Yankee-stani
ELITE MEMBER
- Joined
- Aug 22, 2018
- Messages
- 8,100
- Reaction score
- 1
- Country
- Location
Waves of religious fervor come and go. A collapse of a functioning Pakistani state in the face of environmental collapse, foreign conflict, civil war or economic drain would leave the populace open to new sources of order.
Should a Hindu power step in as the chief patron of the territories that comprise Pakistan and combine their patronage with the muscle of conversion and Hindu migration, then over the long centuries Islam would fade.
One could argue that the Islamic identity of Pakistan is already morphing into a new form as a younger generation begins to replace us, one with a more cosmopolitan view of the world thanks to the internet and the long dark of the terror wars that plagued the entirety of the beginning of the new millennia.
I’m curious as to why you would think this is a desirable goal.
Is it out of the hope that Pakistan would reunite with India or return Pakistan to it’s hindu roots or improve relations between Pakistan and India?
Lets image that over night, through sheer magic, all of Pakistan wakes up one morning as Hindus.
Day 1
The Indian PM calls up his counterpart in Pakistan: “Brother Imran Kumar, I am overjoyed to see you and your nation have seen the light of day! We have finally reversed the tide of Islam that has corrupted our land! From henceforth, a new golden era will begin in South Asia of a Hindu Raj, and we will return this land to the glorious days of Ashoka, Gupta and Maurya!”
Imran Kumar: “Uhhh ok. Can you lend us $20 billion dollars?”
Modi: “…..uhh….what?”
IK: “Well its just that the Saudis and Gulfies used to fund us, and that just evaporated in thin air and our currency reserves are depleting. The Chinese are still funding us because they’re atheists (Krishna bless their hearts and show them the light) but we could really use some money right now. You guys are the Hindu Saudi Arabia right? Maybe throw some money our way?”
Modi: “Well I mean, we don’t have oil or anything but I’ll see what we can do…but I’m still so overjoyed to see Pakistan a Hindu nation!”
IK: “It’s Hindustan”
Modi: “…pardon?”
IK: “Hindustan ™. That’s our new name.”
Modi: “BUT THAT’S OUR NAME”
IK: “But we already have the stan though. Why cant we have the Hindu? You guys are the secular republic of India right? Yea no, we are a theocracy. Hinduism is our official religion. So we get Hindustan.”
Modi: “WHY YOU….*deep breath* *yoga pose* *meditate* Ok, fine, you guys are Hindustan. Anyway, to celebrate our new brotherhood of Hinduism, lets have a ceremony at Katas Raj temple to show our good faith! It will be so amazing for Hindus in India to finally visit their ancestral temples in Pakis-I mean, Hindustan again!”
IK: “Yea sure. As long as they can afford the tourist visa.”
Modi: “……………what”
IK: “Like, they can come, but they need to apply for a visa and pay for it. We are a poor country. Hindu pilgrim money sure do shine!”
Modi: “….you literally just asked me for 20 billion dollars and now you’re charging Indian citizens to visit their ancestral temples?”
IK: “Yes’
Modi: “I honestly liked you guys better as Muslims”
Day 2
IK: “Ummm Modi. Since you’re bein generous and all, how about you give us some of those sweet sweet rivers that got divied up in the Indus water treaty? We are literally running dry here”
Modi: “Imran Kumar, I swear, you are really getting on my nerves now. I am paying for your broke *** economy, sending Hindu pilgrims your way on subsidized pilgrimage to Hindustan (I cant believe you trademarked that name). You STILL haven’t implemented a SINGLE reform that the economic advisers I sent to your country told you to make. All of your money is going to political patronage, debt payments and shitty development projects that lead nowhere. And now water??? You have one of the most wasteful irrigation systems in the world. I gave you the number of that Israeli guy who did all my plumbing. Why don’t you call him to fix your irrigation system to make it more efficient?”
