Bangladesh: Divorce rate shoots up at alarming rate

[Homo Sapiens]

Divorce rate shoots up at alarming rate Published : Friday, 25 December, 2020 at 12:00 AM​

​ Divorce was once thought to be an ailment of capitalist societies in the Western world. But recently we came across an eye-opening statistics of talak or divorce rate reported by a leading Bangla daily. Though the rest of the country lags far behind, urban centres like Dhaka, Chattogram and Sylhet seem to have defeated some of the western countries in number of divorces. As many as 39 divorces are taking place in the capital every day or one divorce in every 37 minutes in the five months from June. It is indeed beyond our imagination. Chattogram follows with 18 divorces a day. But it is Sylhet where submission of divorce appeal has gone up 10 times higher in the first 10 months of this year. Particularly, in June we saw a surge of divorce notices. Between June and October, 5,970 divorces were completed. In a city of 18 million, divorce had been already high before the pandemic. In 2019, the number of divorces was 920 in each month during the five months under review as against 1,194 ---an increase of 29.78 per cent. The grim scenario also depicts how the corona pandemic has messed up the conjugal lives of many crossing the level of tolerance. As it becomes crystal clear, couples already suffering strained relations found this pandemic either more oppressive or used it as an excuse for getting rid of their husbands or wives. This increasing trend of breakup marriage ties certainly corresponds to a higher incidence of domestic violence reported both in countries like Bangladesh and in cosmopolitan and advanced countries of the western world. For some people spending time with dominant partners who are also oppressive makes things worse and simply impossible for them to stay glued together. Furthermore, one of the reasons is financial constraint triggered by the lockdown. As high as 70 per cent divorce petitions were filed by women. This further highlights male domination and at the same time a positive trend that women receive support from their parents' families and the antithesis of the stigma attached to women divorcees. However, it is acknowledged by everyone that the ultimate victims of a broken family are children. Children become deprived of love and care of their parents. Therefore, the parents must open the door of reconciliation. They also need to be more tolerant. Couples must sincerely and mutually work to make their marriages joyful. Lastly, a culturally developed mindset is needed to get rid of from this malaise. Divorce rate shoots up at alarming rate - Editorial - observerbd.com www.observerbd.com

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Divorce doubles, separation triples in one decade

Divorce doubles, separation triples in one decade

The rate of people getting divorced and living separately from their spouses almost doubled over the last decade, revealed a recent

www.thedailystar.net

Notices in Dhaka mostly come from women


Reaz Ahmad, Mohammad Al-Masum Molla
Fri Aug 4, 2017 12:00 AM Last update on: Mon Aug 7, 2017 01:04 PM

The rate of people getting divorced and living separately from their spouses almost doubled over the last decade, revealed a recent Bangladesh Bureau of Statistics (BBS) report.

Marriage registrars, psychologists and gender experts noted loss of family bonds and values, polygamy and extra-marital affairs, virtual world, and economically empowered women opting out of marriages following mental and physical torture as reasons for increasing divorces and separations.

In 2006, the crude rate of divorce was 0.6 per one thousand of the population and this increased to 1.1 in 2016 while the rate of separations also rose to 0.6 from 0.2 during the same period.
The report finds that the educational level of women appear to be associated with the crude divorce rate.

It showed that the rate of crude divorce was highest for those having attained at least a secondary level of education, with the figure standing at 1.7 per one thousand. Those with no education had a rate of divorce of 0.5.

In rural areas, the divorce rate was 1.3 per thousand. In urban areas it was 0.8.
According to the report, Rajshahi division had the highest rate of divorce, 1.9 per thousand, followed by Khulna, 1.3.
The incidents of divorce were highest in the 25-29 age group, 2.7.

In Dhaka city, a fragment of the divorcees actually pre-notify the two city corporations prior to taking the recourse. The records of the two city corporations show that 5,353 people submitted such notices in 2012 while the number rose to 7,458 last year.
Nearly seven out of 10 such notices that the two city corporations received came from the wives. In some cases, couples refrained from divorcing each other even after filing notices but that number was not significant.

According to the BBS, some of the most common reasons behind decisions of separation and divorce stem from an inability to maintaining a conjugal life, failure in providing subsistence, immoral practices, incurable diseases, physical assault, dowry, premature marriage, infertility and polygamy.
Md Mamunur Rashid Khan, a marriage registrar of the city's Kulutola Kazi Office, told The Daily Star that the number of divorce incidents increased over the last few years.

"On an average, I get 10 cases of divorces a month whereas it was only five a few years ago," said Rashid, also the senior joint secretary of Bangladesh Muslim Marriage Registrars Association.
He said young peoples' exposure to the virtual world, involvement in ill-planned emotional relationships, and extra-marital affairs contributed to the rise in the incidents of divorce these days.

