers as well, but there is much less 'institutionalized gold-digging' & entitlement in the West than there is in the East. Institutionalized gold-digging & entitlement in the East starts the day the girl finishes school, & her parents "sell" their daughter to the highest possible "bidder", usually quite a few years older than her. Western women also exhibit a lot of insecurities about their physical appearance, but the average Asian woman (coming from a less privileged background) is more insecure about her social standing & status (& how she is perceived in society) than a Western woman, & will do all kinds of things to improve her situation, even if it means 'sailing ship', or deteriorating an unsavory relationship (this does not excuse the defeatist & weak attitude of the men in our society).

These are some of the reasons why our women are backward, & do not exhibit strength & independence. In reality, there is no such thing as entitlement, & you have to struggle & fight for everything in life.

 

[BATMAN]

We only hear about this girl shortage problem of Indian subcontinent, but what is reality only Indians can tell you!

 

[livingdead]

We only hear about this girl shortage problem of Indian subcontinent, but what is reality only Indians can tell you!

If you are father of girl, you will complain shortage of boys. If you are father of a boy you will complain girl shortage.
Add to that, most people marry within their own language(state) and own caste( and even sub caste)
Then comes horoscope match.
However there is extreme case in haryana where the sex ration is too skewed.

About NRI being given preference, that is only I guess in punjab and andhra pradesh (where everybody wants to go to UK/canada/US. In other places it could be a disadvantage for you.

 

[MUHARIB]

We only hear about this girl shortage problem of Indian subcontinent, but what is reality only Indians can tell you!

Dude i know you hate us. But wow seriously, do you really have to show your hate in every thread? Why cant we all just have a good discussion and bash all those gold diggers and their parents??

 

[Armstrong]

For the most part I agree with you; our society is brimming with women who'd much rather lather themselves in make-up from head to toe, have a sorry excuse for a career and have their intellectual prowess extend very little beyond 'Novels' and a good command of the English Language, then otherwise ! Don't get me wrong...I like beauty and I love a good story but I can't remember the last time I had a good conversation with a lady who knew 'whats the difference between Communism and Socialism.....?', 'who the heck Nietzsche was and how is he relevant in today's world....?', 'Can quote a single speech of Jinnah barring those two or three oft-repeated ones' or 'knew what effect did Michaelangelo had on the Renaissance barring his paintings or sculptures' etc. The sad part is that whereas some women would know an answer to at least some of those things or be at the very least interested in finding about them....most of us men are a bunch of imbecilic baboons ! And yes materialism has crippled both of our genders one (the men) more so than the other (the women) !

P.S My cousin went for such a wife - a gold-digger ! He'd be talking about Freud and she'd stare at him blankly without a clue as to what he was talking about which is not very healthy for someone who'd like a good conversation about these things and when he asked her to enrol in college for a 'Post-Graduate Degree' to make a career for herself...any career of her choosing...she'd much rather sit at home and watch soap operas ! She finally left him with quite a bit of his money when they got divorced ! Similarly my other cousin (a lady) - a brilliant person who is currently pursuing a doctorate in Philosophy and can quote 'Spinoza, Lebiniz, Nietzsche, Locke etc.' of the top of her head and make mind-numbing arguments at times ended up being married to another one of her cousins (on the insistence of her parents) who whilst had a thriving business thought that 'Thoreau - as in Henry David Thoreau' was a misspelling in one of her 'article's' of the word 'through' and he was adamant that he knew what he was talking about despite repeated attempts by her to explain the contrary !

P.P.S Its probably not worth marrying any more unless you truly find someone unique ! Because women out there want a sh*t load of money that they can spend and most men would much rather have their dreams crushed (if they have any to begin with) and work like donkey's for the rest of their lives to pay for their extravagant tastes then otherwise !

 

[Thəorətic Muslim]

Well written, you should see some of the Pakistani-American girls in America, . Sadly have a beautiful wife has always been the norm in the world.

Men, who want to marry an independent woman, usually face pressure from their mothers who want a obedient daughter-in-law.

 

[Armstrong]

Well written, you should see some of the Pakistani-American girls in America, . Sadly have a beautiful wife has always been the norm in the world.

Men, who want to marry an independent woman, usually face pressure from their mothers who want a obedient daughter-in-law.

Any man worth his manhood should take a stand in such an instance ! Whats the point of having a life-partner who, instead of being a pillar of strength for you, is a liability, albeit an initially desirable one to have ! And any women worth her femininity should build herself up into 'a strong, independent person with her own passions and achievements' so that asking her hand in marriage is a prize worth pursuing !

 

[53fd]

There are quite a few 'gold digging men' in society as well... mercenarial tendencies & the lack of strength/resolve are the reasons why the societies in the Indian subcontinent (Pakistan, India, Bangladesh etc) never progress.

 

[truthseer]

most parents prefer their daughters getting married to someone based in a first world country over a local "candidate".

Wrong, most parents are so suspicious that they think all people living abroad must already have a girlfriend, a child and a wife!

 

[RazPaK]

Q. How to deal with gold-diggers in our society?

A. You don't.

 

[BATMAN]

There are quite a few 'gold digging men' in society as well... mercenarial tendencies & the lack of strength/resolve are the reasons why the societies in the Indian subcontinent (Pakistan, India, Bangladesh etc) never progress.

Pakistan's cultural issues are different than of Indian and so on with Bangladesh.

Whole idea of separation under 2 nation theory was 180° shift in cultures.

After 60 years of separation only Indians have adopted to Pakistan type of dress and food but mentality and culturally we still stand apart.

Hence, this regular attempts to establish common grounds is an epic fail.

 

[Splurgenxs]

Girls inherently all of em are gold digger except for the odd few. Its hard wired ,survival of the fittest thing in there genetics.

But , thts just the outer layer. Girls tend to have high aspirations as to what they wana see in a partner and usually it works in conjunction with there looks.

But once u blow that bubble they tend to become very mature and realistic.(low maintenance)
IF on the other hand the bubble is let to Inflate ,it take monstrous proportions. (High maintenance)


Dudes, usually novices ,tend to go all out on a girl and then get blown to pieces and then give up.

Men need to ease into a steady conversation over a good period of time and show ur trustworthiness and emotional stability.
Women will keep coming back for more. Then gradually kick it up a notch with "i find u pretty" or something.

I find the parental role in Marriage severely disastrous on this whole issue.its hard enough as it is.

 

[Sam_Bajwa]

well after all its a personal choice you see most of the indian men prefer homely girl's rather than working which you consider important to be self dependent the thing is our conservative approach plays an important part in such decisions.

 

[Armstrong]

Why do I have the feeling that Elmo is going to come and slaughter the lot of us !

 

[RazPaK]