IK: “Ok I will….if you pay for it”
Modi: “BROOOOO I SWEAR I WILL——you get the 3 eastern rivers for 5 years and you better get started on reforming your irrigation system to conserve water better, I got kids to feeds too”
IK: “Thenks bro”
Day 3
Imran Kumar: “I have decided that we north western Hindustanis are Brahmin 2.0s”
Modi: “I feel like I’m going to regret asking this but wtf is a Brahmin 2.0?”
IK: “We’ll I figured that since we are pretty fair skinned and tall and athletic out here in the North West and Kashmir, we should form an elite caste of our own and basically everyone else can suck it. We already downgraded the Punjabis in Jhelum to warrior caste and the Sindhis to untouchables (except the business ones, they get to be Vaisyas). We still have to think up a caste for the Balochis though.”
Modi: “I….don’t think you understand how caste system works.”
IK: “Dont tell me what to do, Brahmin 1.0”
Modi: “OH WOW OK SO I LEND YOU MONEY FOR YOUR BROKE *** AND I’M ONE CASTE RANK BELOW YOU???”
IK: “…..if I say yes, would you still release the next tranche of the new 20 billion dollar assistance program?”
Modi: *hangs up*
Day 4
Modi: “IK what the hell is going on there in Hindustan? I’m seeing tanks rolling down the capital city!!!”
General Bhajarangi: “Henlo Modi sarkaar, I have launched a coup and deposed Imran Kumar. He was interfering too much with the military economy, the ministry of defense and the ministry of foreign affairs. Talking about how we need to downsize the military now that relations with India are better. Of course, we couldn’t allow that since it’s almost golf season and my boys are in no mood for cuts to their housing projects. Also, I’m the President now.”
Modi: “……i’m not sure why, but for some reason I thought you guys would just turn into a democracy now that you were Hindus but in afterthought, that makes no sense so I guess this is the reality I have to live with now”
General Bhajarangi: “haha whatever gave you that idea! Anyway, I have some proxies in extremist groups like Knights of Arjun and Soldiers of Krishna in training camps in the north west. They are aching for a glorious holy war in Afghanistan to retake the country and return it into the fold of Hinduism. You got my back right?”
Modi: “WHAT?? NO! Afghanistan is our friendly ally, DO NOT LAUNCH A HOLY COVERT WAR IN AFGHANISTAN”
GB: “Too late. We just did a suicide bombing in Afghanistan and are gunning down civilians in Kabul. Afghanistan banega Hindustan!”
Modi: *hangs up*
Day 5
Modi: “GB I gotta say, the situation in Hindustan is starting to worry me a lot. Are you sure your state is in charge of your territory??”
GB: “Well…yes but also no. Remember how we tried to implement caste system here? Well the warrior caste in Punjab and KPK that served as the recruiting grounds for our military and were accustomed to a super high socio-economic bracket don’t get why they now have to be ruled by the Brahmin 2.0s from regions with traditionally no political clout.
Also, we have a Buddhist insurgency in the North West and a Pharsi insurgency in Balochistan. Apparently, they are radical terrorists fighting against the imposition of caste and fighting for more regional autonomy within the political framework of Hindustan. I’m pretty sure the Afghans and Iranians are backing them. But that’s ok! I’m backing terrorist there too! Although tbh, I think I’ve pretty much lost control of the border with Iran at this point”
Modi: “Ok I can send some counter insurgency experts and equipment to help you out but bruh, seriously, hold some elections! You’re losing political control and inspiring deep resentment and uprisings with your martial law!”
GB: “meh”
Day 6
Modi: “12 pilgrims who were going to Katas Raj were abducted and murdered in Sindh, WTF IS GOING ON IN HINDUSTAN?!”