The marriage registrar said in seven out of 10 cases, it was the wives who sought divorce. "But it doesn't mean women are more likely to divorce as I have noticed in many of these cases that actually the husbands made the wives take the first move for different strategic reasons."

Eminent psychologist Farida Akhtar told The Daily Star there were many dimensions to men-women marital relationship and for different reasons the relationship could get strenuous.
"Today's women are more conscious about their rights. Every modern woman likes to see her life become meaningful. If any relationship (marriage in this case) becomes a roadblock in achieving her life's dream, she may choose to break free," explained Farida.

She said differences in men-women pre-marriage and post-marriage understanding, doubts over spouse's friendship with other men/women, drug addiction, deceptions, impotence and impact of overall societal unrest were also being translated into increased number of divorces these days.

Tania Haque teaches Women and Gender Studies at Dhaka University. She told The Daily Star that women's entry into the job market gave them confidence, financial freedom and more decision-making power and in certain cases it became possible for them to not tolerate subjugation from their male counterparts.

The DU associate professor believes that many, influenced by the virtual world, tend to live in fantasies. They disengage from their surroundings and eventually go for breakups on flimsy grounds.
"We're seeing erosion of familial commitment, values and many even can't afford spending quality family-time because of too much work in a fast-moving world."

 

[Homo Sapiens]

Broken marriages: Coping with fallouts
Neil Ray | Published: June 20, 2021 22:17:08 | Updated: June 21, 2021 22:25:52

When 37 divorce petitions are filed a day at any capital city of a nation, the incidence gives quite an idea of the tenuous relations of conjugal life in the urban space. The 37 cases mark a rise by two during the past few months over the 35 of the previous year. Then again, these figures do not include the broken marriages in the slums where the aggrieved party or anyone looking for leaving his/her partner does not care for such official separation by way of filing a divorce petition.

Of the complaints filed, 70 per cent are done by women who are mostly educated and solvent. Quite naturally, less than five per cent of such cases end in compromises. If anyone thinks that home confinement enforced by coronavirus is responsible for this high incidence of divorces, he/she would be off the mark. The fact is that the same trend has continued over the past nine years, according to a report. As the analysis claims, the rate of broken marriage is higher in the educated class. It may indeed be so, but the unregistered marriages that take place among the lowest segment of society living in slums fall apart like nine pins and go undocumented.

Women usually complain of nagging suspicion harboured by husbands, extra-marital affairs of husbands, drug addiction, physical and mental torture for dowries and last but not least impotency. On the other side of the argument by husbands, these include not following rules of Islamic Shariah, bad temper, disobedience and incapacity for begetting children. An analysis of 12,513 divorce cases submitted last year brings the above factors to the fore.

These are stated elements but there certainly remain other subtle issues that cannot be captured so simply and easily. For example personality clash, male chauvinism and women's insatiable pressure for achieving a high society status. If women are repressed widely, men satisfied with an honest and simple living are also subjected to constant psychological tortures in many cases. Both men and women bear with the hostilities up to a point, then they decide to part ways. If things get settled amicably, it is better for both. But in some cases either of the parties may fall a victim to the unbearable situation. Some of those cases end in tragedies.

Then there is yet another highly potent reason for a broken family. If children, when grown up, go astray, both husband and wife constantly blame each other for the failure to bring up the next generation up to their expectations. Life becomes poisonous for all the members of such families.
Broken families are not just a loss for people involved, in the ultimate analysis they prove a failure of society. Accepted that dissolution of marriages in certain cases is the best option and may indeed give both a new lease of life. But in most cases, the cankerous relations leave a deep laceration that at times leads to tragedies including suicides or murders.

In the Western societies, many now opt for living together, fearing that the relations may sour and should be terminated before the tipping point.
Even divorce has become common in those societies and in most cases those are brought to an end through mutual understanding and consent. This explains why independent and educated women here also file divorce suits in an overwhelming greater number. Those who are dependent have to bear with maltreatment and neglect because they have nowhere to go and live independently.

The occidental and oriental values differ to a large degree but with the infiltration of Western education and culture, things here are going the way of the West. Imitation of the very best of any culture is fine but it may be ruinous when the worst are equally embraced with open arms.
nilratanhalder2000@yahoo.com

Broken marriages: Coping with fallouts

When 37 divorce petitions are filed a day at any capital city of a nation, the incidence gives quite an idea of the tenuous relations of conjugal life in the urban space. The 37 cases mark a rise by two during the past few months over the 35 of the previous year. Then again, these figures do not in

www.thefinancialexpress.com.bd

 

[Bilal9]

I've noted two things.

a. Most upper middle class guys in Bangladesh either expect their wives to transform and
1. become either modern short-skirt wearing vamps or
2. on the other extreme, be burka-wallis and stay home.

b. Women in Bangladesh on the other hand have impractical romantic fantasies from watching either Western Chick-flicks or worse, Bollywood cheez-ball movies targeted at women (depends on culture and background). They expect men to sit next to them like a puppy, holding a corner of their dupatta.