GB: “Oh so, remember how Pakistan used to have very weak state control, literacy rates and radicalization? Well, Hindustan has it too I’m afraid. We have a thuggee sect running rampant, murdering pilgrims and villagers in isolated communities as part of their worship of Kali. Some very weird extremist Hindu cults are emerging in the downtrodden, impoverished and radicalized segments of our country. I guess I could spend more on education, economy and law enforcement but tbh, I don’t wanna increase taxes and empower local provinces and communities because my power base might go against me if I do that. So oh well. Maybe you could send some security with your pilgrims?”
Modi: “You guys are really taking the cake with some of the weirdest Hindu cults I’ve seen”
GB: “Oh you’re telling me! We have some dudes in the slums in Karachi preaching a really radical version of Hinduism that seeks to purify the faith of all impurities! They’ve attacked women wearing bikinis on Karachi beach and they hold long debates over what constitutes a cow: The liberals say only a cow is a cow. But the hardliners say, anything on 4 legs that looks like a cow is a cow. So oxen, big *** goats and maybe horses can count as sacred in Hindustan too. Did I mention we are a Hindu theocracy? Eating beef is legally forbidden here haha!”
But yea seriously, the rural areas and countryside where poverty and illiteracy is extreme is completely out of our control and Hindu Yogis and preachers with powerful political connections to deliver votes, preach whatever they want. Some of them go all Devi and just have sex parties in their mansions. Others prey on the vulnerable and ignorant to exploit them. Others are more militant and send young men to our proxy terror groups to carry out attacks against minority Buddhists or fight in Afghanistan”
Modi: …………………..*hangs up*
Day 7
Modi: “GB YOU SONUVABITCH!! RAW TELLS ME THAT THE MOST RECENT BOMBING IN KASHMIR WAS FROM TERRORISTS BASED IN PAKIS-I MEAN- HINDUSTAN!! WHAT. THE. HELL”
GB: “Well, you see our water ways are still in India, and that’s bad tbh. We sorta half assed the irrigation thing you told us about after we murdered the Israeli guy you sent us cause he ate beef in the mess hall. We’re still running low on water and you guys aren’t giving us more water flow. So the ISI sorta may have used some of the veterans of the Knights of Arjun and Soldiers of Krishna terror groups that we operated in Iran and Afghanistan and sent them over to Kashmir instead. So we could sorta maybe test the waters of another popular uprising there. We offered the Kashmiri pandits the Brahmin 2.0 status and offered to make them part of a unified Kashmir. And we also offered to slaughter the Muslims in Kashmir as part of our holy war thingy that we started in Afghanistan. Pretty neat yea? Kashmir banega Hindustan!”
Modi: “WHY DID I EVEN THINK YOU GUYS WOULD HAVE PEACE WITH US ONCE YOU WERE HINDUS. YOU’RE EVEN FUNDING MILITANTS AND EXTREMISTS IN INDIA NOW”
GB: “Bruh, have you seen the violent Buddhists in Burma and Sri Lanka? Lol, it’s just politics. Don’t get so mad. Anyway, yea, I gotta destabilize you a little bit. Plus to be honest, you’re republic is a joke, so I’m just gonna link up with some radicals on your end. Show them what a real Rashtra looks like. Maybe have a friendly government in New Delhi at some point in the future who are sorta like us!
Also I kinda have to stay on the Hindu extremist’s good side cause they are part of my nation building process and helping me fight against the Buddhist and Pharsi insurgents who are gaining quite a few converts in the countryside to the North West with their anti-casteism message! Can’t let that stuff slide ya kno”
Modi: “this calls for surgical strikes, you know that right?”
GB: “Wow, bombing your fellow Hindu brothers huh? Wait till Nepal hears about this. Also, since you’re threatening me, I decided to give the Chinese bases in Hindustan. They love us now more cause they can drink alcohol and eat pork openly in Hindustan.”
Modi: “…………get your money from China now”
Day 8
Modi to his cabinet: “Gentleman, I call you here today to discuss the extreme threat emanating from the north west to India. From the terror supporting nation of Hindustan. I want to ask the defense chiefs to draw up plans on how to counteract this imminent threat. All Hindustan does is act as a cesspool of the worst forms of extremism our region has seen. They have militant Hindu cults that I have never even see running amok all over their territory. Either because their state is too weak to control them or they're military uses them as proxies in their conflicts with their neighbors.
They have an air of superiority about them where their fair skinned Pashtuns and Kashmirs and Northern Punjabis have declared themselves the true Aryans and Brahmin 2.0s and considered everyone else inferior to them.
Their treatment of minorities is abhorrent and violent Buddhist and Pharsi insurgencies rock their cities and northwest.
They have major border tensions with Afghanistan and ourselves as they sponsor violent Hindu terror groups in both countries in pursuit of strategic and ideological objectives.
Their military has deliberately maintained a state of cold war with India in order to maintain their control over Hindustani politics and their military economy.
Radical forms of Hinduism and cults run amok there, and several Hindu temples have been demolished by more radical Hindu groups themselves to build their mandirs and temples. Kali worshipers attack peaceful pilgrims and have recently demolished a temple to Hanuman to erect their own shrine over it. Violent verses are taken out of context to justify attacks on other Hindu schools of thoughts.
The Hindustani military and their militant proxy groups promote a more aggressive version of Hinduism based around the worship of Kartikeya and their goal is to establish the ancient Hindu empires in a puritanical and orthodox form over territories that stretch from Afghanistan to current day Bangladesh. They have completely distorted Hindu religious scriptures in order to justify their strategic goals and their national ideological purposes.
Their attitudes towards Indians are despicable as they consider us lower caste than themselves. And they have attacked allied states like Afghanistan and Iran in their ideological pursuit of restoring those territories to their version of Hinduism.
They are still a military autocracy, fast approaching a Fascist-corporate form of militarism combined with ethno-nationalism. Democracy is suppressed and totalitarianism runs amok with suppression of the press and independent judiciary.
Everyday, they conduct missile tests and name their missiles provocatively to challenge and threaten us (Murugan 1, Skanda 2, Kumara 3 and so on). Their nuclear capability is expanding and their arsenal is increasingly focused on India.
Their economic state is concerning and could lead to an implosion of their state at any time. They are still mired in illiteracy and malnutrition due to diversion of resources to defense and to maintain the living standards of who they define as their upper castes.
Their treatment of visiting Indians is abhorrent. Sikh businessmen and property dealers attempting to purchase property in Punjab have been attacked over fears of a “Sikhisation” of Punjab by an insecure Hindu majority there. And Indian men who have married Hindustani women have been accused of Love Jihad by Hindustani families who consider their caste above those of India. Some of these men have been murdered by the woman’s family.
There has been increased trading of fire between both our militaries at the LOC as the Hindustani proxies and intelligence agencies attempt to radicalize and gain the support of Kashmiri Pandits with their more militant form of Hinduism that promises them more elevated position is society, a reunification of Kashmir and a pitch that they are closer ethnically with Hindustani Hindus than Indian Hindus. But this is just a springboard for the Hindustani state’s attempts to wrest control of major waterways flowing into Hindustan away from India.
In short, we have no choice but to pursue a policy of isolation against Hindustan and to develop policies to contain the threat emanating from there.”
*Silence follows*
The Indian foreign minister finally speaks up: “Mr. Modi, we are on board with your plan 100%. And this was a very nice speech. I just have one question though.
Did you really think all our problems would be solved once everyone became Hindu?”
Indian soldiers patrol the tense LOC borders against incursions from the Hindustani Rashtra nation state in the North West in this hypothetical alternative universe.
Edit: In response to comments about whether I’m implying Pakistanis are genetically violent or inherently dysfunctional: No, that wasn’t the point of the answer. The point of the answer was that if only the religion changes but the current political problems stay the same, then we just end up with Hindu versions of current Pakistani problems. The underlying politics are what drive conflict and dysfunction. And those politics are what need resolution, not the religious affiliation of the people in the conflict zone.