Now - this is extreme example, but you all get the gist. People like this are more common in Bangladesh than not.

Both concepts are far removed from reality and ill-prepare young people for the rigors and challenges of a marriage. The spirit of compromise is wholly absent.

Add to that the extreme rigors of butting heads, while staying home under the same roof in a pandemic.

If divorces did not go up - that would be a surprise. But maybe the union was not meant to be.

At least Bangladeshi guys don't get skinned alive financially during a divorce.

 

[Destranator]

Upside of high divorce rate is couples are hesitant to have children which is fantastic.

 

[Bilal9]

Upside of high divorce rate is couples are hesitant to have children which is fantastic.

I think we should have educated people have more babies not less. At least they should be encouraged to do so....

Uneducated people having babies is kind of pointless, as they add to society's burden.

Harsh, but its the truth, if you think about it.

 

[Muhammad Saftain Anjum]

I've noted two things.

a. Most upper middle class guys in Bangladesh either expect their wives to transform and
1. become either modern short-skirt wearing vamps or
2. on the other extreme, be burka-wallis and stay home.

b. Women in Bangladesh on the other hand have impractical romantic fantasies from watching either Western Chick-flicks or worse, Bollywood cheez-ball movies targeted at women (depends on culture and background). They expect men to sit next to them like a puppy, holding a corner of their dupatta.

Now - this is extreme example, but you all get the gist. People like this are more common in Bangladesh than not.

Both concepts are far removed from reality and ill-prepare young people for the rigors and challenges of a marriage. The spirit of compromise is wholly absent.

Add to that the extreme rigors of butting heads, while staying home under the same roof in a pandemic.

If divorces did not go up - that would be a surprise. But maybe the union was not meant to be.

At least Bangladeshi guys don't get skinned alive financially during a divorce.

I don't know about Bangladesh but in our society, women's conflicts with husband's Mother and Sisters play a major role and sometimes sole reason for divorce between husband and wife.
Wata - sata problem had also been prominent in past but thank God, this is diminishing at rapid rate.

 

[Imran Khan]

only brave people take this step . if women know the rights more and more women will stand up and ask divorce . you can not treat women like cattle now

 

[EasyNow]

TBH the higher numbers are more like a correction to reflect the true state of marriages in South Asia.

Terrible marriages have always existed, they only stayed together due to social pressure or poverty. So the increase in numbers really just reflects what was already there.

Social norms have changed and divorce is not taboo anymore. Women are also not being patient anymore like they had to be. But we can't put the genie back in the bottle - and we shouldn't either - some marriages are better being ended.

 

[nahtanbob]

They expect men to sit next to them like a puppy, holding a corner of their dupatta.

I would not mind

 

[Destranator]

I think we should have educated people have more babies not less. At least they should be encouraged to do so....

Uneducated people having babies is kind of pointless, as they add to society's burden.

Harsh, but its the truth, if you think about it.

You can't regulate it like that - this would only drive up class division and resentment. People should have less or no children all across the board. Despite the risk of an ageing population as a result, we must reduce our population by a third if we are to ever become a developed country.

We should create an environment where people are encouraged to marry late and find raising kids troublesome. Keeping on educating women is certainly helping.

 

[Destranator]

TBH the higher numbers are more like a correction to reflect the true state of marriages in South Asia.

Terrible marriages have always existed, they only stayed together due to social pressure or poverty. So the increase in numbers really just reflects what was already there.

Social norms have changed and divorce is not taboo anymore. Women are also not being patient anymore like they had to be. But we can't put the genie back in the bottle - and we shouldn't either - some marriages are better being ended.

Spot on. Financial independence is encouraging women to not put up with abuse anymore.
Men are also becoming cautious about getting married as they realise it will not be an easy ride.
Win-win.

 

[Bilal9]

You can't regulate it like that - this would only drive up class division and resentment. People should have less or no children all across the board. Despite the risk of an ageing population as a result, we must reduce our population by a third if we are to ever become a developed country.

We should create an environment where people are encouraged to marry late and find raising kids troublesome. Keeping on educating women is certainly helping.

Yes - you're right, regardless of concerns about demographic dividend etc. I think we in Bangladesh at this time need serious reduction of birthrates across the board.

Certainly education of women and "Repression of Women act" is critical. Mardhor korley shongshar korbe ke, chhele hok ba meye hok.

But I am not for 50/50 split of property like in the West in case of a divorce. That has been a disaster and cannot be adopted.

 

[Mad Scientist 2.0]

Sooner or later it will end in disaster. Without healthy functioning family a nation is bound to doom. Europe, Japan is glaring example of that.