4.1k Views · View Upvoters · View Sharers
Should a Hindu power step in as the chief patron of the territories that comprise Pakistan and combine their patronage with the muscle of conversion and Hindu migration, then over the long centuries Islam would fade.
One could argue that the Islamic identity of Pakistan is already morphing into a new form as a younger generation begins to replace us, one with a more cosmopolitan view of the world thanks to the internet and the long dark of the terror wars that plagued the entirety of the beginning of the new millennia.
I’m curious as to why you would think this is a desirable goal.
Is it out of the hope that Pakistan would reunite with India or return Pakistan to it’s hindu roots or improve relations between Pakistan and India?
Lets image that over night, through sheer magic, all of Pakistan wakes up one morning as Hindus.
Day 1
The Indian PM calls up his counterpart in Pakistan: “Brother Imran Kumar, I am overjoyed to see you and your nation have seen the light of day! We have finally reversed the tide of Islam that has corrupted our land! From henceforth, a new golden era will begin in South Asia of a Hindu Raj, and we will return this land to the glorious days of Ashoka, Gupta and Maurya!”
Imran Kumar: “Uhhh ok. Can you lend us $20 billion dollars?”
Modi: “…..uhh….what?”
IK: “Well its just that the Saudis and Gulfies used to fund us, and that just evaporated in thin air and our currency reserves are depleting. The Chinese are still funding us because they’re atheists (Krishna bless their hearts and show them the light) but we could really use some money right now. You guys are the Hindu Saudi Arabia right? Maybe throw some money our way?”
Modi: “Well I mean, we don’t have oil or anything but I’ll see what we can do…but I’m still so overjoyed to see Pakistan a Hindu nation!”
IK: “It’s Hindustan”
Modi: “…pardon?”
IK: “Hindustan ™. That’s our new name.”
Modi: “BUT THAT’S OUR NAME”
IK: “But we already have the stan though. Why cant we have the Hindu? You guys are the secular republic of India right? Yea no, we are a theocracy. Hinduism is our official religion. So we get Hindustan.”
Modi: “WHY YOU….*deep breath* *yoga pose* *meditate* Ok, fine, you guys are Hindustan. Anyway, to celebrate our new brotherhood of Hinduism, lets have a ceremony at Katas Raj temple to show our good faith! It will be so amazing for Hindus in India to finally visit their ancestral temples in Pakis-I mean, Hindustan again!”
IK: “Yea sure. As long as they can afford the tourist visa.”
Modi: “……………what”
IK: “Like, they can come, but they need to apply for a visa and pay for it. We are a poor country. Hindu pilgrim money sure do shine!”
Modi: “….you literally just asked me for 20 billion dollars and now you’re charging Indian citizens to visit their ancestral temples?”
IK: “Yes’
Modi: “I honestly liked you guys better as Muslims”
Day 2
IK: “Ummm Modi. Since you’re bein generous and all, how about you give us some of those sweet sweet rivers that got divied up in the Indus water treaty? We are literally running dry here”
Modi: “Imran Kumar, I swear, you are really getting on my nerves now. I am paying for your broke *** economy, sending Hindu pilgrims your way on subsidized pilgrimage to Hindustan (I cant believe you trademarked that name). You STILL haven’t implemented a SINGLE reform that the economic advisers I sent to your country told you to make. All of your money is going to political patronage, debt payments and shitty development projects that lead nowhere. And now water??? You have one of the most wasteful irrigation systems in the world. I gave you the number of that Israeli guy who did all my plumbing. Why don’t you call him to fix your irrigation system to make it more efficient?”
IK: “Ok I will….if you pay for it”
Modi: “BROOOOO I SWEAR I WILL——you get the 3 eastern rivers for 5 years and you better get started on reforming your irrigation system to conserve water better, I got kids to feeds too”
IK: “Thenks bro”
Day 3
Imran Kumar: “I have decided that we north western Hindustanis are Brahmin 2.0s”
Modi: “I feel like I’m going to regret asking this but wtf is a Brahmin 2.0?”
IK: “We’ll I figured that since we are pretty fair skinned and tall and athletic out here in the North West and Kashmir, we should form an elite caste of our own and basically everyone else can suck it. We already downgraded the Punjabis in Jhelum to warrior caste and the Sindhis to untouchables (except the business ones, they get to be Vaisyas). We still have to think up a caste for the Balochis though.”
Modi: “I….don’t think you understand how caste system works.”
IK: “Dont tell me what to do, Brahmin 1.0”
Modi: “OH WOW OK SO I LEND YOU MONEY FOR YOUR BROKE *** AND I’M ONE CASTE RANK BELOW YOU???”
IK: “…..if I say yes, would you still release the next tranche of the new 20 billion dollar assistance program?”
Modi: *hangs up*
Day 4
Modi: “IK what the hell is going on there in Hindustan? I’m seeing tanks rolling down the capital city!!!”
General Bhajarangi: “Henlo Modi sarkaar, I have launched a coup and deposed Imran Kumar. He was interfering too much with the military economy, the ministry of defense and the ministry of foreign affairs. Talking about how we need to downsize the military now that relations with India are better. Of course, we couldn’t allow that since it’s almost golf season and my boys are in no mood for cuts to their housing projects. Also, I’m the President now.”
Modi: “……i’m not sure why, but for some reason I thought you guys would just turn into a democracy now that you were Hindus but in afterthought, that makes no sense so I guess this is the reality I have to live with now”
General Bhajarangi: “haha whatever gave you that idea! Anyway, I have some proxies in extremist groups like Knights of Arjun and Soldiers of Krishna in training camps in the north west. They are aching for a glorious holy war in Afghanistan to retake the country and return it into the fold of Hinduism. You got my back right?”
Modi: “WHAT?? NO! Afghanistan is our friendly ally, DO NOT LAUNCH A HOLY COVERT WAR IN AFGHANISTAN”
GB: “Too late. We just did a suicide bombing in Afghanistan and are gunning down civilians in Kabul. Afghanistan banega Hindustan!”
Modi: *hangs up*
Day 5
Modi: “GB I gotta say, the situation in Hindustan is starting to worry me a lot. Are you sure your state is in charge of your territory??”
GB: “Well…yes but also no. Remember how we tried to implement caste system here? Well the warrior caste in Punjab and KPK that served as the recruiting grounds for our military and were accustomed to a super high socio-economic bracket don’t get why they now have to be ruled by the Brahmin 2.0s from regions with traditionally no political clout.
Also, we have a Buddhist insurgency in the North West and a Pharsi insurgency in Balochistan. Apparently, they are radical terrorists fighting against the imposition of caste and fighting for more regional autonomy within the political framework of Hindustan. I’m pretty sure the Afghans and Iranians are backing them. But that’s ok! I’m backing terrorist there too! Although tbh, I think I’ve pretty much lost control of the border with Iran at this point”
Modi: “Ok I can send some counter insurgency experts and equipment to help you out but bruh, seriously, hold some elections! You’re losing political control and inspiring deep resentment and uprisings with your martial law!”
GB: “meh”
Day 6
Modi: “12 pilgrims who were going to Katas Raj were abducted and murdered in Sindh, WTF IS GOING ON IN HINDUSTAN?!”
GB: “Oh so, remember how Pakistan used to have very weak state control, literacy rates and radicalization? Well, Hindustan has it too I’m afraid. We have a thuggee sect running rampant, murdering pilgrims and villagers in isolated communities as part of their worship of Kali. Some very weird extremist Hindu cults are emerging in the downtrodden, impoverished and radicalized segments of our country. I guess I could spend more on education, economy and law enforcement but tbh, I don’t wanna increase taxes and empower local provinces and communities because my power base might go against me if I do that. So oh well. Maybe you could send some security with your pilgrims?”
Modi: “You guys are really taking the cake with some of the weirdest Hindu cults I’ve seen”
GB: “Oh you’re telling me! We have some dudes in the slums in Karachi preaching a really radical version of Hinduism that seeks to purify the faith of all impurities! They’ve attacked women wearing bikinis on Karachi beach and they hold long debates over what constitutes a cow: The liberals say only a cow is a cow. But the hardliners say, anything on 4 legs that looks like a cow is a cow. So oxen, big *** goats and maybe horses can count as sacred in Hindustan too. Did I mention we are a Hindu theocracy? Eating beef is legally forbidden here haha!”
But yea seriously, the rural areas and countryside where poverty and illiteracy is extreme is completely out of our control and Hindu Yogis and preachers with powerful political connections to deliver votes, preach whatever they want. Some of them go all Devi and just have sex parties in their mansions. Others prey on the vulnerable and ignorant to exploit them. Others are more militant and send young men to our proxy terror groups to carry out attacks against minority Buddhists or fight in Afghanistan”
Modi: …………………..*hangs up*
Day 7
Modi: “GB YOU SONUVABITCH!! RAW TELLS ME THAT THE MOST RECENT BOMBING IN KASHMIR WAS FROM TERRORISTS BASED IN PAKIS-I MEAN- HINDUSTAN!! WHAT. THE. HELL”
GB: “Well, you see our water ways are still in India, and that’s bad tbh. We sorta half assed the irrigation thing you told us about after we murdered the Israeli guy you sent us cause he ate beef in the mess hall. We’re still running low on water and you guys aren’t giving us more water flow. So the ISI sorta may have used some of the veterans of the Knights of Arjun and Soldiers of Krishna terror groups that we operated in Iran and Afghanistan and sent them over to Kashmir instead. So we could sorta maybe test the waters of another popular uprising there. We offered the Kashmiri pandits the Brahmin 2.0 status and offered to make them part of a unified Kashmir. And we also offered to slaughter the Muslims in Kashmir as part of our holy war thingy that we started in Afghanistan. Pretty neat yea? Kashmir banega Hindustan!”
Modi: “WHY DID I EVEN THINK YOU GUYS WOULD HAVE PEACE WITH US ONCE YOU WERE HINDUS. YOU’RE EVEN FUNDING MILITANTS AND EXTREMISTS IN INDIA NOW”
GB: “Bruh, have you seen the violent Buddhists in Burma and Sri Lanka? Lol, it’s just politics. Don’t get so mad. Anyway, yea, I gotta destabilize you a little bit. Plus to be honest, you’re republic is a joke, so I’m just gonna link up with some radicals on your end. Show them what a real Rashtra looks like. Maybe have a friendly government in New Delhi at some point in the future who are sorta like us!
Also I kinda have to stay on the Hindu extremist’s good side cause they are part of my nation building process and helping me fight against the Buddhist and Pharsi insurgents who are gaining quite a few converts in the countryside to the North West with their anti-casteism message! Can’t let that stuff slide ya kno”
Modi: “this calls for surgical strikes, you know that right?”
GB: “Wow, bombing your fellow Hindu brothers huh? Wait till Nepal hears about this. Also, since you’re threatening me, I decided to give the Chinese bases in Hindustan. They love us now more cause they can drink alcohol and eat pork openly in Hindustan.”
Modi: “…………get your money from China now”
Day 8
Modi to his cabinet: “Gentleman, I call you here today to discuss the extreme threat emanating from the north west to India. From the terror supporting nation of Hindustan. I want to ask the defense chiefs to draw up plans on how to counteract this imminent threat. All Hindustan does is act as a cesspool of the worst forms of extremism our region has seen. They have militant Hindu cults that I have never even see running amok all over their territory. Either because their state is too weak to control them or they're military uses them as proxies in their conflicts with their neighbors.
They have an air of superiority about them where their fair skinned Pashtuns and Kashmirs and Northern Punjabis have declared themselves the true Aryans and Brahmin 2.0s and considered everyone else inferior to them.
Their treatment of minorities is abhorrent and violent Buddhist and Pharsi insurgencies rock their cities and northwest.
They have major border tensions with Afghanistan and ourselves as they sponsor violent Hindu terror groups in both countries in pursuit of strategic and ideological objectives.
Their military has deliberately maintained a state of cold war with India in order to maintain their control over Hindustani politics and their military economy.
Radical forms of Hinduism and cults run amok there, and several Hindu temples have been demolished by more radical Hindu groups themselves to build their mandirs and temples. Kali worshipers attack peaceful pilgrims and have recently demolished a temple to Hanuman to erect their own shrine over it. Violent verses are taken out of context to justify attacks on other Hindu schools of thoughts.
The Hindustani military and their militant proxy groups promote a more aggressive version of Hinduism based around the worship of Kartikeya and their goal is to establish the ancient Hindu empires in a puritanical and orthodox form over territories that stretch from Afghanistan to current day Bangladesh. They have completely distorted Hindu religious scriptures in order to justify their strategic goals and their national ideological purposes.
Their attitudes towards Indians are despicable as they consider us lower caste than themselves. And they have attacked allied states like Afghanistan and Iran in their ideological pursuit of restoring those territories to their version of Hinduism.
They are still a military autocracy, fast approaching a Fascist-corporate form of militarism combined with ethno-nationalism. Democracy is suppressed and totalitarianism runs amok with suppression of the press and independent judiciary.
Everyday, they conduct missile tests and name their missiles provocatively to challenge and threaten us (Murugan 1, Skanda 2, Kumara 3 and so on). Their nuclear capability is expanding and their arsenal is increasingly focused on India.
Their economic state is concerning and could lead to an implosion of their state at any time. They are still mired in illiteracy and malnutrition due to diversion of resources to defense and to maintain the living standards of who they define as their upper castes.
Their treatment of visiting Indians is abhorrent. Sikh businessmen and property dealers attempting to purchase property in Punjab have been attacked over fears of a “Sikhisation” of Punjab by an insecure Hindu majority there. And Indian men who have married Hindustani women have been accused of Love Jihad by Hindustani families who consider their caste above those of India. Some of these men have been murdered by the woman’s family.
There has been increased trading of fire between both our militaries at the LOC as the Hindustani proxies and intelligence agencies attempt to radicalize and gain the support of Kashmiri Pandits with their more militant form of Hinduism that promises them more elevated position is society, a reunification of Kashmir and a pitch that they are closer ethnically with Hindustani Hindus than Indian Hindus. But this is just a springboard for the Hindustani state’s attempts to wrest control of major waterways flowing into Hindustan away from India.
In short, we have no choice but to pursue a policy of isolation against Hindustan and to develop policies to contain the threat emanating from there.”
*Silence follows*
The Indian foreign minister finally speaks up: “Mr. Modi, we are on board with your plan 100%. And this was a very nice speech. I just have one question though.
Did you really think all our problems would be solved once everyone became Hindu?”
Indian soldiers patrol the tense LOC borders against incursions from the Hindustani Rashtra nation state in the North West in this hypothetical alternative universe.
Edit: In response to comments about whether I’m implying Pakistanis are genetically violent or inherently dysfunctional: No, that wasn’t the point of the answer. The point of the answer was that if only the religion changes but the current political problems stay the same, then we just end up with Hindu versions of current Pakistani problems. The underlying politics are what drive conflict and dysfunction. And those politics are what need resolution, not the religious affiliation of the people in the conflict zone.
4.1k Views · View Upvoters · View Sharers
